Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Park keeper mauled by tiger in new terror attack
First a soldier, then a plane - now al-Queda have utilised Sumatran tigers to spread fear and panic in the UK. Authorities are putting everyone in the country on alert about threats from everything.
Barack Obama Resigns as USA president
Last night,the president of the United States of America Barack Obama resigned for unknown reason's according to CNN News.His replacement might be actor Morgan Freeman or NBA star Kobe Bryant.
Dont Forget to #Hashtag
DES MOINES-Students at the University of Des Moines are developing a new technology to let you search old spoken conversations, so don't forget to hashtag anything you say!
#DesMoines #Search #Tech
Just Like Peanut Butter and Jelly
Doctor's in California now say that there could be a direct correlation between the high gasoline prices and high blood pressure.
The iTwins Are Cute As Can Be
A young married couple in Phoenix is being criticized for naming their twins iPad and iPod.
A Drone Plane Oops Moment
Reports are that a drone plane has mysteriously crash landed right in the middle of a famous Nevada nudist colony.
The GOP May Be Heading Into The Sunset
Republican strategists say the problem with the GOP is the GOP designation (Grand Old Party). So they've suggested that it be changed to GNP, (Grand New Party) in order to attract the younger voters
Hey, A Girl's Gotta Eat
A secret tunnel has been discovered underneath Kirstie Alley's home that reportedly leads right to a supermarket.
The Silver Screen President
The details are still somewhat sketchy but it looks like President Obama could be appearing in George Clooney's next action-packed motion picture Strike Force Eagle Bravo 1.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger - Maria Shriver Buzz
Arnold Schwarzenegger has said that he would be willing to take Maria Shriver back just as long as once in a while she agrees to dress up as a maid.
Oprah Winfrey's Very Unusual Bathrooms
Oprah Winfrey is so rich, she has ATM's in each one of her bathrooms.
Bruce Jenner Says He's Run Out of Rope
Bruce Jenner, who is married to the Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner, has stated that he will probably be leaving her because he can no longer stand the smell of fakeness.
Ke$ha's Strange Beverage
Ke$ha recently made headlines when she appeared on her reality show Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life, and drank her own #1. When asked about it she said she did it to win a $45 bet.
Germany knocked off the top by North Korea!
Germany nearly made it to the top of the global pop pops but were narrowly beaten by North Korea to the Nr 1 spot. Merkel is to blame because she can't sing and Kim Jong Un can, can!
Statistically Significant
6 out of every 10 Americans say that they don't take part in surveys.
Google Glasses require a warning
All wearers of Google glasses will be required to wear a badge in future that reads: "This conversation will be recorded for training purposes."
Cameron relived by Terrorist attack
It means that the news of his capitulation on Corporation Tax after Google threaten to pull their £4.5m donation from the Tories.
Iron Manifold
SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" wasn't written for the film series.
Hurricane hits Warsaw and kills nobody!
Hurricane Erskine hit Warsaw over the weekend and the only casualty was a naked couple seen copulating on their balcony blowing and sucking in the wind!
Abbreviation Conference
Ths yrs conf on Abbrs & TxtSpk will B held at G-Mex M/c. Attnd's shd arv 30mins b4 drs open 2 Nsure a gd seat.
Atos Canonised
Atos, the French company tasked with assessing Britain's disabled people has been canonised, after announcing that 30,000 previously disabled people can now walk. That's a better return than Jesus.
Mobile phones reunited with 'tele'
As from next year, mobile phones will have to be referred as mobile telephones in all advertising and documentation due to an EU ruling. This follows the decision to reassign the word wireless to radios.
Chelsea Flower Show lifts ban on Gnomes
William Hague finally able to attend.
Tories Apologise To Mental Health Organisations Over Use Of Stigmatising Language
'Our activists should not be described as "mad, swivel-eyed loons",' said a spokesman, 'but rather as people with severe mental health problems who experience ocular complications.'
Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast
Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.
Vegans boycotting breasts
Vegans new initiative is to with-hold breastfeeding practices of new moms. Mother's milk is a animal product, therefore, all mothers must refrain from lactating to keep in tradition of a vegan diet.
History of Cross Dressing - part 1
Cross dressing in ancient times, before the invention of gender specific clothing, mainly involved shaving off the beard. This was considered a perversion by those who liked facial hair.
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Achieves Orgasm
Ultra-Conservative Arizona Governor Jan Brewer says she achieved an orgasm last night as she was listening to Rush Limbaugh. "I really enjoyed it", Brewer stated.
Retirement 'Harmful To Health' Says The Institute For Economic Affairs (IEA)
'Also, poverty is healthy, but voting UKIP causes fatal illnesses,' said Mark Littlewood, IEA Director. 'The IEA is independent,' he added, 'we never manipulate public opinion to government agendas.'
News to hand
Mr Nigel Crackenthorpe of Lentle Lane Wandsworth has finally worked out how to enter his two bedroom home. He unlocked the front door and walked in. He now will work out how to get out again. Serious.
Poets to be deported
Budding poets are to be rounded up and excised from the general population in a PR move by the British government. "Yes, they will be shipped to South Georgia" said a spokesperson for David Cameron.
Hitler's love child
A Latvian bus driver has confessed to being the love child of Adolf Hitler and Marlene Dietrich. "Ya, I'm the one and only" he cried. The man has been detained in a psychiatric facility for some time.
Oh, to be in England...now that summer is here!
Snow in May: White stuff hits parts of UK.....meanwhile, the brown stuff continues to hit everywhere else!
Gone but not forgotten.
Brad Pitt 'Emotional' about Angelina Jolie's Mastectomy...as are we all cobber...as are we all!
King of the bungle?
Safari guide filmed charging towards elephant, obviously Irish.
"You can tell by the way I'm outta work...but its alright!"
HSBC warns 14,000 more job cuts likely....soon they'll be turning job centres into night clubs due to record memberships.
David Cameron Defects To The Liberal Democrats
'I am sick of dogmatic, inflexible, self-serving, right wing views in the Conservative party that are out of touch with the electorate and reality,' he told reporters. 'I agree with Nick.'
"What, no flamin' Cornetto's!"
Marks & Spencers poaches Spaniard for key womanswear post....Juan Sheet told reporters he was pleased to leave the towels behind!
Charles' bravure on show
In a bold move, HRH Prince Charles has agreed to substitute the royal flag flying atop Buckingham Palace with himself in a PR exercise unequalled in history. He will be in a harness the complete time
"The Codfather!"
A record-breaking 103lb cod has been caught in Norway. Harry Ramsden's Chip shop is hoping that the male monster fish will provide up to 200 meals. It has been mistakenly called the mother of all cod.
Rooney Retires!
Wayne Rooney has been taking lessons from Gazza and reading George Best's biography before he starts his new career as an ex-soccer super-star alcoholic; there is nothing else after United, ask Alex!
"Stone me cobber!"
Iran hit by 6.2 magnitude earthquake.....how would they ever know....it could be an annual stoning festival?
Woman Buried Alive 17 days in Bangladesh Found Alive, Told to Get Back to Work.
"That's what passes for vacation over here but it still beats a Carnival Cruise," she told the press.
Surgical breakthrough
A Swedish surgeon has made history today when he attached a penis to a patient's skull. "Yes, this is the first true dickhead!" declared the doctor. Assholes are now lining up for similar teatment.
Ferg 's role change
Sir Alex Ferguson has announced today that he will quit Manchester United to embrace a role as a female impersonator at a local strip club. His wife is well pleased he's "got a real job now."
Season amalgamation
With the weather set to continue cold, the British Met Office have announced plans to merge Britain's seasons into two. "These will be called 'Winter'," said Michael Fish, "and 'Green Winter'."
Moyes successor named
With Moyes set to take over at United, Everton have announced his replacement, as an elderly Scot who recently announced his retirement. The fans are not happy about the appointment of Gordon Brown.
Nuclear threat
Authorities are pursuing a man who is believed to be in possession of a thermo nuclear device he constructed with material bought on internet. Police are looking (extremley large explosion is heard)
Cameron first victim of immigration changes
British PM David Cameron is understood to have been deported under new immigration laws passed recently. Cameron's great great uncle came here illegally from Germany so Dave has to wear it for him.