Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Joan Rivers Loses It

A medical bulletin just released from a Manhattan clinic states that Joan Rivers had stopped talking during throat surgery.

written by Auntie Matter, 28 August 2014
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1970's Paedophile-themed Advent Calendars deemed in Poor Taste for Xmas 2014

Rescheduled for Halloween

written by Talking Tic-Tacs, 28 August 2014
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Donald Trump and Sarah Palin Rejected for Brain Study

"We regret that we had to reject Mr. Trump and Ms. Palin from our brain study but we don't have a microscope that can see objects that small yet," said the head of the American Society of Scientists.

written by Al N., 28 August 2014
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Lauren Bacall Left All Her Money to Her Children, Her Dog, and Robin Williams

In a classic bit of irony, when Lauren Bacall's will was read it was found she had left her estate to her children, her dog, and the late Robin Williams.

written by Al N., 28 August 2014
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NBC Fall Schedule to Include Remakes of My Mother the Car and Mr. Ed

The NBC Network announced that since remakes are very popular, besides Mr. Ed and My Mother the Car the network will have a mini-series of Kukla, Fran, and Ollie: The Later Years.

written by Al N., 28 August 2014
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Ayer's Rock Discovered To Be Balancing Weight For Planet Wobble

A tire fitter interviewed by our Australian reporter revealed yesterday that he was employed by God to balance the planet's tendency to wobble at 60 m.p.h by chipping bits of Ayer's Rock away.

written by Auntie Jean, 28 August 2014
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Restaurant needs weighty staff

Oppenheimer's Nuclear restaurant is looking for an overweight person as a new member of the serving staff. "We need a heavy waiter," said Robert, the owner.

written by IainB, 27 August 2014
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Panda May Have Faked Pregnancy For Buns.....

...in the oven next year. Much better auspices for furry twins during 2015's Year of the Panda

written by queen mudder, 27 August 2014
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Kanye West to Build Shrine to Himself

Kanye West has announced that he will build a large shrine for his fans to come and worship his great talent, and of course, buy Kanye merchandise!

written by Al N., 27 August 2014
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Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

written by queen mudder, 26 August 2014
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Ellen challenges Hillary

Hollywood lesbian Ellen Degenerate issued an ice bucket challenge to "friend" Hillary Clinton. "She's too cheap to donate money," Ellen said, "and she has hot hooters. I bet she has nice pokies!"

written by Gee Pee, 26 August 2014
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Brosnan still hot 15 years after being voted 'sexiest man alive

According to poll of 5,000 senior citizens the actor still the nation's top heart throb among 70 to 85 year old women

written by queen mudder, 25 August 2014
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Test results back on ultra-rare blue lobster caught off Maine Coast

Darned critter must have swallowed a helluva lot of Viagra to turn that shade

written by queen mudder, 25 August 2014
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Man has moth removed from rear where it buzzed for two weeks

Guess he must have been trying to sit the problem out before letting the docs in

written by queen mudder, 25 August 2014
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Wife of Scientology founder 'left $2.5M house to dog'

The Rev Rex Kennels said to be pleased as punch

written by queen mudder, 25 August 2014
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Chain, Chain, Chains!

Operation Yewtree officers investigating discovery of three old ladies found locked in the lavatory in Yeovil circa 1937!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 25 August 2014
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Headless chicken appears on internet!

A headless chicken has appeared on internet, they believe it is a Man U player running around in circles not knowing what the hell to do next! Double Dutch lessons needed!

written by Jaggedone, 25 August 2014
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Balotelli learns Scouse!

Italian rascal, super Mario, landed in Liverpool only to find nobody understands his Italio English! He is now taking lessons in 'scouse' because nobody understands what the hell he is doing there!

written by Jaggedone, 25 August 2014
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Angel lands in Manchester!

Argentinian Angel lands in Manchester as United fans hope for a miracle. City fans believe it is a "Fata Morgana" (I agree)

written by Jaggedone, 25 August 2014
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Sir Dicky Gone but not Forgotten

Nearly a million UK Freemasons are expected to hold a three minutes silence in honour of Sir Richard Attenborough who passed away today. J.K.Rowling will lay a wreath at his grave.

written by Auntie Matter, 25 August 2014
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25 Things you probably didn't know about Dickie Attenborough

1."He is no more", "has ceased to be", "bereft of life, he rests in peace"..............more, much later.

written by Herrdoktorfox, 25 August 2014
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Katie Price sheds skin

More soon...

written by Patrick Parkinson, 25 August 2014
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DEA Tightens Rule on Widely Prescribed Painkiller

Barmen no longer allowed to prescribe Kentucky bourbon to pain-in-the-ass customers

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Scientists say geckos rely on feet hairs and not insurance

Yep, Obama's Affordable Care act a total waste of time for geckos

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Pacific octopus hold egg-brooding record

Hopefully it can now be transferred to a CD after digitising process completed

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Colorado Medical Marijuana Business Facing Federal Hurdles

Whole State is too damned stoned to get it together to do stuff, man

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Academics and Archaeologists Strive to Save Syria's Vanishing Artefucts

Mostly alien images of Bashir Al Assad looted from Aleppo UFO hangar

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Breaking the Monkey-Suit Mold

Microbial scientists cock-a-hoop at smashing apart genome of penicillin-like fungus that plagues tuxedo wearers

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Barbara Bush Has Whippersnapper Beat Up By Secret Service

Former First Lady Barbara Bush had her Secret Servicemen pummel a lad who had the gall to say he thought her tomb at the George H.W. Bush Library was very nice and he hoped she got to use it soon.

written by Al N., 24 August 2014
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New evidence that millions of cows are living under East Coast sea

No other explanation for recent discovery that huge methane emissions have been found seeping from sea floor off the Carolinas

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Michelle Obama Picked Up For Spousal Abuse

In shocking news it was announced that First Lady Michelle Obama was picked up last night by Washington D.C. Police on one count of spousal abuse and one count of using an antique vase as a weapon.

written by Al N., 24 August 2014
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Cheap Viagra to be available on Obamacare

Discounted blue pills offered at 20 cents in time for the next US presidential erection

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Terrorists accused of 'hijacking' the ice bucket challenge

ISIS renegades post pics of 'waterboarding' indigenous Kurds amid serious drought in Bagdad.

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Loom bands tested for containing harmful levels of toxins

World Health Organization quacks admit nothing more sinister than cannabis, sperm and vodka traces found

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Iran left red faced after shooting down 'Israeli drone' at Natan nuclear site

Turns out it was nothing more sinister than a homing pigeon

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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China a step closer to developing supersonic submarine capable of 10mph cruising speed

What's kept them?

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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San Francisco earthquake: California Governor declares state emergency

The entire 2014 Turbo Bud marijuana harvest may have been destroyed

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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White House sorry for 'President Obama sending three White House officials to Chris Brown's funeral' story

Meant to say Michael Brown

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
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Superintendent Bends Girls Over

Superintendent Bass appeared at Noble High on Friday morning to perform a dress code check personally. Student Stephanie Stewart said the superintendent asked some girls to bend over.

written by Heeke, 24 August 2014
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Boehner Hits Obama For Bergdahl Swap

Boehner wanted Barack to trade Michelle Obama for Bergdahl stating that Michelle Obama would be a sizable punishment for taking Americans hostage.

written by Heeke, 24 August 2014
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Obama Names Tiger Woods Ambassador to Martha's Vineyard

The appointment is effective immediately, as intensive consultations with the new ambassador are needed now to deal with the most pressing international crisis: State of Obama's Addressing the Ball.

written by Trinculoman, 24 August 2014
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Protesters throw red paint over furry cat at Palladium

Flute the cat, who's life Andrew Lloyd Weber had based his hit musical on, was recovering today after anti fur protesters threw red paint at her during the celebrations of Cats's 1,000,000,000 show.

written by dr. john leslie breaknik, 23 August 2014
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Reward for Congress

As a reward for betraying the American people President Obama has built an all-expenses paid holiday resort for Congress in Denver.

written by Auntie Matter, 23 August 2014
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Gwyneth Paltrow Creates Organic Recipe Sensation & Innovative Pest Control

Celeb-flake and natural-bit-obsessed cook Paltrow multitasked in her latest recipe:Bedbug Bisque. Using the epidemic infestation of the crawly pests in NYC,she dumped some into a DDT-free cream base.

written by Trinculoman, 23 August 2014
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NYPD snorts of derision at latest drug story

Apparently a 'baffled' FIT student found10 pounds of coke in her luggage and voluntarily turned it in

written by queen mudder, 22 August 2014
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Dog News: Poodle in your kitchen pretty sure that sandwich you're making is for him

He's watching your every move, hoping for extra mayo and maybe some plain potato chips.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 22 August 2014
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Ukraine calls Russian aid convoy a 'fucking outrage'

Nothing but moldy cabbages, turnips and swedes inside the giant pantechnicons

written by queen mudder, 22 August 2014
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German guy erected over loud, squeaky sex swing

No, wait! Evicted!. Either way a kinky story

written by queen mudder, 22 August 2014
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Mystery solved why Rosie O'Donnell had no problem coming out

Builders installed a new six foot wide door at her apartment so she could finally squeeze her wobbly six foot wide ass

written by queen mudder, 22 August 2014
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Reid apologizes for being a racist

Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) told Asians he is sorry he's a racist after making offensive remarks about Chinese Americans and the Washington Redskins. "I was Wong," he admitted.

written by Gee Pee, 22 August 2014
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