Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Navy commissions U.S.S. Donald J. Trump
A very shallow draft vessel that carries several tons of baggage, it's an old design that tends to list severly to the right and is virtually unsteerable.
New Yorkers Now Say "Take a Trump" Instead of "Take a Dump"
They also say things like "This place is a Trump!"
Tom Cruise's Body Thetans Return and Disable His Leg
"I'm pretty sure once I take the next OT level the body thetans will be gone for good!" said Cruise.
Pigeons In Uproar Over Loss of Statues
The recent nationwide spree of removing public monuments has resulted in an upheaval among the so called 'rats with wings' as they attempt to cling to structures that no longer exist.
Trump Adopts 2020 Campaign Slogan
Let's Make America O-KKK Again!
Trump Says Obama and Hillary Tricked Donald Trump, Jr. Into Releasing Incriminating E-Mails
"I got disguised, got him drunk, and then hypnotized him to make his e-mails public." said Hillary.
Bozo T. Clown Fired as Trump Press Secretary
After only 48 hours as Press Sec., Mr. Clown was fired by Trump for "inappropriate working attire."
Queen Decides She Will Skip Over Prince William and Make Prince George the Next King
"I figured, if we are going to go for a younger king, let's go all the way!" said the Queen.
Guam Preemptively Surrenders To North Korea in Response to Nuclear Threats
"Would you trust someone like Trump whose never heard of you to defend you?" asked the head of Guam.
Trump Calls Palace of Versailles "A Real Dump"
"I just like to be at home in my NY penthouse or at my own golf course, courtesy of the taxpayers!"
President Trump Locks Eric Trump in the Tower of Trump Tower
"Eric broke and admitted to the press that he helped fund my campaign with charity money. Too weak!"
Keep your pistol in your pocket during kinky sex!
UK sexual psychologists are telling lovers of kinky sex to keep their "pistols" in their pockets and not stick it in where the sun never shines OUCH!
Kim Jong Un Admits Why He's Testing More Rockets
He is tired of being upstaged by President Trump.
China Demands US Solves Its Canada Problem
"It's only fair if we fix your North Korea problem for you," says President Xi Jinping.
Celebrity Divas Bring Law Suit Against White House
They are suing for damages due to lost press over past year.
Trump Presidency Reality Show Cancelled
After about six months it started getting too repetitious.
Viewers complained of too many firings,
too many tweets, and not enough real action.
Chief of Staff Kelly Solves White House Problems
By Finding On/Off Switch and Rebooting System
North Korea Invaded By Zombies
A rookie U.S. drone spy was convinced by the dead-eye stares and stagger-stepping, that zombies had taken over the malnourished, rubbish country.
'Nope, them's just regular folks!' told his captain.
666 - Isn't Just The Devil's Number
It's the address for the 5th Ave. property Jared Kushner purchased and needed a bailout. When Qatar said NO to a half billion dollar loan, the bloc against Qatar developed. A peacemaker? Still 666.
God, Man, and Environment at UCLA
The UCLA Summer Band will perform at noon Friday on the steps of Kerckhoff Hall. Featured selections will be Martin Luther's "A Mighty Forest is Our God" and "The Deflater Mouse" by Strauss.
Goat gives birth to Arab after THIS happens
Due to the flagrantly graphic beastiality photographed in this story, it is suggested you read the entire article at once, unless of course it is censored in your country!
Congress To Secretly Vote On Secret Voting
GOP committee plans to pass legislation making votes by its' members to be done by secret ballot."That way we can do away with all of the constant complaints from the public about who voted for what."
Putin and Trump Might Be Breaking Up
It always comes down to the 'S' word-SANCTIONS! Will Kim Jong-Un mediate the fight?
Trump Breaks His Promise To LGBT Community When He Finds Out What the Initials Stand For
"Transgender? I didn't know that was in there! We can't have that in the military!" said Trump.
Trump Bans Transgender from Military
Trump Tower, NYC. In announcing his anti-transgender policy for the armed forces today, President Trump proclaimed: "There are no transgenders in foxholes."
Ralph E. Shaffer
Elton John Foils Princess Di Body Exhumation and Theft
Sir Elton John stopped Diana's grave-robbers by singing "England's Rose" over and over.
Trump Says No Transgender People In Military
Trump says transgender people will not be allowed in the military. No offense to transgender people, but isn't Trump the most transgender looking president ever?
Trump Sends Secret Service to Walter Reed Hospital to Find the Gang of Green
"I just saw somewhere that someone there died because of gang of green. We're on it!" said Trump.
Brit boozing, binge drinking UK birds die earlier!
Scientists discovered that Brit female binge drinkers die earlier than their European counterparts, WHY? Easy; UK booze due to Brexit will now become 35% more expensive! That's enough to kill anybody!
Melania Trump Gets Lost on Her Way to the White House and Ends Up in Paris
But she did locate a new wardrobe, which will make being First Lady so much easier!
Trump Tweets that He's Afraid Obama or Crooked Hillary Will Screw up the Eclipse
Trump promised that he would make sure the eclipse happens.
Irish eyes were not smiling on this cheap flight!
Scottish bagpipe playing granny upsets Irish eyes on cheap Irish flight from Belgium to the UK. She blasted out Scottish traditional songs on board, was ejected, and told, "Fack Brexit, we're Irish!"
Kellyanne Conway con exposed
She is positioning for a satire job with SNL
Farage's fishy fugu facts!
Nigel Farage stinks, and now he's backing a campaign to reduce fish loving Eastern European immigrants in the UK by slipping a fugu or 2 between sushi rice snacks or is this a red herring?
The Trump Jr. Russia Meeting Like Night At The Opera
The Trump Jr. meeting appears to resemble the stateroom scene from the Marx brothers film, A Night At The Opera. Everyone was there except the cast from Hamilton.
Brazilian GREEN puppy is an alien!
A golden retriever that gave birth to a GREEN puppy is not its real mum, an alien is! A UFO was seen flying over Brazil as dad did it doggy style! Now we all know Martians exist because dogs do too!
From Secret Service to Leaky Service
The Secret Service has announced they are changing names. "Its true," said a spokesman." POTUS has a prostate problem, we spend a large portion of time securing bathrooms, sometimes he leaks"
Trump Finally Confesses
A tearful president Trump finally confessed: "It's not real hair, stated the POTUS, its banana flavored cotton candy" POTUS stated he lost his real hair in a tragic blow dryer accident.
Due to government budget cuts NASA announced plans for their next excursion. "We are going to the Seattle Space Needle, its cheaper than outer space" stated director Jim Beam.
Tweeting Out of Your Ass
idiom. Used to describe what President Trump does early in the morning when he should be devoting his time to mastering complex domestic and foreign policy issues.
Morning Joe and Mika Disappear
"They probably just had plastic surgery and now no one can recognize them," said Trump.
UK schoolboys wearing skirts!
The heatwave brings the weirdest out of people and schoolboys wearing schoolgirls skirts is weird, but then again, at least they aint big girl's blouses! Free the COJONES!
Scottish Man Misses Cat
Angus McFarland told his girlfriend he hated her fluffy cat from day one... but now admits he actually does miss Mr. Muggles-a little bit. And he swears he never saw him sleeping in the driveway.
Trump Refutes 'The Wheel'
After trashing free-speech and the planet's need for oxygen, Trump says he's not so sure that the wheel was such a great idea. 'And what's the big friggin' deal about fire, huh?' he also snorted.
UK Police officer takes the biscuit!
The UK police force has taken the biscuit because a police officer nicked a biscuit and now he's been taken off the beat for a year! Crumbs!
Pelosi now has major competition for Queen of Cuts and Not So Good Paste Jobs
Pelosi is revving up plans for more mug slits'n'glues, cuz Mika Brzezinski has gained the edge in the title for Queen of Cuts and Not So Good Face Paste Jobs. Both have emptied Amazon of clay stock.
One of Trump's Childhood Babysitters Will Be Head of the Department of Homeland Security
"I always felt safe whenever she was the babysitter" spoke Trump.
An Indian Moo!
Indian holy cows are more important than women and here is the proof: Moo in Indian translated to English = AMEN!
Trump Accidentally Tweets Into the 6th Dimension
After they had an argument with Trump, we are now caught up in an inter-dimensional war with them!
Zombies for Hillary Face Off Against GOP Invasion of the Body Slammers
The two diseases, rarely seen in modern times, are spreading due to low vaccination rates as the ability of US citizens to think critically has declined.