09 February 2010
US Headlines
LATEST IN US HEADLINES
Ku Klux Klan under attack from Scottish Clan Man
Scottish Historian Ranald MacDonald has caused outrage by pointing out the bad stuff Scotland gave the World as well as the good stuff. Just as the Brits like to keep quite about the 1.5 BILLION people they killed in India and they countless others o...
US Defense Secretary: Gays Should Die
Now that the United States military is rescinding the "don't ask, don't tell" policy implemented by former President Clinton, hundreds of thousands of soldiers are stepping forward and admitting they are gay.
During a recent visit to an army base,...
Global Warming Scientists To Move From Washington To Warmer Climate
BLIZZARDS, POWER FAILURES AND EXTENDED COLD TEMPERATURES have apparently prompted Global Warming experts in Washington D.C. to announce the relocation of their offices to Florida. "This weather is ridiculous," said Dick Allshank, Chief Scientific Sp...
Rahm Emanuel Calls Republicans "Dumb AS White Bread" Won't Apologize
"They ARE as dumb as white bread," said Rahm Emanuel of Republicans after apologizing for calling some members of his own party, retarded.
"I apologize for calling them retarded. It was an insult to all of the, fine, wonderful, and loving retarde...
-
OJ Simpson says: 'Prison is boring!'
Convict number 183996, also known as OJ Simpson, has confided to friends that 'prison is way boring!' In an article in Prison Life Magazine, the ex-football player, rends his soul over the daily boredom he finds while sitting in a small cell with... -
In Her Book About Living in the White House, Laura Bush: "I had to stop Barney from humping on George's leg!"
Ex-First Lady Laura Bush admitted that Barney had a habit of humping on her husband's leg and bark every time George arrived back at the White House after a long trip. When asked about Barney's habits, Laura Bush also recalled, "I even had to sco... -
Octo-Mom Reveals Latest Pregnancy Results!
Octomom is back in the news with an announcement that she's pregnant again and is expecting a fresh new litter in August. A sonagram estimated the amount of fetuses at between 7 and 11. THis will give her a family of over 25 children, all of which ar... -
Only 10 More Days Until The First Sexual Oriented National Holiday In The US!
Noted Spoof writer Bargis Tryhol had pushed the US Congress to allow a brand new Holiday which will be celebrated every February 15th. The bill was also co-supported by the US Cattlemen's Association.This year will be the first celebration for our ne... -
Famous Writer In Minnesota Goes Beserk - She's Arrested And Charged With 'Wrote Rage'
ST. PAUL, Minnesota - Noted self-help author Alexis Dramcloud-Gulpbutter, 42, who has written over 20 books on subjects dealing with performing your own tonsillectomies and building your own riding mower, was taken into custody after going beserk at...
-
Al Sharpton's 'Last Will & Testament' claims he wants to be buried in a porch shaped coffin
Rev. Al Sharpton, a professional who-knows-what, stated to members of the press today thatin his last Will and Testiment his final resting place will be a wooden coffin shaped like an old fashioned house porch. His face softened as he recalled th... -
California Governor Opposes Gay Marriage Initiative..Says Girlie-Men are too screwed up!
California Governor Swartzeneggar vowed to veto any proposal that would include gay marriage, un-gay marriage, semi-gay marriage, and sorta gay marriage. "In fact, I'm against marriage in general!" Says the Governor. 'Doesn't gay mean happy? Like,... -
Sarah Palin Booed at Tea Party! Loses "Cherry" the Pussy in Crowd
Nashville, TN - Sarah Palin took the stage at the Tea party Convention in Nashville Tenessee last night at about 8 p.m Eastern time, to a huge cheer from the audience. However those cheers soon turned to booing when the former Alaskan Governor, a... -
Global Warming Doom And Gloomers Snowed Under
Washington, DC (MOT) A Global Warming Million-Man March, staged by elected officials, scientists and NGOs, was covered by nearly three feet of snow today. According to press releases from organizers, the march was supposed to draw attention to t... -
American Idol's General Larry Platt To Throw Out The First Football At Super Bowl XLIV
MIAMI - General Larry Platt of American Idol fame has been chosen to toss out the first football at The XLIV Super Bowl between the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints. The man who popularized the song "Pants On The Ground" said that he...
Top Satire & Spoof Stories
- Obama Furious With Pelosi Over Jobs Lost Letter
- New Orleans wins Super Bowl: No one cares!
- Amanda Holden Shows Up For Britain's Got Talent Auditions (Minus The Spanx).
- Megan Fox Said "Thumbs Down" To Showing Her Thumbs In The Super Bowl Commercial
- Joey 'pizza-face' Clementie tries new acne sanding treatment
- Sarah Palin Naked
- CBS Refused To Run Al Qaeda Super Bowl Ad Showing Osama Bin Laden
- Chelsea captain's missus sends him £125 divorce advice voucher for Valentine's
