Written by Alvin Taveras
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Sunday, 23 October 2011

image for Kobe Bryant Has Trouble Winning in Angry Birds

LOS ANGELES - It's been one hundred and fifteen days since the National Basketball Association has been on lockout. Although sport pundits tell me that these kind so lockouts in sports always deal with the same thing, money, greed, and home court advantages.

In the meantime, players have tried to occupy their time with many sorts of activities including amateur basketball leagues, reality shows, and criticizing Lebron James. However, one star player has occupied his time on his smartphone playing Angry with Birds and throwing it against the wall when he loses.

Kobe Bryant, arguably the best active basketball player after Hedo Turkoglu, has been angry with himself on how difficult some of the levels have been on the latest Halloween season of Angry Birds.

"It's like they purposefully made it impossible to win,' argues Kobe Bryant.

At the moment, Kobe was on level four and has been trying for the last two weeks to get the cardinal bird to explode before landing on some oinking pigs. He frequently calls fellow basketball average and reality superstar Lamar Odom for some advice. Unfortunately, neither of them knew that cardinals couldn't explode just because you tap the screen again, they can only fly into pigs.

However, this gaming experience hasn't always been negative. Kobe's play on the widely recognized game has taught him some life lessons. He has learned to be more empathetic to losers.

"This is probably what Lebron James and Shaquille O'Neal feel like pretty much every season with the exception of Shaq's anomaly season. It sucks to lose," Bryant adds.

In the meantime, the superstar hopes to get back on the courts and whoop some ass before it'll be too late for Michel Jordan to be staring down his a-hole.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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