Fat Bloke To Replace Sir Alex As Manchester United Boss

Manchester United are to part company with Sir Alex Ferguson. The Glazer clan have become impatient, arguing that the Premier League title has not been won this season. Ferguson is thought to have claimed that the season technically isn't over yet. Such an explanation did not save his job.

The board are expected to appoint James Fat Bloke as manager following a speedy apprenticeship. After half an hour pratting about with the squad, Fat Bloke has found himself the number 1 candidate for the most prestigious job in football. He is said to have built up a good rapport with Wayne Rooney after the pair were seen sharing a mars bar.

Fat Bloke is excited about the opportunity. "Wow, yes! It's fantastic. Obviously I wont be able to continue in my day job as a comic actor." So, good news all round.

Football clubs are starting to look outside the game to people who have no football knowledge. Southampton looked to Sir Clive Woodward, Reading had a flirtation with Uri Gellar and Steve Bruce still manages to find work as a manager.