Written by mikewadestr
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 27 October 2011

image for Rex Ryan Complains that Wes Welker's Statistics Should be Cut in Half
This is fucking bad!

After defeating the San Diego Chargers in a thrilling comeback, New York Jets head coach, Rex Ryan, in a press conference refused to talk about his team's accomplishments on the field and instead garnered his sites on his division rival, the New England Patriots.

His shots were pretty much aimed at the way too small to be significant New England wide receiver, Wes Welker, who, honestly speaking, no one has ever actually seen.

"I'm tired this Welker crap", espoused and exasperated Ryan. "This is total crap that a little, whatever he is can be leading the NFL in receiving and receiving yardage. The little shit is too fucking small to be a wide receiver in this Big Guy League. His statistics should be half of what he is because he is waaaayyyy to fucking small. And you can quote me on that!"

"Oh shit! Did I just say fucking? Did I really just say fucking?"

In unison the entire seated press, smirking wildly, nodded yes!

"Well this is just fucking great! Just Goddamn fucking great!"

"Shit! I get fucking fined every time I say words like fuck and shit and Goddamn."

"Goddamn the cussing man!"

"This is not good", said NFL analyst Ron Jaworski. "Man Rex should know better than saying bad words like fuck and shit! Geez, the youngsters now a day's know words like Pokemon and..:

"Well you know!"

"Oh crap! Now I am going to fined for my language. Man, I guess Rex and I are going soft after this paycheck. I guess it's Country Buffet for both of us this week".

Make mikewadestr's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 1?

9 4 7 11

Go to top