Jennifer Aniston Admits to Nose Job

Actress Jennifer Aniston admitted today to having once had her nose fixed in plastic surgery. "Sure," she said, "I had a nose job. I'm not ashamed to admit it, either!"

"I was born with a real honker. I mean, it was a Jimmy Durante type Schnozzola. People thought that I had a beak when I was a kid. When I blew my nose, you'd have thought that it was an elephant stampede."

"It was also a really, really hairy nose. The other kids in school would grab on to the hairs (like they were ropes) if I was above them on the monkey bars and use them to climb up. One beautician wanted to charge me extra for doing a perm in my nose."

"My plastic surgeon and electrolosis have made me what I am today, along with the collagen and botox injections, my boob job, my tummy tuck, getting my ears pulled back, butt inserts, chin implants, having my teeth capped, and fixing my bowlegs."