Featured Writer
20 November 2009
Sport Headlines
Latest in Sport Headlines: Booger flinging to be included as a newly recognized sporting event | New Olympic Sport Announced | Irish Leprichauns cast spell over the French turning them into Frogs legs! | Forget soccer! New team oriented sport is sweeping Europe! | Barack Obama Inducted Into Baseball Hall Of Fame | Rival Football Fans At A Loss To Explain Hatred Of Eachother | Is Bruno Senna the real thing? | NFL star claims ' British football is for sissies and fags!' | Captain Wayne Is Mad About Fish Fingers | Fernando Caceres Attackers To Be Turned Into Corned Beef | UK Rejoices As David Smacks The Crap Out Of Goliath (Again!) | The grunting Williams Sisters bore their fans to-DEAF but do donate their winnings to their own anti-grunt charity! | Marks & Sponser @Newcastle. | Americans change rules of football - in America | Rafa to consider player/manager role at Pool | Henry Cooper fights champion David Haye | Torres: I'm Prettier Than Drogba | Packer Plot To Do In Favre Exposed By The Enquirer | 'No fixes in boxing' shock claim made by Don King, as Serena Williams defeats Nikolai Valuless to take WBA title | Rafa to consider player/manager role at Pool |
World's Most Interesting Man Falls Asleep At Charity Golf Tournament
Fernando Monte Verde, the International Playboy, jet setter, and billionaire known as The World's Most Interesting Man fell asleep at The Dos Lagos Celebrity Golf Tournament yesterday. Tournament organizers, who were paying him a large fee for showi...
Wayne Rooney Baby To Be Known As "Erm"
Manchester United and Engand dolt Wayne Rooney and his wife Coleen celebrated the birth of their first child recently, and have announced that, though the baby boy has been named Kai (laughs), he will most likely be known around the house as "Erm".
England Football Team's threat to withdraw from the friendly match with Brazil in Qatar, over Prawn Cocktail Crisps!
Doha Airport, Qatar: As part of the valuable PR trip, to help to jump-start England's shambolic 2018 World Cup bid campaign, the English FA scored another own-goal.
The hugely influential president of the Qatar FA, Mohammed Bin Hammam, who is a...
Irish ask FA and SFA for invasion replay
The Irish today asked the FA and SFA for a replay of their invasion and settlement by English and Scottish incomers that culminated in the total defeat of Ireland in the early 1600s.
Ireland had never been a single nation until it was colonised by...
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MCC rules out sale of naming rights for Lord's after approach from Hooters
LONDON - The Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) today ruled out the sale of naming rights to the Lord's cricket ground after an approach from pub chain Hooters caused horrified cricket fans to spit into their morning cup of tea. The membership committe... -
England go for a 'Brazilian'
In a bizarre twist to Fabio Capello's managerial reign of the England national football team, he has ordered each and every member of his squad to have a Brazilian style trim of their downstairs topiary. When asked about his strange request Fabio... -
Sir Alex Ferguson CBE Tribute Dinner - A three course dinner of chewing gum!
Hilton, Park Lane, LONDON: On Tuesday, 17th November 2009, the LMA Hall of Fame 1,000 Club Dinner celebrated the success and longevity in the volatile world of professional football, those football managers who have managed 1,000 or more domestic le... -
Cheating, bent, corrupt French slither through, the HAND certainly not of Mon Dieu!
The brave, fighting, bulldog Irish nearly stuffed the French Football team yesterday, only an act of pure corruption allowed the "Froggies" to hop through! The whole world saw it, only the blind, stupid, bought Ref didn't! Who wants the Irish w... -
Dan Marino To Change Name After European Country Mix-up
Former Miami Dolphins QB Dan Marino has told reporters that he is considering changing his name after a series of embarrassing mix-ups which resulted in him becoming confused with the tiny landlocked European country of San Marino. Marino (Dan) to...
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Thief'ry Hand'ry: "France 'accidently' qualified for the 2010 World Cup Finals!"
Stade De France: France 1-1 Rep. of Ireland. Thief'ry Hand'ry handles the ball twice before laying the ball off to William Gallas to put into the net, and give France an all important match equaliser and aggregate lead minutes from the end of extra-... -
MacLaren recalls Formula One buggies
Surrey - (Grand Prix): An outbreak of auto-erratic hysteria has seen the company recall its fleet amid complaints the follow-on formula-won buggies had become unhinged. A complete overhaul is now planned, grounding the marque's boy-racers and 2009... -
Andy Murray Triumphs At Britain's Most Talented Loser Awards
Royal Albert Hall: Britain's best tennis star since Fred Perry emulated the great Tim Henman last night and walked off with the top prize at the prestigious 'Sport Brits Awards'. Andy Murray, our growling wild-haired prodigy of a champion who... -
Chelsea to drop Terry to the bench.
A spokesman for Chelsea F.C have claimed. "We're demoting John Terry," a reporter for The Sun had asked what they meant by 'demoting' and the spokesman had replied. "We're benching him until we get Roman to give us the 40m we need to sign Steven Tayl... -
Minute's silence held at Anfield today for the death of Sarah MacNamara's budgie
As no football matches are now played in Britain without a minute's silence being held before them, for the death of somebody or other who had no connection with the matches or clubs involved in those matches, today a silence in memory of the tragic...
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