Jamie Bell sues as Spielberg Chooses Jedward for New Tintin film

Steven Spielberg will have his ass sued by Jamie Bell after an announcement that Jedward are to be cast as Titin in Spielbergs 2011 film "The Golden Unicorn".

Bell it will be remembered playe Billy Elliot, poovy ballet-dancing nancy boy.

Bell replaced Love Actually star Thomas Sangster, who pulled out of the project when it was delayed due to funding issues. James Bond star Daniel Craig has also joined the cast as pirate Red Rackham who will resemble in every aspect every other character Craig has ever played except he wll have a pirate suit.

Spielberg has been reported as saying,

"Bell played the effeminate son of a British miner who insisted on learning ballet instead of the manly pursuit of hewing coal. The film was a moderate success and Bell came cheap because what else could he play after that travesty.

However, Jedward now out of the X-factor will be available and in a position to do anything to maintain their meagre stardom. They will not only be cheaper but we'll save on make up too because they're the nearest thing to Tintin clones I have ever seen. They'll also be useful to stand in for each other since some of the stunts are rather dangerous so if we lose one it won't matter, because we will have saved some money on stunt doubles.

The two are the latest additions to a high-profile cast with a distinctly British flavour. Earlier this month, Hot Fuzz stars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost were cast as the bumbling detectives Thomson and Thompson, while Andy Serkis signed up some time ago to play a wart on the arse of Tintin's salty bisexual sailor Captain Haddock.

The screenplay has been written by Steven Moffat, Joe Cornish and Edgar Wright, whose involvement may well explain the presence of Pegg and Frost who look nothing like each other, but have been signed up to play identical twins. Mackenzie Crook has also joined the cast because he does a good line in sea-hardened pirates and says oh aaarrr most of the time even off set.

The project ran into difficulties last year after Universal studios balked at the huge price tag, but it now looks to be back on track and also with a cameo from Simon Cowell who will play a filthy rich entrepreneur who wants the Golden Unicorn all for himself.

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