Featured Writer
20 November 2009
Business Brief
Latest in Business Brief: Discovery of Water on the Moon: Consequences for Business | Banker doesn't get massive bonus | Upscale housing development on famous 'Shit's Creek' colossal failure, claims broke developer Victor Nicholas. | Half Price Tickets for Train Passengers | Due to Inflation, Genie's Reduce Bottle Release Wishes to Two | Organic Grocer to Sell "Straight Sanctimony" | Company Sack Martian for being a Martian - New Martian Church Established on Earth for £140 | Cola company about to get away with it | Change your name or get sued | Tuna Fisherman Capture Fish Who Claims His Name is Henry Limpet | Hummer Brand Sold To China | New "Pee-A-Lot" Travel Centers To Open Every Thirty Miles On Interstates | Saturn's Last Call - a Tit-Top Hybrid | Lenny Henry to re-open Crossroads | Vegemite Removed From Shelves After Man Complains "It Tastes Like Shite!" | Microsoft to introduce new "Garage" operating system | UK Bank in blatant 'Trick or Treat' thievery | Bankerburgers favorite food of Bilderbergers | Coffee Giant Rolls Out Instant Coffee, Hostess Pastries | Kerry Kennedy Cuomo, Opus Dei Stooge |
Merger Looms For Many Letters.
The MD of DFS today spoke of a totally hypothetical bid to merge with the MFI, M&S and B&Q. This would possibly make them DFS&MFI&M&S&B&Q. We spoke at TGI's over a BLT and G&T.
Lyndon Stubbs, 48, used to work for th...
Jewellers Making Millions
In this climate of economic depression, high street jewellers S. Hamuels have reported massive profits on their year to date trading.
Bobby Toad, chief executive of the popular bling merchant, said today that although sales were well below average...
Crusty Boogers Put to Good Office Use
Featured in a computer technology industry magazine called the Pocket Protector Quarterly, an article by a New Jersey JAVA programmer has caused controversy in offices across the U.S.
Bob Forgreen, the author of the article, asserts that there are...
Santa's Lingerie Model Clones for Teenagers Very Popular With Men
In a follow-up story to one that this publication printed yesterday, our reporters have learned that Santa has been inundated with requests for his cloned lingerie models ( see original story here by Bargis Tryhol ). The requests for these models, h...
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Solar Powered Vibrator Rattles Store Shelves this Christmas
Sacramento, CA. - Sensitive to public interest in energy conservation and a reduction in hazardous landfill waste including discarded AA to D sized batteries, Happy Time Latex Products announced the availability of a full line of alternatively fuelle... -
Phone Company Adds Booty Calls to List of Services
The telephone company said that Booty Calls will be added to the list of optional services provided to their customers. Booty calls will be charged in a similar fashion to call forwarding, call waiting, and 3 way calling (which can be used in conjun... -
Sperm bank blaming uncertain economy for premature withdrawals!
Boston, MA - The Evans First National Sperm Bank has aggressively sought new donors for the past 16 months, but due to the sagging economy, deposits have fallen off by at least 70%. General Manager, Carl Grist has also implemented a penalty for 'e... -
Jewelry Repair Shop Offers Free Bridal Mounting
Royal Jewelry Repair Shop has extended their services and now offers free Bridal mounting, in addition to thier free cleaning and low cost repair services. The store, which has been in business for five years, is owned by Ted E. Duke and Roscoe King... -
Christmas office party ban could cost the UK plenty
With the recession still ringing in the ears of many UK companies, some are taking drastic action to reduce costs. Worse than making people redundant; office Christmas parties are being cancelled. This has left many office workers with a problem;...
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British Airways- Iberia Murder Latest.
A real whodunit developed yesterday when the first instalment of a new murder mystery was announced. The muddy plot led to plane-spotters shaking their fists at Iberia planes landing at Heathrow Airport. "They knew there would be an outcry. They'v... -
Popular Toothpaste and Vaginal Cream Companies Merge
Another recent corporate merger has led to the creation of a new line of products for the consumer. Vagifix and Colpaste companies will now combine their product offerings into a new multi purpose cream. Based on the science of combining only nat... -
US trade gap a wide shock
Cambridge, MA - M.I.T. economists are perplexed over a largely wider trade gap in September. According to calculations run on the data, as reported by Norance Hornaby of East Campus, Americans must be producing much less and buying much more. "I... -
Osama Bin-Regulator?!
Sex Offenders and Monkeys have failed, stupid knee-jerk reactions to mortgage problems and vain attempts to look like they do something have had no impact, the British public still think that ailing financial regulators are still about as useful as s... -
Cadberry and Krafft Close to Merger Agreement
The two food processing giants are close to formal agreement for merger, says one insider to the negotiations. Working through the last details, executives are close to decisions affecting both companies, including paint colors for the merged office...
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