Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

written by Auntie Matter, 19 October 2014
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Xander Harris arrested in Boise, ID

Self-described "vampire slayer wannabe" Xander Harris was arrested in a Boise hotel lobby for trying to "stake" guests while babbling "incoherently" about someone named Buffy who, "told me to do it."

written by Gee Pee, 19 October 2014
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Jennifer Aniston: "I was up to the job"

Before she became famous as the Girl Next Door Who Is Most Likely To, actress Jennifer Aniston earned her living servicing johns. "The porcelain ones," she clarified, "not the horny kind."

written by Gee Pee, 19 October 2014
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Democratic National Committee chair predicts "landslide victory"

DNC chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz predicts a "landslide victory" in next month's midterm elections. "The Republicans are going to win big time!" she said.

written by Gee Pee, 19 October 2014
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Police baffled by mysterious find

Police searching for a missing woman found the remains of a human female that closely resemble her. Mystified, the head of the Missing Persons Bureau admits, "Now, we don't know what to do."

written by Gee Pee, 19 October 2014
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Cruise ship Ebola free--this time

A health worker who potentially put the 4,000 passengers aboard a Carousel Cruise Lines ship at risk for Ebola tested negative. "Next time," she said, "I will try harder."

written by Gee Pee, 19 October 2014
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European Tectonic Plates

The Massif Central Mountain Range of France is eroding at a rate of 190% per month. The National Geographic Society says this is probably a factual error, but don't really care.

written by Ella Davide, 18 October 2014
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Not True That the Vice President's Son Was Kicked Out of Navy

Hunter Biden, Vice-President Joe Biden's youngest son, was not dishonorably discharged from the Navy due to taking cocaine. It was because he quit because of the low quality of the drugs, said Biden.

written by Al N., 17 October 2014
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Catholic Archbishop Smith Of Southwark Commissions Investigation Into Former Head Of The Arundel And Brighton Diocese

'Bishop Kieran Conry has admitted to a legal, heterosexual relationship with a consenting adult woman,' said Archbishop Peter Smith. 'We see this as a huge leap forward for the Catholic Church.'

written by Swan Morrison, 17 October 2014
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Obummer's latest Ebola "protocol"

Reacting to criticism of his administration's handling of the Ebola crisis, Obummer has announced plans to dispatch "swat teams" armed with flyswatters to combat the disease wherever it next appears.

written by Gee Pee, 16 October 2014
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Bill Murray to Do a Sequel to Groundhog Day: Bill Murray to Do a Sequel to Groundhog Day

Bill Murray has announced that he will do a sequel to Groundhog's Day. Bill Murray has announced that he will do a sequel to Groundhog's Day.

written by Al N., 15 October 2014
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Runaway teens want to come home after joining ISIS

Two Austrian teenage girls who left home to join ISIS want to return home. "Beheading people isn't as fun as we thought it would be," one whined. "It's messy," the other agreed, "and sort of gross."

written by Gee Pee, 14 October 2014
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Martha Stewart on Gweneth Paltrow's need to change lifestyle brand name

After visiting Gweneth Paltrow's lifestyle advice blog, Goop, Martha Stewart advised her would-be competitor to rename it. "A more fitting title," Stewart fumed, "would be Poop."

written by Gee Pee, 14 October 2014
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Obama Importing Deadly Communicable Diseases

BREAKING NEWS! President Obama has decided to import deadly communicable diseases for the purpose of population control.

written by Cal Jennings, 14 October 2014
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Leaders react to plan for Election debate.

Little Ed Milipeed has shite himself..again.
Clegghorn-Foghorn has booked three weeks in the Sychelles.
Do-nothing-Dave has placed an order with Pampers.
Nasty Nigel ordered 24 crates of real ale!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 13 October 2014
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Colony of venomous spiders 'drives NYC first family from home'

No wonder Bill de Blasio's family moved to the official mayoral residency, Gracie Mansion, pity the poor tenants now living in his infested Park Slope house

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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Coast Guard checking JFK for Ebola

Fears the dead president's coffin is leeching the virus a big concer say Feds

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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Top admin tangled in Catholic school sex scandal stripped of athletic duties

No more playing Blind Man's Buff in the showers with the girls

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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Putin ready to break out the blow torch and rave

Next month's freebasing and crack cocaine party at the Kremlin will his first since rehab

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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Susan Sarandon breaks silence on 18 year-old boyfriend

He has the most advanced lingual muscles - uh, skills! - I've ever encountered the 69 year-old scraggy couger said today

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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Bianca Jagger launches new online charity auction

Pics show she's flogging off loads of dreary old tat to fund her flagging human frights foundation.

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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UKIP Celebrates Another Constiuency Victory

Glastonbury- Nigel Farrage touted the victory for UKIP here. Newly elected MP Arthur Pendragon CBE will represent this constituency in the battle against the cozy cartel of elite front benchers.

written by Trinculoman, 11 October 2014
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Gweneth Paltrow orgasms upon meeting Obummer

At a fund raiser, "actress" Gweneth Paltrow told President Obummer, "You're so handsome; I wish I were 162 million people, so my love for you could offset your negative ratings among other Americans!"

written by Gee Pee, 10 October 2014
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Supreme Court says it's okay to be gay

The US Supreme Court has decreed that Americans have the right to be gay. The Constitution, they ruled, implies this, just as it does rights to abortion, Obamacare, and anything else politicians want.

written by Gee Pee, 10 October 2014
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CNN layoffs loom

Unable to compete with Fox News, CNN has announced the layoff of its news crews. "From now on," owner Ted Turner says, "we just do human interest stuff and other fluff."

written by Gee Pee, 10 October 2014
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League: Kaepernick's behavior "sexist"

49er's quarterback Colin Rand Kaepernick was "reprimanded" and "fined" for wearing pink Beats headphones in support of the NFL's "Love the Boobies" breast cancer awareness campaign.

written by Gee Pee, 10 October 2014
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'There Are Too Many Foreigners In France,' Says French President Nicolas Sarkozy

'We've bin sayin' that for years,' agreed a typical English tourist. 'For a start, it's full of the French.'

written by Swan Morrison, 09 October 2014
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The writing is on the wall

Cave art dating back 40,000 million years discovered......'Dave is a wanker!'

written by Herrdoktorfox, 08 October 2014
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BBC receives Eastenders Furniture Complaint

The Kitchen Table on which Linda Carter was raped speaks out, claiming that Dean later returned and varnished it's surface without consent before promising that he wouldn't tell

written by OurManPLA, 08 October 2014
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Ebola 'Spread Through Telepathy'

Experts claim that merely thinking about the virus can trigger an epidemic

written by OurManPLA, 08 October 2014
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Clarkson Second Number Plate Revealed As Name Badge

The sign, which reads BE11 END, was initially thought to be another numberplate

written by OurManPLA, 08 October 2014
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Stephen Collins was 'just kidding'

Outrage as the star appears to claim his activities weren't serious

written by OurManPLA, 08 October 2014
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US airports may add extra Ebola screaming says government

Uh, screening! Sorry guys.

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Lab-grown penises soon ready for testing on human males

Heterosexuals ONLY may apply

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Food that taxpayers are buying me really sucks says 560 pound sex offender

Folks keep bringing up food that makes me vomit says the guy, maybe they think they're enabling some sort of chromic bulimic?

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Brit pleads not guilty to hiring hitman to kill wife on South Afriican honeymoon

Not guilty, your honor, it was never supposed to happen on honeymoon, just what kinda guy do you take me for?

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Supreme Court rejects appeals from five states to prohibit gay marriage

You just gotta give gay divorce lawyers a chance to earn some decent dough days senior SCOTUS judge

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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NYC-born scientist wins Nobel Prize for discovering brain's 'VHS'

Apparently internal lymbic system has been hiding a primitive video home system in some sort of unexplor d internal crevice, duh!

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Spanish nurse with Ebola is first to contract virus outside Texas

Lone Star State becoming a third world pandemic hub

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Ex-CIA Director says Obama 'lost his way' on national security

...the day he pulled that fast one about the Long Form birth certificate, heheh

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Congresswoman Janice Hahn (D-Calif) wants Bratton to whip Secret Service into shape

Expect a VIP invite to her subterranean dungeon any day now to learn some awesome BDSM skills first hand

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Four year-old hands out 250 heroin baggies at daycare

Entrepreneurial start to a budding career in the recreational sector

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Chef who 'Killed, cooked and ate' his transgender wife 'might have had a dark side'

No kidding, you serious??

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Lion says he was stampeded by herd of raging wildebeests

Sues wildlife reserve for endangering his animal frights

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Dog of a nurse with Ebola to be euthanized

Just WHO you calling a dog says Nurse?

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Twitter sues FBI, DOJ to release government surveillance files

Deposition claims secret 'closed circuit' microblogging sites operated by the Pentagon are poaching millions of users from the site

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Woman sues DEA for 'spoofing' her as Farcebook dope dealer

Says drug agency geeks were so smashed on crystal meth they incorrectly dubbed her the weed queen of Colorado...despite living thosands of miles away in Joshua Tree, Ca.

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Train carrying crude oil derails and bursts into flames

Luddites behind Keystone oil pipeline ban pissing themselves for saying it could never happen

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2014
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Wonga.com accidentally gave customer good deal.

An inquiry has begun at Uk's biggest online moneylenders after a customer was accidently given a good deal on a loan. Director Ray Self stated the problem has been fixed and rip off rates are back.

written by Glen Jacobs, 07 October 2014
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God jokingly telling everyone who asks to run for 2016 GOP nomination

As He has done in past elections, God shows his sense of humor in his support of presidential candidates. "Late night tv comedians really depend on my endorsements", He said with a laugh.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 07 October 2014
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