"Never was a story of such woe as this of Wayne and his Cristian-O". With the tragic poetry of star-crossed Romeo and Juliet tearing at his heartstrings, the best player in the World, Cristiano Ronaldo has finally confessed what we've all known for ages - "I'm in love with Wayne".

Last night the Real Madrid superstar sat down and wept as he composed yet another pleading text message to his beloved ex-strike partner.

"Hello Waynie. It's me. Pretty Ronnie. Remember that night in the shower after we won the Champion's League. Let's do it again. Soon. Love Ron".

Cristiano has made it clear he can no longer live in Spain without Wayne beside him, flicking sensitive balls here and there and setting-up all his goals.

After losing three of the last four games, Real Madrid are in one of their familiar love-panics. Divorce is in the air and chief coach Pellegrini, who apparently doesn't have a pre-nuptial, has already consulted lawyers.

Rooney meanwhile is keen to stay in Manchester with his wife and new baby football.

However, there is still hope that love will find a way.

Sir Alex Ferguson has made it clear he'd be more than happy for Cristiano and Wayne to shack up together once again in Manchester. "To make these lovesick lads happy, I'm willing to give Real £30 Million tomorrow for Ronaldo", he kindly offered.

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