Apple Denies iPhone Virus

An Apple spokesman denied today that there were any problems with an iPhone virus. Reports of such a virus have been circulating among blogs and in technology magazines, but so far there has been no definitive evidence.

"The iPhone is robust, based on a long-tested software architecture," said an Apple spokesman named Borg. He reassured reporters that resistance to the iPhone is futile, and that all will be assimilated into the iPhone family in the near future.

Bloggers such as picard.enterprise.blog have pointed to curious behavior in the iPhone, where it freezes for short periods of time: "It's almost like it's thinking, planning, or something like that."

Fans of the iPhone have been decking themselves out with hardware, including Bluetooth earphones and beyond. Some are getting carried away and looking like they come out of a sci-fi movie. Occasionally they appear zombie-like for periods of time, with some suggesting a darker conspiracy at Apple.

Borg dismissed such concerns: "All will be well once the collective is complete."

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