Written by radiogagger
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Thursday, 29 December 2011

image for Rooney 'Can't Wait' To Play In The Europa League
Rooney goes green - with envy

Wayne Rooney put a positive spin on Manchester United's exit from the Champions League telling the waiting press pack he 'can't wait' to play in the Europa League. "Yeah, it's great, I've never played on a Thursday night before - well exciting - when i was a kid, me mam used to take us to visit mee 'uncle' on a Thursday nite"

He then went on to say that United will benefit from the experience as "Europa is closer than Europe - we can travel to games on that Euroferry boat thing. I just hope i don't get seasick"

Before the press conference finished he added with Wednesday nights free "I can visit my 'granny' and 'cousin' back on Merseyside - it's been a while since i've seen them"

Rooney is expected to play a key role for the Red Devils in the Europa League and will be amongst the favourites for the tournament. As a club United have a rich heritage and big trophy room and also a long tradition of losing to unfashionable teams like Basel, Besiktas, Benfica, Southend, Crystal Palace, Bournemouth and Leyton Orient.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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