Ron Paul Tired Of Just Being An Internet Sensation, Withdraws Candidacy

Internet phenom and presidential candidate Ron Paul has decided to withdraw his candidacy after continuing to be ignored by people in real life. At a recent campaign stop in upstate New York, Paul was greeted by only 4 supporters; they also happened to be his aides who are zealously pushing forward Paul's campaign with YouTube videos, blogs, and banner ads on websites.

Paul is the #1 most watched presidential candidate on YouTube, and the most searched candidate on Technocrati. Yet that popularity has not seemed to carry over to reality.

One passerby saw Paul during his campaign stop and shouted "Go back to the internet you loser!"

"But I love the Constitution!" pleaded Paul.

"Nobody cares," replied the passerby. "Go away."

A dejected Ron Paul went back to his campaign bus to cry and ask his aides why life is so unfair. When they could not come up with a decent answer, Paul decided to hold a press conference and withdraw his candidacy.

"I'm tired of just being another internet sensation for everybody's entertainment," Paul said at the press conference. "I'm not Miss Teen South Carolina. I have things to say. But nobody in real life will take me seriously. They watch my online videos, but when I see them on the street, they snub me or throw rocks. People search for me in the blogosphere, but not on the campaign trail. Therefore I have decided to withdraw my candidacy for president of the United States. I will now take any questions."

The entire room was empty except for one of Paul's aides filming him for YouTube.

"Yes, you there," Paul said to him.

"Uh, I don't have a question," he replied.

"OK, no more questions," Paul insisted, and left the podium.

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