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Friday, 30 December 2011

image for Thierry Henry Nears Arsenal Return - and more old gunners want in
Hooray - Henry returns!

Arsene Wenger has confirmed Thierry Henry will sign a two-month deal to return to Arsenal if insurance agreements can be worked out with New York Red Bulls.

Wenger wants Henry to fill the supporting striker void which will be left when Chamakh and Gervinho leave for the African Nations Cup. Wenger told the press conference "Thierry is not as fast as 10 years ago, but he drinks plenty of Red Bull, they give him a free case every week in New York, luckily he has brought some with him.

AS this news broke, more ex Arsenal players expressed a desire to return. Lee Dixon & Martin Keown both want to top up their BBC pay as they are only paid 3% of what Alan Hansen gets. David Seaman has been unemployed since appearing on Dancing On Ice. Ray Parlour said he would play for 'beer and peanuts' as he doesn't want his ex-wife getting more alimony.

Arsene Wenger denied any of these players will return as he 'no longer signs English players'. Patrick Vierra is tipped to be unveiled at next weeks press conference.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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