Remains of hippy discovered in Peace Camp hole

HELENSBURGH, Scotland - The remains of a body estimated to have lain for 25 years in a hole at Faslane Peace Camp opposite the Trident nuclear submarine base, has been discovered.

A spokesperson for the peace camp said, "How you say in English? Vee ver digging zi hole for zi new sheitenhousen and sot vee found zi pipe. But it vos a bone so vee gave it to Max and Vorrior to fight over. Ven vee realised zer vos more bones vee stopped zi digging and called zi Police over. Zey stand outside zi camp doing nussing but eating crisps anyvay."

Forensic investigators believe that objects found on and around the skeleton suggest it is the body of a 1982 hippy. "We found a rainbow-thread wristband, a half-ounce of cannabis, a litre bottle of Woodpecker cider and a 1982 copy of Peace News," said Sgt Gail Force of Strathclyde Police.

Foul play has not been ruled out and police are interviewing the dogs.