Paleontologists find prehistoric Mastodon remains in Congressmen Henry Waxman's nostrils!

Congressmen Henry Waxman never guessed he would be in the news for something un-related to politics, but stranger things have happened to people as strange looking as the Democratic Representative from California's 30th District.

Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA) is noted for the largest set of nostrils ever seen on a human being. Some have claimed to be able to see clear through the Congressman's head! Others claim they've seen everything from Elvis to a colony of bats living inside the man's enormous nostrils.

One constituent claims she fears for her life everytime Waxman shows up at her office! "I'm just waiting for that double-barreled cannon of his to sneeze. Who knows what might come out."

The Smithsonian Institute in Washington sent a spelunking team to visit Waxman in order to map his nostrils as part of the Federally funded mapping program for the least visited areas in the US.

On the second visit, a recovery team located what might be a skeleton of an extinct Mastodon, the name given for a number of prehistoric mammals of the extinct genus Mammut, from which modern elephants are believed to have developed. The earliest known forms lived in the Oligocene epoch in Africa.

A government paleontologist was called in to verify the remains. It is feared that the Mastodon crawled into Waxman's nose to escape the deadly cold of the last ice age.

More news at 11!

_{Make Bargis's day - rate this story with the stars, they're just down there!}