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Daniel Bristol
Daniel Bristol
Joined: 14 May 2004
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Ministry: Phorm is Legal in UK

Written by Jimbo Gunn
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Tags: Phorm

Monday, 24 March 2008

image for Ministry: Phorm is Legal in UK

After a relatively short period of investigation, Britain's Ministry for Public Enlightenment and Propaganda today announced that Phorm, the internet technology that tracks surfers' web browsing in order to deliver "targeted" advertising, is legal under UK and European information and electronic privacy laws.

Joanne Goebbels, the minister's personal spokeswoman, issued a terse press release stating "Innovations of this nature are good news for legitimate businesses across Britain, giving the nation a competitive edge in today's challenging world economic climate. Credit crunch, war on terror, enemies within, yadda yadda..."

Dodgy Advice

The minister himself was unavailable to answer accusations that his department had in the past issued "dodgy" advice in relation to the legality of tracking all Jews and exterminating homosexuals.

In a written response to our enquiry, Citywide Defenders of Reputation, a Berlin-based PR firm of note, assured us that the practice was entirely legal. Neither the ministry nor their PR puppets could point us in the direction of a single lawyer of repute to defend their claims; however neither could we find legal counsel willing to counter them.

The ministry's most ardent critic, Dr Nicholas Kelly, General Counsel of the Reich Information Policy Review Board was found dead in the woods last weekend after committing suicide by first tying his hands behind his back then impaling himself on a 12-inch knife whilst simultaneously shooting himself in the back of the head.

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