Gordon Brown: All sex in the UK to be outsourced to India in 2010

London - Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced today that all and any sexual relations will be outsourced to India beginning in January 2010.

"We will do our bloody best to give our citizens the best and safest sex on the planet. Each sexual encounter will have government approvals and will be pre-tested for ride-a-bility, speed, and comfort!" Claimed Sexual Liason Minister Bernard Cavanaugh.

For years, India was equated with sleazy men and women and cheesy sexual attitudes. Though still sleazy, the sexual attitudes of Indian men and women has changed. Now, more is more! In fact, many Indians cannot wait to, as they put it..."Slam it to a Brit!"

With the introduction of cheap digitally controlled penis pumps from China and viagra from the US, Indian men have incurred a transformation to the, as the Indian press put it, 'Stud Muffins of the World'!

Bolli Nushra had this to say, " My pecker is so big now that I can run the Indian flag up on it and the kids salute it every morning! Isn't capitalism wonderful? Now both boys want to go to UK to do sex."

Nobi Gupta remembered his poor childhood, "I was so poor that if I didn't wake up with a stiffy, there'd be nothing to play with! Now, I get paid every month by an official UK Government check!"

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