PETA Men to Enjoy Bedbug Blowjobs as Part of New "Spread the Love Tour"

Not to be outdone by the women in PETA's new "Compassion Tour," PETA men have now stepped up to the plate in an exhibition of their own devising which will also feature bedbugs (guests) and is intended to compliment the women's portion of PETA's new controversial public awareness campaign.

"Well it really was a no-brainer," explained Woody Harrelson, a member of PETA. "Us guys noticed how much attention the women were receiving for the cause, so we just put our heads together and decided to take it all up a notch."

Or down a notch, depending on whom one consults on the matter. Nevertheless, the "Spread the Love Tour" is set to kick off with a bang at South Beach, Miami, on Labor Day weekend.

However, word has spread like wildfire across the Internet causing many to question the appropriateness of the pending tour. Yet, Harrelson shrugs off those building concerns as emanating from "pure ignorance."

"Look, we've used sex to successfully sell our message for years -- why change now?" he questioned. "Besides, nobody is going to be naked here. The guys are attractive and will be minimally dressed, yes, but we're going to the beach for crying out loud!"

Pressed to explain the "blowjob" portion of the exhibition, Harrelson rolled his eyes and let out a deep sigh, "look, it will all be handled tastefully, and for a purpose -- don't forget the purpose," he chided.

"The guys will be lying in bed wearing satin underwear -- no nudity, none," Harrelson elaborated. "They will simply scoop up a handful or two of our guests and gently place them inside their drawers allowing them to crawl around and suckle freely for as long as the guests please." Harrelson continued. "No one is going to force the guests into a blowjob. If they choose to pleasure our guys, then they will do so voluntarily, and that's it. Nothing more."

This latest planned stunt has many scratching their heads in petrified wonderment. "My God!" one woman exclaimed whilst choking on her Starbucks Mocha Mint milkshake. "What will they come up with next?!"

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