Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
John Walsh's PTSD doctor in plagiarism scandal
Army doctor filed the same medical review hundreds of times for soldiers looking to get tax free disability pay!
God Admits Fucking Up With Aubergine Creation.
A film crew filming near the top of Mount Sinai today received a new 11th Commandment.
11) Aubergines were meant to be large poisonous Australian fruit, but I fucked up. Please return them, thanks.
'Inverted Penis' Hailed As The Next London High Rise Structure Sensation
A penis with twelve scrotums on top is joining the Shard, Walkie Talkie and Cheesegrater on London's skyline. 'It expresses,' said its designer, 'the bollocks shaping London's new architecture.'
Mourinho reveals he is building Chelsea for decade of dominance
Bookmakers slash the odds on him being fired before Christmas.
Israel Supports Commonwealth Games Slogan
'Put Children First' the cry from Unicef for the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow is supported by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Nastyknowhow.
Microwave Attachment Eliminates Need For Head Shaving
Hyram B. Dison's invention, which eliminates daily head shaving, is now on sale. "Microcaps" use a microwave to defoliate scalps with a rubber skull attachment similar to ones used in electric chairs.
Russian Masochists On Wife Finding Excursions To Barnsley
Fed up with an abundance of domesticated eager to please potential wives, Russian Masochists are queueing up to meet battleaxes from the town of Wombwell near Barnsley.
Betty White Discovered in Decades Old Porno Film
Betty White was spotted in a bondage video from the late 1940s, having sex with 14 different men who are all begging to be released. The film was found in Ms. White's personal home movie collection.
Ukrainian Lard Arse Festival Takes Place As Normal In Spite Of Conflict
Ukrainians celebrated their love of pork fat at the weekend by consuming a giant sandwich filled with 40 kilos of best lard.
The big "lard-in" was the centrepiece of a nationwide big arse festival.
North Korea Threatens Global Nuclear Warfare if Their Team Not Allowed to Play Germany For World Cup Championship
Kim Jong-Un threatened to start a global thermonuclear war if the North Korean soccer team is not allowed to play Germany and "take their rightful place as the greatest soccer team ever!" spoke Kim.
Anyone for Tennis?
40,000 - love.
Government to use Jersey to stockpile Russian dolls.
David Cameron amidst fears Britain will stop trading with Russia is going to use Jersey to stockpile Russian dolls. Jersey citizens will be moved to Suffolk.
Eminent Authority Opines on Obama Administration "Transparency"
"The transparency of the Obama Administration is as pellucid as the pool of sludge at the bottom of an out house." M Voltaire
Terrorist Group Lived Next Door to Attacked Benghazi Consulate
Ansar al-Sharia, the killers of 4 Americans in Libya, lived openly next to the Benghazi site. Surely former Secy Clinton would now welcome to move in next her and Bubba in Georgetown in D.C.
British Spiders To Take Self Defence Lessons From Australian Spiders
British spiders who are mostly too timid to eat flies are ten times more confident after watching DVDs of Australian spiders according to a study by Sydney University spider faculty.
BBC Weather Forecaster Accused Of Bias
Weather Forecaster Jimmy Fish was hauled over the carpet today after stating yesterday that his predicted temperatures for the posh town of Bath were a little on the Conservative side.
Eminent Authority Opines on Hillary's Claim of Impoverishment
"Hillary Clinton claiming to be broke is like King Midas declaring himself to be homeless." M Voltaire
Eminent Authority Opines On US Dept of Justice Law Enforcement
"Law enforcement, as practiced by Eric Holder and his minions, is akin to Robespierre of the French Terror selecting guillotine victims capriciously at random with relish." M Voltaire
US State Dept Employs Notable Celebrity On A Critical Mission
Gaza-Frustrated by futile attempts to negotitate a cease-fire, Secy Kerry brought in Larry the Cable Guy to ingest garbonzo beans and exude gaseous vapors at both contesting parties till they desist.
Kim Jong-Un Attends Assertiveness Training Class
"I've staged public executions and threatened nuclear annihilation and I still get no respect! That's why I'm taking this assertiveness training class," the rotund dictator was overheard confessing.
Joe Biden Admits He Has Putin's Soul in a Jar at Home
Vice-President Biden admitted today that the reason he knew that Putin has no soul is that he once hired a voodoo priestess to capture it and put it in a cookie jar for him.
Scot's coffee is stronger than Italian!
Scientists have proven that Scottish coffee is stronger than Italian; aye laddie, just a wee dram!
North Korea claim second Malaysian Plane in 2014!
Kim Jong-Un has claimed a second success in 2014 ever since U Tube took the piss out of him by kidnapping one and giving Ukrainian separatists a rocket launching set to blow Malaysian plane away!
World Cup given to the Dutch!
Germany have been forced to hand over the World Cup to Holland because their ex-manager, LVG, insists that there was not one German playing and he's always right!
Dutch airliner ventures into German airspace!
A Dutch airliner was spotted flying over Germany today and survived the ordeal although they were warned about high-flying Germans flying high since they won the World Cup!
Syria call for a ceasefire!
Syria has decided to call it a day and offered their weapons to the Palestinians in an unprecedented show of Arabian solidarity. Hamas refused and declared war on the infidels; yet another one!
Heatwave melts Iceland!
An approaching heatwave melted Iceland, luckily their personnel escaped without being hit by a passing Iceberg!
Louis v Gaal fires Rooney!
Man Utd Dutch manager has fired Rooney because he earns 3 times as much and in Dutch tradition a subordinate can never earn more than the boss!
Israel claim Hamas have W'OMD
To back up their self-claimed rights to bomb the shit out of Palestinians, Israel have spotted Arabs bearing a WOMD, an 86 year old grandma was last seen flashing her bloomers at Israeli soldiers!
Not Enough Room To Swing A Cat
Did you know?
Manx cats have no tails. They were once used as a room "size gauge" by Estate Agents, who cruelly swung them around by their tails to measure rooms. Since then tails have been illegal.
Amazonian Tribes Making Blowpipes Out Of Old Bagpipes
Amazonian Bearded Pig huntng tribes are appealing for people to post old bagpipes to them. The pipes can be made into "sub machine gun " blow pipes firing 5 poisonous darts per second.
Royal Baby Fast Tracked To Cheer Everyone Up After Terrible Spell Of Bad News
A Royal Baby has been produced using accelerated "Dolly The Sheep" techniques. Silly smiles will be back on Newsreaders faces within a week after a month or more of frowns due to war and accidents.
The Ultimate Masonic Cover
Scientists at Washington University have invented an "invisible apron" for Free Masons. Only Masons will be able to see them. Pope Francis will be the first to get one.
Bush Receives Award
The Ciantology Award 2014 for "Most Honest Politician of the Decade" goes to George W. Bush.
'Democracy' on the March
Said President Obama at a recent press conference of selected newspapers. "There are nations in this world, and I don't just mean Britain, that need democracy. And by Jupiter!, I intend to see that they get it... whether they want it or not."
Satan Locked Up for Petty Theft
Satan, aka the Devil, was picked up and booked for petty theft from a Wal-Mart store yesterday.
"They used to just let me get away with it out of professional courtesy," snarled Satan.
Obama Crowned NWO's First Emperor
Barack Obama is to be crowned the New World Order's first emperor at a special ceremony to be conducted in private by Freemasons at the Federal Reserve Bank, New York. Pope Francis has been invited.
Doctor found in uk with readable handwriting
A Doctor has been found in the UK who has actually got handwriting you are able to understand. DR Harrison a GP in Scunthorpe Lincolnshire was unavailable to comment.
Putin Put In Pickle
Crane give Russian Leader a hefty peck on the cheek.
Fifa tells Google they cannot bid to be World cup hosts.
Google's chances of hosting a world cup have been scuppered after Fifa tells them they are not actually a country. Google plans to take there case to the high Court.
Ciantology Award 2014
This years Ciantology Award for Ego-Surrender goes to actor Tom Cruise. "I always knew I'd win it," said he. "My thanks to Ron Hubbard and Satan."
School Children will be able to cane there teacher by 2016
School Children in the UK will soon be able to cane there teachers if they see a deterioration in behaviour from 2016.
Headmasters are said to welcome the idea.
Deadly form of Tumbleweed racing across dilapidated Spanish Timeshares
Deserted Spanish beaches and Timeshare ghost towns are being plagued by horrific high speed tumbleweed, which has claimed many lives, according to Manuel, our Barcelona correspondent.
A "charity tax" law has been passed by the US Congress. People donating to charities will now be expected to pay a fee of 15% of their donation to government... "to help finance the war on terrorism", said a spokesman.
Sarah Palin says Obama Should Be Impeached for Laziness
In her most recent criticism of the President, Sarah Palin called for Obama to be impeached for being lazy. She also said that if his ancestors had been that lazy they would have been whipped.
Putin Tells Obama Where He Can Put His Sanctions
Putin, leader of Russia, has just used every curse word known to Russia to describe what Obama could do with his sanctions, reports Tass News Agency.
Area of "Tranquility" in Obama Administration Located
WashDC- WHouse Press Secy's reference to "tranquility" in the world has been identified by NSA-scanners. "Tranquil" zone exists only in Obama's brain in its total obliviousness to actual world events.
Mad Spoof Editor Attempts to Lock Out Writers!
Marrk Blowton, Editor of the Spoof has once again attacked his writers and locked them out of the Writer's Lounge in London, "Tis just a temporary set-back, til I figures how t kill them," says Marrk.
Gift for Obama
Chinese artist Wei Wei known to his friends as Wei Wei-A-Ton has sent one of his art pieces to Barack Obama. Titled 'TERRORISM', it is a simple
Freedom of Speech ROCKS!
I try to remember that every time someone calls me an asshole or threatens to poison my dog