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Daniel Bristol
Daniel Bristol
Joined: 14 May 2004
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Kanye West Discloses Ebbw Vale Grime Origins of 'Valley Rap' to Jay-Z & Eminem

Written by Colonel Juan
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Saturday, 28 November 2009

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Wales beyond the Valley

Rap da Valley, created by Kanye West and rumoured to become the new sound of Hip-Hop has its roots in the coal mines of South Wales.

At a satellite news conference yesterday in Merthyr Tydfil, West explained to Jay-Z and Eminem how he came to discover the 'urban' sound of the Valley and transcribe it into powerful music. Also linked into the worldwide conference was Puff Daddy, Common, Dizzee Rascal, Rakim, Snoop and many others.

Kanye spoke fast as Welsh barmaids lined up pints of ale to other bemused locals who had gathered in the Miner's Arms in front of a hastily erected 10 foot screen.

He said that 'Valley Rap' was the natural root of all Urban Grime. First came the Industrial Revolution. And what was that based on? Coal. And where did the coal come from? All over England. But particularly Ebbw Vale and the Rhondda Valley of South Wales.

West talked of sweat. Of bursting lungs. Dust. Underground. Creaking timbers. Dim lamps. The jet-black coal face. Hacking. Muscles. Streaming eyes. Burning mouths. Blistered hands. Aching. Straining. Twisting. Hurting. Grinding. Blinding... and then. Men packed tight in a cage. Like crushed motor cars in the breaker's yard. Silent. Except the sound of steel cables winding and pulling. Dragging this dead weight round and round and up and up.

Until the sunshine.

Kanye then said he'd talk more tomorrow.

Meanwhile many of Hip-Hops finest are staying on in South Wales catching up with the beat and listening to the sound of the Valley that echoes with the scream of grime that once coated the soul of man in soot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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