Banker doesn't get massive bonus

Pinguis Argentari is Latin
LONDON - At least one British banker was today said to be "close to tears" when he learned he wouldn't be getting a multi-million pound bonus this Christmas.
One of only a few senior City men not due to receive enough dosh to buy a small armada of yachts, Mervyn King put a brave face on and did what anyone else would do - started to lay into those who would be getting 8-figure payouts in their Christmas stockings.
"We must put a stop to the bonus culture or risk running out of massive yachts," said Mr. King, who is thought to have is own eye on a 2009 230ft Imputavi Expressus boat popular with a lot of bankers this year.
Some bankers have turned on the head of the Bank of England, especially riled by his "no reward for failure" mantra.
One anonymous city worker, phoning from his boat somewhere off the coast of Turkey, told me "We didn't fail, we were actually very successful - at making piles of money for ourselves."
It is widely believed that next year's yacht of choice will be the 300ft Pinguis Argentari unveiled at this year's Monaco Yacht Show.
Make Jimbo's day - rate this story with the stars, they're just down there!
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!








