Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Tuesday, 20 September 2011

image for Wolves given Twitter lesson by QPR
they used to play on grass

Wolves manager Mick McCarthy has blamed Twitter after his team were clinically deconstructed by QPR with tweets from @Joey7Barton, @alefaurlin and @RealDJCampbell. "QPR were just too articulate for us today" said a speechless McCarthy, who has banned his own players from writing on the networking site.

The Irishman, who has only 3 followers, might now regret calling anyone who uses Twitter 'numpties' on his own Twitter page.

QPR manager Neil Warnock claims his team's tweeting has improved 30% since the new peeps joined the club:"Joey7Barton and @seanwrightphillips29 are tweeters of Premiership quality and we saw that today" said the QPR gaffer.

Neil Warnock is also delighted with the way his new keyboard warriors have set themselves up on their Twitter home page: "We have developed our own style of tweeting using short sharp interchanges and lots of banter about Orwell and Nietzsche" wrote Warnock in his weekly column for the Independent.

New boy @Joey7Barton epitomises the Existential cool that is spreading through Shepherd's Bush and is emerging as the eminence grise of the QPR literary movement.

The rapidly maturing scouser has assured his followers that he will not let the red mist come down if he is provoked by illiterate tweeters from rival teams: "The mouse is mightier than the fist. I am going to hurt them on the trending page rather than stab them in the eye" said @Joey7Barton.

Neil Warnock has expressed his delight with @Joey7Barton's progress since joining QPR:"I have told @Joey7Barton that if he works hard and keeps his head down he will soon be tweeting for England."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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