Written by susan allen-rosario
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 31 March 2006

image for Maxi Pad Wrestling Seeks National Support
"Taking the pad to the mat"

USA Wrestling has announced today that they will seek approval to add Maxi Pad Wrestling to their competition format.
"Women's free style maxi pad wrestling deserves consideration as part of our international competition format. It is a sport whose time has come and should be added to the US Nationals and World Team trials. We hope eventually to gain the approval of the US Olympic committee, to add this new women's freestyle wrestling to the Olympic games."
USA Wrestling published their tentative roster for the 2006 USA Wrestling world team trials in Sioux City, Iowa - May 27-28, even though Maxi Pad wrestling is not yet excepted as a legitimate part of this competition, USA Wrestling plans to put their maxi pad wrestlers on display in a trial exhibition at this years event.
"Our Maxi Pad wrestlers will prove to the world, that they are indeed, the best in the nation. They deserve all the recognition and glory that this new and exciting form of freestyle wrestling affords them," a spokesperson for USA Wrestling told reporters.
The group calling themselves, "The Kotex Kids" are being sponsored in part by several very large female product companies including Kotex, (Kimberly Clark) and USA personal products companies (Johnson & Johnson). The girls in this group range in age from 10-18 years old. Some of the girls, we are told, are pre-menstrual, in other words, are not experiencing menses or regular periods. "Menstruation is not a prerequisite for gaining membership to the team. You just need to be a great wrestler and take the ‘pads to the mat' as they say."
The Women's Freestyle Maxi Pad Wrestling format will be categorize
and conducted as follows:
1st Division:
Women's Feather Weight Panty Shield Showdown
Wrestlers will qualify and advance directly to the next division.
2nd Division:
Women's Medium Weight Maxi Pad Showdown
Winning wrestlers will go on to compete
in the 3rd division in a best of three finals.
3rd Division:
Women's Grande Pad Showdown
Contenders of this event will wrestle
a full sized adult Depends (extra absorbent)
and go on to wrestle, like winners of the world
championships.

Make susan allen-rosario's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 2?

9 6 2 8

Go to top ^