Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Saturday, 7 January 2012

image for Pompey Urged To Go Easy On Chelsea
Needs a lift.

As the third round of the FA Cup arrives, most fans lick their lips in anticipation of excitement and upsets.

But one fan is hoping his second-tier team will take pity on their Premier League opponents.

Portsmouth "super fan" Jake Seaport is urging the Fratton Park outfit to let Chelsea win in tomorrow's match.

"Ah seen ve ledz trainin' this week an' they're well up for the trip to Stamford Bridge.

"But you has to feel sorry for the Chelsea boys - well, ah do's anyway. They're 'avin' a roight old toim of it in the league and they've lost some of their ledz to that African Cup of Nations - like we ollers done when Harry Redknapp was in charge dayn 'ere.

"So, they needs a bit of a lift, they do's, an we needs to be concentrating on the league. So Ah sez to ve ledz, let them Chelsea win - 'ave a little heart.

"I think you see they'll listen to me tomorrow."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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