American biker Lance Armstrong may have to return his seven Tour De France medals after an exam indicated that he was in the same field as South African runner, Caster Semenya.

"That's crazy", Armstrong told officials after agreeing to an exam for steroids. "Just because I lost that second ball on my last try for number eight, I am not a Caster Semenya."

Immediately, the leader of South Africa declared war on Lance Armstrong.

"This is all a bunch of shit! It's those French! Somebody has found that second ball I lost and they're trying another way to take away my trophies!"

"His real name is 'Lance Edward Gunderson' said a French official. "We found it on Wikipedia and Wikipedia does not lie. If he or she can change their name, they can change their sex. Who knows how he/she lost the balls and were they real or had he/she had a transplant?"

Meanwhile African leader, Jacob Zuma has stated that if Semenya does not receive an official apology from Armstrong/Gunderson by the end of the week, he is sending troops into Austin, Texas.

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