Frustrated Texas Gov. Rick Perry Wants to Secede From Family Too

Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who recently threatened that Texas could leave the U.S., has announced plans to secede from a far greater enemy: the Perry family.

"We've got a nice family," Perry told a throng of supporters outside of a Perry family barbecue. "But this latte-drinking, anti-tea party attitude has gone on long enough! Not in my America-err, Texas."

The crowd of 5,600 then began to chant "Secede! Secede!"

"First, my [rich] parents try to give me their money, but only if I give some of it away [to the poor or homeless]. Talk about wasteful spending," Perry said. "Now, my kids-who don't work, mind you-just sit back and expect me to pay for their health-care myself. Me!"

"Socialists," he muttered.

Perry reports that he joined this family with the stipulation that he could pull out at any time. Unconfirmed reports state that if he does secede, he'd love to join Bobby Jindal's family as his "cousin, or some kinda brother".

_{Make Daniel's day - rate this story with the stars, they're just down there!}