"Wouldn't piss on his goddam coffin if it was on fire!"

Kennebunkport - (Chappaquiddick Mess): "Goddam bastard killed my sister Mary Jo. Now this frickin bell book n candle freakshow? Send Dubya if he's sober. Hell'll freeze over before I budge."

President George Bush Senior is boycotting Mary Jo Kopechne's killer's funeral this weekend in no uncertain terms.

His special message of condolence to the Kennedys included the traditional funeral wreath of a single bullet engraved with the word 'Adios' accompanied by a simple red rose.

Meanwhile in Crawford at Predator Chapel Ranch George Bush Jr is strapped to an intravenous antabuse drip, part of Laura's rapid 24 hour detox diet.

Saturday's funeral at Boston's First Hellfire Tabernacle of the Blarney will be Bush's first public appearance since the start of his last bender on January 20 this year.

Jenna Bush Hager is six months pregnant.

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