Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Trump Tweets That Global Warming is Hillary and Obama's Fault
"Once we recognize the REAL culprits behind global warming the sooner we can move on" tweeted Trump.
Trump Visits Great Wall of China, Suggests They Install Solar Panels
"The Mexicans want us to put my Trumpco Solar Panels on their wall" claimed Trump.
Trump Bans Guns for Democrats
"Democrats will want to use guns once they see the programs we have planned," admitted Trump.
Trump to Ban Periodic Table of Elements
"Everyone wants to have an element named Trumpium, and until there is, the table is tabled!" -Trump
Trump Bans Ghettos
"I think all the poverty, the crime and drug dealing is in the ghetto so we are banning ghettos."
A non-wanking website is gaining in popularity and is offering males, not females, how not to become a 'Tosser'! Sadly BOJO failed miserably after ignoring their advice!
Chinese toothpick plague!
Chinese kids have caused a dental plague in China by shooting used toothpicks with toothpick crossbows! The disease is spreading rapidly because Chinese adults cannot pick their teeth anymore!
Comey Firing Blamed on Auto-Correct
"I couldn't allow some commie to lead the Feral Burro of Instigation!" tweeted El Bendejo in all caps.
D List Comedian Kathy Griffin Finds New Gig in Remote Venue
Griffin scored what looks like a perma-gig in Nontetepapandia- former French African colony. Kathster will serve,Salome-like, as slave to the King, serving up roasted heads for court consumption.
Trump Denies Existence of Comey Tapes
"Who uses tapes any more?" he asked. "USB sticks are where it's at!"
Bees instead of sex on the backseat of your Nissan!
Coitus interruptus took on a new meaning as a swarm of honey making bees annexed the backseat of a Nissan in Hull. Normally "bees knees" sex is sweet but; making both can be a sticky experience!
Trump Says He Will Re-Join the Paris Climate Control Agreement on One Condition
"When it is renamed the Trump Climate Control Agreement, the U.S. will join again," said Trump.
May is hung without her balls!
May is not a replica of Maggie because Maggie had balls, Theresa's are hung, drawn, quartered and sucked dry by a bunch of DUP's!
Woman with 10,000 Piercings Says She's Bored
Jennifer Hole lives up to her name. She has 10,000 holes which she has placed in her body over the years to be exact. She says that over the years, she has become increasingly bored.
Green immigrant with a work visa sues for discrimination
A green space visitor with no experience nor college is suing a major corporation over an alleged racist remark made during a job interview. The company said the applicant was too green for the job.
Science Doesn't Have Enough Experience to Predict Global Warming Says Trump
"Superstition has been around much longer and has been doing a great job for centuries" said Trump."
Eric Trump Says Democrats Are "Not Real People"
"If they were real people, they would know, stealing from children's cancer charities is expected!"
Teresa May is currently in talks with Channel Four about a presenting gig on The Great British Bake Off. She wants to give a strong and stable foundation to the show's soggy bottom.
No, anyone but Boris
Boris Johnson was early seen on a zip-wire, heading into an open window at Buckingham Palace, to put his own ideas about a new government to the Queen.
Trump Wants to Negotiate Treaties Via Twitter
The finished product will be called a "tweaty"
Repercussions in the Twitter Battle Between the Lord Mayor of London and Trump
The World got together and decided to establish the Twitter Patrol.
Changing Of The (mobile phone) Card
Mobile phones in most villages in the Carlisle area are to be replaced with smoke signals as Brexit takes a full tight grip
Writers in Chester are to be prosecuted for grammatical errors found in news spoofs,.
Cows storm ATM in Lancashire!
Roger Ailes Starts New Network in Hell
Satan is pleased and Roger gets to audition all the women for the pornography!
Journalists Calling Kim Jong-Un Smarter than Trump
"At least they still want clean air..." said reporters as U.S. withdraws from Paris Accord.
Trump Found Asleep at Wheel of Presidency
After a long overseas trip he needed a rest...
Donald Trump Voted 'Least Likely To Succeed' At NATO Meeting
In 2017 Yearbook of attendees Trump was first unanimous winner in that category. It's believed he voted without bothering to read ballot. France's Marcon and Germany's Merkel awarded 'Cutest Couple'
Trump Thinks Ben Franklin Was A President
The phrase is Dead Presidents and he's the only one I ever see except Presidents Jackson & Hamilton.
Trump Pushes God Out of the Way to Get to the Pope
God was silent. He just pulled a red notebook out of his back pocket and made a few notations.
Melania Trump Pulls Out Knife When Donald Tries to Hold Her Hand
Everyone within hearing range heard her say, "Do it again and I'll cut you!"
Pink Loses Suit Against Manufacturer of "Lick Pink" Gear
"You can't complain about a parody that associates your brand with a sexual act if your brand is already named 'Like Pink,'" said the judge in the case.
No fun being a burger bun on the buses!
UK buses are banning burgers and their owners from boarding! Obese munching burger people take up too many seats and skinnies are being squeezed on to bikes! Terrible for the economy!
Roger Ailes Arrives in Hell
"You're here for starting a polarizing fake news station AND the sexual harassment" spoke Satan.
Anthony's Weiner Gets Him in Trouble Again
Hopefully, 2 to 3 years imprisoned with other sex offenders will make him think about it next time.
World Trembles as Trump Travels
"Meeting with Muslim, Jewish, and Catholic leaders-it's a recipe for disaster!" said everybody.
Harry Potter Republicans Gather Together to Save Trump from Witch Hunt
We are the best witch hunt protection Trump can get!
Trump is Reportedly Holed Up in a Bunker in a Hidden Location
Forsaking his tour, as most of the countries have cancelled him, Trump says he is under attack.
Brazilian President, the Estate of Chris Cornell & Bill Cosby All to Sue Trump
"So, nobody can find out anything if it isn't about Trump. He has narcistically hijacked the news."
Donald Trump's Presidential Museum Set To Be Located At Amusement Park
Coney Island, the iconic amusement park in Brooklyn N.Y, will house a kiosk with a collection of scraps of paper, napkins, crayons and other articles used by Mr. Trump to formulate his decisions.
Thousands Of NHS Patient Files Lost
When asked if this had rested from a new cyber attack, an NHS spokesman reassured reporters that such misplacement of notes was an entirely normal, every day occurrence.
Snowflake: A term used to describe anyone complaining about President Trump, used primarily by those who spent the previous eight years whining about President Obama.
The Yankees retired Derek Jeter's number this weekend. The Mets only had Sandy Alderson's IQ score to work with.
Trump Goes on Firing Spree and Fires New President of France
Also, Steve Colbert, Bill Maher, Meryl Streep, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, & the CEO of Nordstrom.
Americans Can't Tell the Difference Between a Trump Speech and an SNL Skit
But luckily Apple is working on an app for that.
James Comey will now leverage his prosecutorial acumen on TV
Ex-FBI Director Comey will appear on NoCrimeTV. A preview of his 1st show indicates he will explain how Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin, and the 911 Hijackers were not guilty of crimes due to lack of intent.
Trump Names Bill O'Reilly to Department of Sexual Harassment
Other members and experts in the department include Roger Ailes, Bill Cosby, Sean Hannity, & Trump.
Trump Claims That He Invented the Phrase "Prime the Pump"
Another phrase Trump invented is'stupid is as stupid does.' He also invented the word 'moron.'
Trump Says Firing FBI Director Had Nothing to Do With FBI's Investigation of Trump
"President Trump has found someone that will be hugely good as FBI Director" said Trump flunkies.