New cloning process allows Santa to bring a lingerie model to every teenage boy this Christmas!

Promising a 'stocking-stuffer like no other...And actually in a real pair of stockings,' Santa Claus announced today that a new cloning process will allow him to fulfill every male teenagers sexual dream this Christmas!

The fabled North Pole Christmas factory has been working overtime to complete the world's first cloned and mass produced Santa's Secret Angels - a complete line of live, sexy lingerie model girls!

Where once the desires of a hormone imbalanced teenaged male could only be titthered about with friends, it has now become a reality as hundreds of thousands of 'Dear Santa' letters are pouring in from around the world in care of the North Pole.

'Dear Santa, Even though I'm not a teen could you please send me a buxom blonde! P/S Please wrap it like a bike so my wife doesn't open it!' Skoob-UK

'Dear Santa, Please send me my very own Santa's Secret Angel. Ever since Mum caught me wanking and glued my hands together I need some help!' D.Whitehead-USA

'Dear Santa, Do you have guy Angels? If so, please send a real hairy one on Christmas.' J.Budda-USA

'Dear Santa, Would you please send me a Santa's Secret Angel that knows alot about computers? My IT guy is away on a bender and I have this little website that needs a tad of work! I love you Santa!' M.Lowton-UK

'Dear Santa, please send me a Secret Angel I can punch every once in awhile just for fun.' Anonymous, Springfield, IL

Parents around the globe are in a quandry about the possiblity of another mouth to feed after Christmas day arrives. Visions of hungry teens ravishingly attacking the Christmas dinner table after a romp fest of sexual desires that are finally unleashed in the wee morning hours, have caused concerns for many cash-strapped Moms and Dads.

"Not to worry," says Santa in a pre-Christmas interview. "The unigue part of this break-through cloning process is that Angels survive on nothing but peppermint candy and water!"

The Acme Peppermint factory has added a third shift and is expected to be busy for the next 35 years.

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