Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Message To Marco Rubio:


If you wish to express the incompetence of the President, you must express it in a competent way.

written by K.C. Bell, 09 February 2016
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Home Secretary, Theresa May, Again Stresses The Urgent Need For Her To Easily Access Any Internet Account

Westminster sources confirm that she has not yet found the piece of paper that listed her passwords.

written by Swan Morrison, 09 February 2016
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Indian Lawyer, Chandan Kumar Sing, Attempts To Sue God in Indian Court

'Yesterday, I was caught in a violent monsoon thunderstorm,' he told reporters, 'As a result, I now intend to file a further complaint for witness intimidation.'

written by Swan Morrison, 09 February 2016
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Jeremy Corbyn Provides More Detail Of His Position On Trident

'We'll keep the submarines,' he explained to reporters, 'but scrap the nuclear weapons. Instead we'll paint LET'S BE REASONABLE LADS on the side of each vessel in Russian, Chinese, Korean and Arabic.'

written by Swan Morrison, 09 February 2016
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Police Consider Using Condors To Catch Criminals

Following plans by the Metropolitan Police to use eagles to catch drones, condors are being trialled to spot criminals and fly them to police stations. 'Birds are the new dogs,' said a Met spokesman.

written by Swan Morrison, 08 February 2016
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It had to happen sooner or later!

Mark, prestigious editor of the infamous The Spoof, has been removed in a straight jacket after writers discovered he had his marbles crossed and wires loose; maybe it's better that way!

written by Jaggedone, 08 February 2016
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Conspiracy Theorists Raise Concerns About Astronaut Deaths

'Only those who were said to have walked on the moon know the truth about faked moon landings,'said a typical conspiracy theorist. 'With the passing of Edgar Mitchell, six have now mysteriously died.'

written by Swan Morrison, 06 February 2016
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Assange to go free.

Teenage girls in West Kesington warned to lock themselves in their rooms.

written by John_L, 05 February 2016
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UN Rules in Favour of Assange's Release

Justice Lowell Goddard heading the Jimmy Savile inquiry has congratulated the UN on the speed with which it arrived at the conclusion that Mr. Assange should never have been confined.

written by Auntie Matter, 04 February 2016
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Jaggedone's new newsflashes from under his grubby overcoat!

Politicians, footballers, Justin Bieber, etc, are shaking in their boots hoping that Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) does not feature them! Wicked bastard!

written by Jaggedone, 03 February 2016
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Somalia discovers latest exterminating machine!

A plane with a hole in its side landed at Mogadishu airport! 60 passengers were onboard at takeoff and 0 left at landing! The plane is called "Arbeit Macht Frei" ISIS has ordered a fleet of 100!

written by Jaggedone, 02 February 2016
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Valizadeh's Mother Raped

Daryush Valizadeh's mother was yesterday drugged and raped by three men. Said Mr. Valizadeh. "I am just so happy it took place on private property. What a relief!"

written by Auntie Matter, 01 February 2016
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Trump has no need of prayer . . .

. . . says he can talk to himself anytime he wants to.

written by The Ruling Authority, 01 February 2016
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Hurricane Heading for Britain

Hurricane "Stars and Stripes" heading East to hoover Gt. Britain. Royal Family moved to Australia.

written by Auntie Matter, 01 February 2016
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Bill Gates on Desert Island Discs!

Bill Gates appears on BBC 4's Jurassic radio programme, Desert Island Discs divulging his top 10 fav discs and a special one is; I am the Walrus - Apple Record dedicated to Steve Jobs, say's it all!

written by Jaggedone, 31 January 2016
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Duke of Edinburgh asks, "Is it Christmas Yet?"

Phil the Greek hit the headlines again when told he'd missed Christmas this year, flew into a rage for not getting reminded and threw his mug of Bovril at a footman.

written by fredflange, 28 January 2016
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Lloyds Bank Sold

J.P.Morgan Chase Co. has bought Britain's Lloyd's bank for an undisclosed sum. Interest rates expected to rise. The NWO marches on.

written by Auntie Matter, 28 January 2016
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Jimmy Savile Inquiry to Drag On...and On...and On...

Judge Lowell Goddard chairing the Savile inquiry has announced that the case will drag on for another 4 years so that high ranking suspects can get a chance to die off.

written by Auntie Matter, 28 January 2016
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Now for the Attic Tax

UK: Following the "bedroom tax" comes the "attic tax". Anyone living in a house with an attic will have their welfare benefit cut by 10%.

written by Auntie Matter, 27 January 2016
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Will he or won't he??

King Louis van Gaal has created a Dutch Dilemma at Manchester United, will he retire or not? The great debate. He was last seen kicking up daisies in his Portugal residence, maybe that's the clue!

written by Jaggedone, 26 January 2016
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"Revenant" to be Made Into Musical.

The film Revenant starring Leonardo DiCaprio is to be made into a musical, renamed "Robinson Crusoe on Ice"

written by Auntie Matter, 24 January 2016
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Hidden Driveway

I'm always flummoxed by signs that read "Hidden Driveway."

If you went to all that trouble to hide your driveway, why announce its whereabouts with a sign?

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 24 January 2016
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Egypt Museum Staff Face Trial Over Botched Repair To Tutankhamun's Mysteriously Damaged Beard

'It's lucky they never noticed the rip in the shroud of Rameses II,' said an anonymous member of the museum staff. 'That got torn at the same fancy dress party.'

written by Swan Morrison, 24 January 2016
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HMRC Sends Jolly Nice Thank You Letter To Google

'We wanted to thank Google ever so much for thinking of us and using their valuable time to pay a bit of UK tax.' said Damian Hinds MP, Exchequer Secretary to the Treasury. 'It was very kind of them.'

written by Swan Morrison, 23 January 2016
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Future Superstorm, "SnoWallopAlooza", Shuts Down East Coast

A MONSTER storm that might pack blizzard conditions spun by the elite East-Coast media will, hopefully, live up to the hype, but New York City and Washington DC shut down anyway.

written by Moose, 21 January 2016
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Education Secretary Champions A Diversity Of Sporting Opportunities For Young People In Schools

'Athletics teaches young people about drugs,' Nicky Morgan told UK Sport representatives, 'tennis informs them about bribery, and football allows exploration of corporate corruption.'

written by Swan Morrison, 19 January 2016
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Negative Reviews for Mad Mad Fury Road More Entertaining Than Movie

Truckload full of mothers' milk driving fast through desert not that compelling, actually.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 19 January 2016
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Jimmy Savile Case Closed

Scotland Yard have announced that the Savile Inquiry is closed. Said Chief Super Justin Thyme; "Now that the main suspects have at last died off we have no further need for it. Rule Britannia!"

written by Auntie Matter, 18 January 2016
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'Yes, Prime Minister' to be shown to all MPs.

The classic comedy 'Yes Minister' and 'Yes, Prime Minister' is to be shown to all MPs. This after in the space of a week both Cameron and Corbyn stole comic policies from it for their own.

written by John_L, 17 January 2016
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Airport Surveillance to Tighten Up

Internal organs removal now compulsory at all European and American airports.

written by Auntie Matter, 16 January 2016
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Moonwalking! No English Spacewalking!

Brit astronaut, Tim Peake, walking in space decided to show off and do a version of Whacko Jacko's, Moonwalking! Houston were not pleased so they told Tim either come back in or go to hell in heaven!

written by Jaggedone, 15 January 2016
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British Astronaut Tim Peake cuts Spacewalk short.

The tea delivery system built into his spacesuit didn't work correctly and he refused to carry on work with out a decent tea break.

written by John_L, 15 January 2016
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Yosemite park plans to change some ironic names

The National Park Service announced today that it was changing the names of The Redskin hotel, Jungle Bunny Village and other beloved park sites.

written by Moose, 14 January 2016
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Cameron And Hunt Dismayed At Failure Of Their Honesty And Sincerity Impersonations

'They tried their best to pretend to look honest and sincere when claiming that junior doctors were being unreasonable,' said a Downing Street source, 'but sadly the public just aren't that gullible.'

written by Swan Morrison, 13 January 2016
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EPA Formally Declares Clouds a Dangerous Pollutant

The declaration came after a new study indicated that clouds are melting the Greenland Ice Sheet.

written by Moose, 13 January 2016
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PM pays tribute to rock legend

"I was saddened to hear of the death of iconic Rock Legend, Lemmy Bowie," explained the PM "I have fond memories of listening to his track The Ace of Space Oddity"

written by I think I'm funny..., 11 January 2016
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Chaps will be Chapo's!

Notorious prison breaker, El Chapo, and Sean Penn, naughty chap, met before El Chapo was captured, but he assured Sean, "see you soon the boy's are already digging" Sean will play El Chapo soon!

written by Jaggedone, 11 January 2016
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Merkel's reassures the public

Merkel's response to the outrage over the refugees who had molested the women in Cologne on NYE for not being doctors: "They were the gynaecologists"

written by Sandy Limestone, 11 January 2016
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Angie Merkel naked! How horrific!

In solidarity with the Cologne sex attack victims, Angela Merkel will stand naked under the Cologne Dome hoping this action will put off sex attackers forever! She has a point!

written by Jaggedone, 09 January 2016
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Competition Hots Up For Most Inventive Way To Resign From Shadow Cabinet

Following Stephen Doughty's resignation on live TV, it is rumoured that another shadow minister plans to hire a plane to tow a banner across the London sky that reads "You're insane, Corbyn. I Quit!"

written by Swan Morrison, 09 January 2016
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Thousands Of Hewlett Packard Printer Ink Cartridges Washed Up On British and European Beaches

'They were lost at sea last year,' said a spokesman for HP. 'Fortunately, despite their ridiculous retail cost, they contain virtually no ink and so the environmental consequences should be minimal.'

written by Swan Morrison, 08 January 2016
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How do you pick a candidate . . .

. . . for what is perhaps the worst job in the nation, when actually wanting the job may be the major disqualification for getting it?

written by The Ruling Authority, 08 January 2016
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Kim Jong un is just so Bombastic!

North Korean nutter, Kim Jong un, scared the shit out of the world by supposedly testing H bombs, however, he claims that Tom Jones's "Sex Bomb" is to blame because he feels it's a blast!

written by Jaggedone, 06 January 2016
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Dakota Johnson slams Ageism, applauds Nepotism in Hollywood

On Tuesday, Dakota Johnson called Hollywood out on not casting actresses like her mother Melanie Griffith, but applauded their hiring of the daughters of existing celebrities like Melanie Griffith.

written by Ben Erwin, 06 January 2016
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Erskine Quint goes to Hollywood!

Erskine goes to Hollywood, but not in a gay way, however Frankie did!!

written by Jaggedone, 05 January 2016
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Labour Reshuffle

Jeremy Corbyn replaces entire Shadow Cabinet with Bobble Head dolls made in his own image.

written by John_L, 05 January 2016
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Donald Trump To Wear Monica Lewinsky's Blue Dress For All Remaining Debates

He will also wear it during the Presidential debate with Hillary Clinton, if he wins the Republican nomination.

written by Moose, 03 January 2016
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Othering

Other Othered from Support Group Forms Another Other Support Group

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 01 January 2016
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Democrat Presidential candidate, Senator Bernie Sanders proposed a maximum wage of $16 per hour.

In addition, Senator Sanders supports a minimum wage of $15 per hour.

written by Moose, 01 January 2016
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Jeremy Corbyn awarded knighthood in New Years Honours.

Corbyn was given the award for his services to the Tory Party, by making Labour an unelectable joke his leadership guarantees the Conservatives a permanent majority in the Commons.

written by John_L, 31 December 2015
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