Apple Computer in talks with Microsoft

CUPERTINO -- As a result of booming sales for Macintosh computers and iPods, linked with the increasingly bleak outlook for Microsoft operating systems, Apple's CEO Steve Jobs has made Bill Gates (King of Microsoft) an offer he couldn't refuse.

The sale of Microsoft to Apple has taken the computer industry by complete surprise. During a joint press conference today, Bill Gates said:

"I am just getting very tired of all the system crashes. I admitted to Steve that Windows was indeed a very poor rip-off of the original Macintosh computer. I also admitted to using a Mac for all my personal work -- that PC on my desk was only window dressing. After Apple takes over Microsoft, I will just lay back and watch Melinda spend all the money in our bank account."

Steve Jobs added a few comments:

"This is a wonderful opportunity to finally put that awful Windows to rest. I have no plans for Microsoft beyond selling off all the chairs and desks. We're planning a big bonfire for all that lousy software. And I can finally stop running all those terribly embarrassing TV adds with the pudgy PC guy and that smart-ass Macintosh guy."