Bacon Tested for Deadly Flu

Imports of lean bacon from Scandinavia were suspended today as reports confirmed that the bacon was suffering from the Danish variant of swine flu.

Three customers contacted the lead importer, when their bacon developed a high temperature and blistering during frying. It was also observed to wheeze and clearly had lung crackling.

Bacon lover, Lars Porchaggen, recognised the symptoms from a leaflet handed out at his local surgery.

"A temperature, wheezing and reddening of the skin are symptoms," Lars said in an exclusive interview for CNN. "Clearly this bacon was suffering from swine flu."

The UK food standards agency suspended all imports early this morning, turning away a large cargo ship full of bacon. Shoppers in UK supermarkets were disappointed to find shelves empty but understood the need for precautions.

A supermarket spokesperson confirmed that it was doing all it could to find new supplies of bacon and recommended that customers had sausage for breakfast instead.

As long as it wasn't Danish..

_{Make Elfinmyst's day - rate this story with the stars, they're just down there!}