British Airways- Iberia Murder Latest.

A real whodunit developed yesterday when the first instalment of a new murder mystery was announced. The muddy plot led to plane-spotters shaking their fists at Iberia planes landing at Heathrow Airport.

"They knew there would be an outcry. They've even tried repainting them thinking we wouldn't know which ones they were but they forgot to shave the hair under the wings. This is going to be a real tragedy for us plane-spotters, there'll be fewer planes to spot if they all become the same company. What will we have to jot down then?"

The authors would only tell us this:

"We can't tell people who is going to die, that would spoil the story, all we can say is that perhaps BA will murder Iberia, and there again, Iberia might murder BA. What we can promise is that there will be surprises. The reader is left in suspense not knowing whether LHR will be overrun by drunken Spanish aircrew shouting ole and drinking all the Rioja! Will Spanish cities be flooded by snake-hipped rent boy-seeking air stewards? That's the whole point of a mystery. One thing we can tell you is that the anglo-iberian publicity will be largely a load of bull."

British and Spanish union leaders were in talks all night and Noway Jose and Pete Thicke the union presidents released a joint statement.

"We have had emergency talks but no decisions have been reached except that we need to employ an interpreter."

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