UFO leaves giant crop circle image outside Peoria. Residents shocked!

Police in this small mid-west city are stymied over a bizarre crop circle image left at the Hermann farm. The image was left on a soybean field just outside the city limits. Police say it appears to have been done sometime late last night.

The two-hundred foot phallis that is perplexing local authorities, was first spotted by Lew Gast, helicopter pilot for station KMFG-TV this morning as he broadcast a traffic report. Here is a transcript of his broadcast:

"Folks, if you're heading out on I-15 this morning heading east, watch out for workers along the shoulder.........JESUS! Look at that! It's a goddamn dick!"

Reporters rushed to the site and interviewed a surprised farmer who had no idea his field was disturbed. Farmer Jud Herman just scratched his bald head and said, "I just don't believe it. Here on my farm! A UFO flown by perverts?"

Noted alien expert Miles Fillbish had a theory he shared with reporters, "I wager it's a message from the UFO mothership. We'll measure the outline and mathematically compute the total square footage and run it through the computer to see if there are any encrypted messages or hidden formulas."

Another local feminist, Betty Gilbert had a different twist on the event, " It's just another way to dominate us woman by intimidation. Yeah, a giant penis is a man's way to dominate us, just like a cave man's club was a phallic symbol too!"

Charlie Flute, a local merchant had a different thought after he saw the impression from the road, "Looks like ol' ET might be a bit horny! I'd love to send him over to Gilbert's house for a good old romp in the hay with that old biddy! Sorta like a welcome wagon gift from us folks here on Earth!"

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