Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 12 February 2012

image for "Handy-man" Suarez refuses to wipe his bum clean!
Calling Suarez one of these is an insult to our next of kin!

Luiz Suarez, "top-sportsman" and not very good "handy-man", who just happens to apply his trade for a club that really should know better employing such ignorant apes (sorry that's an insult to an ape), decided not to wipe his bum clean.

In front of 75.000 Manchester United fans and the world on TV he refused to "clean the slate" by not giving his filthy hand to someone who he racially abused and who was actually willing to forgive him.

Suarez has had several very nasty incidents in his "illustrious, infamous" career. In Holland whilst playing for Ajax Amsterdam he attempted to copy Mike Tyson by biting off an opponent's ear. He then came to England and then racially abused Evra and in the interim, kicked Scott Parkers ribs black and blue, what a charmer! Apart from diving all over the pitch, pinching and pulling his opponents body parts; minor misdemeanours compared to the others mentioned.

Liverpool FC obviously have not understood that this Uruguayan ape has no right to represent their club and their manager, "Mr I didn't see anything" Daiglish, who protects his "angelic super-star" at all costs, should also be banned, alongside his pet monkey, on a banana boat back to where they both came from!

But then again we are talking about Liverpool, a city infamous for it's not so glorious past. Maybe they should hang a poster of Kunta Kinte up outside their town hall to remind every Scouser who booed Evra yesterday of their not particularly nice "Roots"!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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