Cheryl Cole Free Kick Broke Ashley's Tibia

It's been revealed that Ashley Cole's depressed fracture of the tibia is not a legacy from the Champion's League game against Atletico Madrid.

Although he was injured in that match three weeks ago, the real damage was done when wife Cheryl gave him a well-deserved kick. And that happened a whole week later.

The true story involves a bitter domestic row. And might also explain why Cheryl was not wearing her wedding ring on X-Factor this week.

As the world now knows, a short while back the unfortunate Miss Cole was the victim of a vile con by World Famous paparazzo Luigi Fanchini.

She was lured to an Oxford professor's rooms and persuaded to remove all her clothes in order for an old nun to take full frontal nude photographs of her.

When she later realised she'd been tricked she did the first thing that any clean living decent woman would - and told her husband.

But instead of sympathising with his sobbing wife, jealous Ashley went mad. He couldn't bear to think that other men had looked upon Cheryl's naked body. He went on and on about night and day.

Cheryl tried to help him but he was consumed with those emotional demons that sometimes visit a man who isn't secure of his own sexuality.

He accused her of being a tart and a loose woman. Nothing she could say would shut him up. Eventually she'd had enough.

Cheryl gave Ashley a good kick in his shin bone. It cracked immediately, proving she'd have made a fine Premier League left back.

Consequently, Ashley Cole is out for at least a month.

_{Make Colonel's day - rate this story with the stars, they're just down there!}