Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 30 November 2011

image for Pompey - By Royal Appointment?
Pompey's saviour?

As Portsmouth FC finds itself embroiled in yet another financial scandal, one fan has come up with an answer to the crisis.

The future of the south coast club was once again thrown into doubt yesterday after owner Vladimir Antonov's company, CSI, went into administration.

Speculation was rife that Pompey would face a points deduction that would leave them rooted to the foot of the NPower championship. It is just two years since Pompey became the first Premier League Club to go into administration and suffer relegation after points were docked.

But Superfan Jake Seaport reckons he has the answer to the proud old club's current woes: "I'm off dayn Buck'n'am Palace to see the Queen," he said earlier today as he boarded the Waterloo train at Portsmouth Harbour Station.

"It's been well documented that 'Err Majesty is a passionate Pompey fan so Ah reckons she would want to buy the club and invest in it proper - that's what it needs.

"An' ah reckons she ain't got involved before 'cos all them flunkies keeps the news about the club's finances from 'err, cos they knows she would want to get involved - and that Philip's a Scummer, inne, so 'e don't tell 'err neither.

"Well, I'm gonna clue 'err in. Then there'll be changes dayn 'ere!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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