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Kenneth Manboobs
Kenneth Manboobs
Joined: 16 April 2004
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Susan Boyle Is Nude Sensation At Moulin Rouge

Written by Colonel Juan
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Story written: 05 November 2009
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Paris today after a night of Susan Boyle

Pigalle: Susan Boyle, the Builder's answer to Brigitte Bardot, brought a packed Moulin Rouge audience to its feet last night as she ripped off her clothes whilst belting out Edith Piaf love songs.

"Suzanne Bardot took Paris by storm", headlined Le Figaro this morning.

"Miss Bardot-Boyle took Pigalle into the sumptuous depths of her bosom and delivered an evening of composite sexuality not enjoyed in the Red Light District since the golden days of Toulouse-Lautrec", reported theatre critic M.Pascal.

Susan, now known to her fans as The Builders' Bardot, had her audience in tears with her rendition of "Amazing Grace".

She then began to slowly remove articles of clothing to her own take on the Piaf classic "Je Ne Regrette Rien". The gobsmacked audience could only sit back and wonder.

But when it came to "La Vie En Rose" and the melting away of the diaphanous gossamer that had covered her vagina, everyone rose to their feet and cheered in triumph as Susan held the microphone aloft as a final symbol of phallic control. It was a mesmerising finale.

Her début album "I Dreamed A Dream" is scheduled for release on November 23rd..

This weekend, the Builders' Bardot goes to the Champs-Elysées to play The Crazy Horse.

Tickets sold out months ago but some are available on Ebay for around £750.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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