Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Police Make Six Arrests After Separating Groups Of Skirmishing Unionist And independence Supporters In Glasgow

'The referendum has clearly honed the Scots' organisational skills,' said an observer. 'It's less than 24 hours after the vote, yet Glaswegians have already formed rival gangs and started fights.'

written by Swan Morrison, 20 September 2014
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Only 38% of Americans Can Name the 3 Branches of US Government

Recent poll results indicate vast majority of US citizens dumber than ever before. Cyber addicted, they flock to the latest Apple phones, seeking to redouse themselves in brain-dead video apps. Ugh!!

written by Trinculoman, 20 September 2014
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Queen striped searched at Scottish border.

The Queen on her way to Balmoral Castle was stopped by border Officials and made to strip because they had reason to believe she was in possession of Rhino horn. Buckingham palace declined to comment.

written by Glen Jacobs, 19 September 2014
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Cameron gives US all clear to Attack Scotland.

David Cameron Yesterday gave the US full backing to attack Scotland should ever oil be-found, and as a precaution sent warships to the area. Scottish MPs are furious and put troops on red alert.

written by Glen Jacobs, 19 September 2014
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Scottish refugees flood England. Salmond troops take to streets

1000's flee Scotland - Salmond orders personal army 'the Scotch Guard' to take to streets and beat up referendum NO voters. LATEST: Over 300 hospitalized-40 people attacked by Alex Salmond himself!

written by dr. john leslie breaknik, 19 September 2014
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France launches airstrike against ISIS (or ISIL)

France announced it has completed its first air strike against ISIS, or ISIL, or "somebody" in Iran, admitting pilots confused their target with Iraq and asked the Iranians' "pardon."

written by Gee Pee, 19 September 2014
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Roger Goodell's mixed signals: a double standard?

Pressured by women's rights groups, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said players may no longer "head-butt" their wives or girlfriends, but allowed the Cowboys' Michael Sam to butt-head his boyfriend.

written by Gee Pee, 19 September 2014
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Biden corrects the record (again)

VP Joe Biden says he "misspoke" when he characterized Jews as being "Shylocks." What he meant to say, he said, was "merciless moneylenders." He promises to be more "insensitive" in the future.

written by Gee Pee, 19 September 2014
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Scottish scholars explain Scotland's "no" vote

Political science professors in Scotland say voters said "no" to independence from England, Great Britain, and the United Kingdom because that's as close as voters could get to a "maybe someday" vote.

written by Gee Pee, 19 September 2014
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Scottish Referendum Highlights Lack Of People In Scotland

'I was astounded,' said a typical Englishman, 'that the population of Scotland numbers less than 70% of the population of Greater London. What was all the fuss about? There's hardly anyone there.'

written by Swan Morrison, 19 September 2014
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Plymouth University Has Agreed To Spend £150,000 On Seven Chairs For Graduation Ceremonies

'Some of the cost,' said Professor David Coslett, deputy vice chancellor, 'will pay for a PR consultant to try to avoid us looking ridiculous in these days of austerity and rising tuition fees.'

written by Swan Morrison, 19 September 2014
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"Salmond gutted" laughs Cameron after win

David Cameron said he is chuffed Scotland has decided to keep with the UK ... Then announced plans, that in Oct, England will be holding its own referendum on weather we want Scotland as a part of UK.

written by dr. john leslie breaknik, 19 September 2014
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Solksjaer Sacked by Vincent Tan's Cardiff

Baby-faced assassin assassinated by Bond villain

written by Talking Tic-Tacs, 18 September 2014
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Solksjaer 'Leaves' Cardiff City

Norwegian cites a "difference in philosophy over how to manage the club", with this philosophical difference coinciding with the team struggling to win a game

written by Talking Tic-Tacs, 18 September 2014
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September 19th Is 'International Talk Like A Pirate Day'

People throughout the world are being encouraged to use expressions such a 'Ahoy matey' and 'We're from Mogadishu, and we're taking control of this oil tanker.'

written by Swan Morrison, 18 September 2014
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"I Made Up Global Warming" Admits Gore

"I needed a new campaign hook and that bit about me inventing the Internet just wasn't going to fly so I just thought up that one," said Al Gore, Nobel Prize winner and former Vice-President.

written by Al N., 17 September 2014
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Scottish Climax

Yes, YES, YES. Better Together.

written by j.w., 17 September 2014
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Obama to deploy 3,000 doctors to combat ISIL

The United States announced on Tuesday it will send 3,000 doctors to help combat the Islamic terrorist group, ISIL, as part of a ramped-up plan, including a major deployment in Syria.

written by Moose, 16 September 2014
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Forgetful terrorist rushes to petrol station to buy last minute 9/11 anniversary present

more soon...

written by Patrick Parkinson, 16 September 2014
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Obama Discovers Daughters Dropped Out of School and Split

President Barack Obama was shocked to discover that his two daughters, Malia and Sasha, dropped out of school and moved to Canada a year ago.
"We just got tired of living in a fishbowl" they said.

written by Al N., 15 September 2014
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'ello 'ello, anyone there?

Phones4U have finally hung up.

written by Herrdoktorfox, 15 September 2014
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Alan Pardew: Newcastle manager backed by club owner Mike Ashley

David Moyes is expected to unveiled as the Magpies new boss on Wednesday.

written by John_L, 15 September 2014
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Daryl Hannah Breaks Up With Neil Young

I get confused sometimes but as soon as he started playing Heart of Gold instead of Sweet Caroline, I realized that I had gotten Neil Young and Neil Diamond mixed up," said Ms. Hannah on her break-up.

written by Al N., 13 September 2014
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Zombies Seize Golem Heights

Key Israeli garrisons in the Golem Heights have fallen to an army of zombies marching in from Har Megiddo, led by a badly decomposing Jew clad only in a loincloth and a crown of thorns.

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 13 September 2014
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Obama threatens to bomb Syria.

Vegas gives 13:1 odds on the E.U. just pussying out.

written by Kilroy, 12 September 2014
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Scottish Businesses Try To Sound Upbeat About A Possible 'Yes' Vote

'Independence could be good for Scotland,' said a spokesman for Scottish Industry, 'as long as the border could be moved closer to Thurso.'

written by Swan Morrison, 12 September 2014
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Protests At News That Just 3% of England's GCSE Papers Will Be Awarded The New Ultra-high Grade From 2017

'This is just another example of the exam system discriminating against the not-so-bright,' said a spokesman for the 'high grades for all' campaign.

written by Swan Morrison, 12 September 2014
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South Africa Pissed Off

As Oscar gets away with murder the South African public is throughly pissed off with Pistorfrious.
A clearer case of murder has seldom been seen, but a sporting decision has been made.

written by j.w., 12 September 2014
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Donald Trump and Dick Cheny Play Round of Golf, Both Claim Record Scores

Dick Cheney and Donald Trump both announced after their round of golf together that they each had shot an 18, a hole-in-one on every hole.

written by Al N., 12 September 2014
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New Charity Set Up to Help Street Workers

'Chugger Aid' - the new scheme for charity muggers has today been launched. Its aim is to help support the workers who tirelessly pester office workers on their lunch-breaks, on high street precincts.

written by Nate John Won, 11 September 2014
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Child porn suspect found living with 50 dead cats stuffed in freezer

Guess the guy must have really been into frigid pussy

written by queen mudder, 11 September 2014
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WTF 'Go inside a glacier and get up close with Alaskan wildlife' ??

Sarah Palin full of PMT again?

written by queen mudder, 11 September 2014
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Michael Moore calls Barack Obama a huge disappointment

Then promptly consoles himself by scoffing down six double cheeseburgers, three sodas, a quart of icecream, two Mars Bars and a packet of Hostess Twinkies. Ain't life sweet.

written by queen mudder, 11 September 2014
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Teacher asks sixth-graders to compare George W Bush to Hitler

Kids say Adolf a lot less of a scumbag than his grandson Dubya

written by queen mudder, 11 September 2014
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Ex-White House lawyer gets 15 years for spouse abuse

Pleads mitigation because George W bush's waterboarding program accidentally gave him ideas

written by queen mudder, 11 September 2014
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Ebola survivor's blood used to treat defective US doctor

Defective? Uh, maybe defected! Turns out the quack legged it to Russia years ago

written by queen mudder, 11 September 2014
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National Geographic Museum's giant water-living dinosaur unveiled

Damn critter was hiding behind a massive burkha

written by queen mudder, 11 September 2014
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Andrew Madoff left all his $16M fortune to family...

...of Siberian Mongoose who faced ruination following dad Bernie Madoff's crazy Russian wildlife escapade

written by queen mudder, 11 September 2014
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Schools Introduce Capital Punishment

Hanging will replace detention as the main form of punishment in schools across England and Wales from November as part of new tough measures to tackle disruptive pupils.

written by Darwin, 11 September 2014
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President Obama Announces Strategy To Combat ISIL

President Barack Obama announced his specific plans today to combat the Islamic State militant group. He reiterated that the United States would never comment on strategy, tactics or timetables.

written by Moose, 11 September 2014
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Justin Bieber to Strip for Charity

Justin Bieber, who recently stripped on national TV, continued his creepy new habit of taking his clothes off by announcing that he will strip for Eddie's Kids. Eddie is a top porn producer.

written by Al N., 10 September 2014
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Another One Caught on Tape

Pro Running Back Joe Brawn Caught Stuffing His Wife's Body in His Freezer; NFL League Officials Suspicious

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 10 September 2014
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Scottish independence: Queen 'above politics', Buckingham Palace says

However Prince Charles is not so will be sticking his nose in where it isn't wanted.

written by John_L, 10 September 2014
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Dawlish Mud And Straw House Collapses

A traditionally built house of compacted mud and straw has collapsed in a Devon town. The three pigs who own the property have blamed a big bad wolf. 'We'll use bricks next time,' they resolved.

written by Swan Morrison, 10 September 2014
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Taylor Swift and Katie Perry to Have Arena Battle to Settle Differences

Arch-rivals Taylor Swift and Katie Perry have only one thing they agree on-they love being the center of attention in large arenas. The "singers" announced that they would battle it out with a tour.

written by Al N., 10 September 2014
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President's ISIS Plan Is Top Video Game

Obama's ISIS plan to combat terrorism, while not lighting fires in Congress, has been adapted into a video game and IPhone application that has quickly become the most popular in the nation.

written by Al N., 09 September 2014
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"Make my day punk!"

Dirty Harry strikes again, Kate up the duff with Damien 2.

written by Herrdoktorfox, 08 September 2014
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UKIP Claims To Have Solved The Ripper Mystery Using DNA

A spokesman for the party said: "We can confirm that Jack the Ripper was a Polish immigrant proving that immigrants have always been bad and we need to get rid of them all."

written by John_L, 07 September 2014
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"'Ello, 'Ello I'm Johnny Cash"

Dyslexic Home Office Minister sends copy of Ring of Fire to Calais by mistake.

written by Herrdoktorfox, 07 September 2014
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Minogue bribery charges dropped.

After a long court battle, the bribery charges brought by a disabled police officer against Kylie Minogue have all been dropped. The officer involved when asked for comment ended up blowing a fuse.

written by erikals1, 07 September 2014
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