Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Donald Trump to Appear on America's Got Talent
Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump announced today that he will appear on NBC's 'America's Got Talent' in the upcoming fall season.
Eat The Rich
MPs want to bring back fox hunting. So they can get in practice for when they chase the greatest game of all. The poor
Scientists have found sharks that live in a "active underground volcano" or as I call it "Bond villain HQ"
Robbie Williams has apologised for boozy Brits holidaying in Spain. So I'll take this chance to apologise for Robbie Williams
One Direction are to pursue solo projects. So instead of one terrible album were getting five. Hang on....lads get back together!
Two drunk Man United fans were arrested on Wednesday. Sources say they were talking about winning the Champions league
The MOD have spent "£2million" on parties in the last year! Celebrating the success of Iraq, Libya and Afghanistan I presume
Malaysian Protesters Demand PM's Resignation..
..............send them over here and with luck we can get rid of Do-nothing-Dave!
X-Factor opening edition down 1million viewers compared to 2014.
....keep up the good work and this crap could sink like the Titanic within weeks
L.A.P.D Weighs in on Jenner's Transformation
"Bruce Jenner drove like a prick," said a police spokesman. " Caitlyn drives like a cunt. Any questions?"
Corbyn's Coffee Cup Sold On eBay For £51
Camerons underpants struggling at .99p or 'Buy it now' 50p
Miley Cyrus comes out as media whore
Although we have all known it for years the former Hannah Montana star today confirmed that she was indeed a media whore willing to do anything and everything to get column inches.
Do-nothing-Dave to emigrate to Australia to avoid worsening migrant crisis
..........begins surf board training while on holiday in Cornwall.
Blue Balls Creamey Introduces Second New Ice Cream Flavor
Blue Balls Creamery has released the name of the second flavor to be released when the ice cream goes back on store shelves: Mysteria.
In response to consumer demand, Uber now offers uberDREAM
Uber has just released uberDREAM, which allows you to request a ride in your sleep. Despite strong interest prior to its release, Uber has complained that no one has used it to request a ride.
Facebook launches new family proximity app.
Facebook on Monday unveiled a new app which alerts users to family members and spouses located within 100 yards, encouraging them to start a conversation or even a relationship.
Trump Involved In Bribing Scandal
Presidential hopeful Donald Trump was caught bribing himself in order to gain influence in political affairs.
Trump states "Kim Jong-Un" is Just Like Me
Donald Trump is proud to be compared with Kim Jong-Un, leader of North Korea. "He doesn't want short people with accents crossing over his border either."
Trump trades places with North Korea's Leader
While visiting North Korea to play golf with Kim Jong-Un, Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un devise a plan to trade places as a "joke." They both make pouty faces and throw tantrums when no one notices.
Emperor Invites CBS's '60 Minutes' to Tour of His Sanctum Sanctorum
Barack I hosted 60min simperers on a tour of his shrine to dictators, proudly showing a lock of Hitler's hair, Mussolini's scalp wax, and one of Hugo Chavez's colostomy bags.All were prostrate in awe.
Clinton and Trump Plan For the Future Post-16 Election
NY Squib.com reports The Donald and Hill are jointly collaborating on a book titled "Prevaricating to Bamboozle Dumb-Cluck Yahoos for Fun and Profit."Based on polls to date, future sales are assured.
Post GOP Debate Rand Paul Is Engaged in Doing What He Loves
Aided by Chris Christie during the GOP debate, Rand Paul is now pursuing his passion and has turned it into an entrepreneurial venture. He's now blowing hot air into Hot Air balloons for profit,
21-year old Sleeps Thru Planet Pluto Breakthrough
A 21-year old man just woke up after a month of sleeping. "Yo, that mudderfuckin' dog keeps popping up everywhere. What's he so famous for?"
Thank heavens there's not another K in KK!
Kim Kardashian is missing a K and if she had another one that would be real news, but sadly she only has a Big B and 2 huge BB's and her dad is jealous!
Donald Trump says 'diamonds are a girl's best friend' -
"Whenever I have lady problems, I go right to the jeweler and buy diamonds. Even though Megyn Kelly's married, I should've bought her a rock. Dag nab! Now I want to throw one at her!"
Donald Trump's ratings go higher with every insane rant & insult -
"I never knew politics was so much fun. I can hardly wait to get to the White House, walk into the kitchen, and yell at the kitchen staff - 'You're fired!'"
Donald Trump insists his hair is real and not a toupe' -
"It's mine, it's all mine...My parents left me with really great hair roots and a quarter of a gawdzillion buckeroos. I've galvanized their money and it went right to my head!"
The Republican Party hates Donald Trump -
And the feeling's mutual. The wannabes and hacks have been trumped by a real blabbermouth with the spine of a coast-to-coast railroad! It's not the caboose, but the engine that'll run you over.
Megyn Kelly is very upset with Donald Trump's debate reactions --
Now, now, cupcake...Did you really expect The Donald to be suave and debonair when you acted like a witch on wheels? Do filthy rich guys or Fox blabbermouths get their wealth from such attributes?
Donald Trump says "Puerto Ricans are his least favorite Mexicans" -
And he still insists he'll win the Hispanic vote. Even if you covered that mop with a sombrero until voting day, you won't get one Latino vote, gringo!
Will Donald Trump run as an Independent?
Maybe. Maybe not. At this point, even the Independents (there's not really such a party, is there?) just want him to go away. Mars would be good. Uranus better.
Donald is a lame duck!
The US have chosen their next president because they've had enough of lame ducks and prefer a hard-nut pussy!
Trump Fires Hairstylist
"You're fired!" Donald Trump bellowed to his personal hairstylist yesterday.
"It's about frickin' time!" muttered the FuxNews reporter who's been following him like a lost puppy all week.
Trump Buried in Heaps of Ties and Colorful Socks
With only a few hours until the much-anticipated debate, Donald Trump appears indecisive about what outfit to wear. "There are piles of clothes thrown everywhere," stated his aide nervously.
Premiership starts with a massive hangover!
Not only binging Premier Clubs throwing millions out of the window have a hangover, players do too. Angel (well he thinks he is) Di Maria had a stinking hangover in Manchester and went AWOL, ARSEHOLE
Joe Biden enters race
Joe Biden confirmed a run for the White House. He said the main reason was sexism against Hillary. "It's sad you know, some people just couldn't stand to see a broad in the White House"
Seagulls NOT involved
The demises of several small dogs have involved natural causes and no seagulls were involved, say under - employed
sea- side cops.
The infamous congregation mistakenly installed a large anus with a breast pump attached to it, instead of a fountain. Pastor has commented, "now God hates us!" 5 Members burned themselves alive.
Hair to Trump - "You're Fired!"
After deep reflection, Donald Trump's hair has decided to part ways with the candidate most commonly known for his inappropriate comments on immigrants. According to records, his hair is Latino.
John Boehner Admits: I Am a Woman!
John Boehner today admitted what many have suspected for years, he has a vagina. "I have wanted to bring out the truth for so long said Joan through his tears, now I can cry and nave mascara run!
Grumpy Trumpy made quite a squall,
Grumpy Trumpy had a great fall.
All of Ailes' minions and all of Ailes' pundits
Couldn't put his Party together again.
Pirates' Cruise Ship Snack Attack
A motley crew of swashbuckling pirates commandeered a luxury cruise ship off the coast of Somalia and demanded 10 million dollars until the buccaneers dined in the cafeteria and died of food poisoning
Snippets on Sale Again
Okay our last sale was so popular we ran clean out of snippets. So now were going to offer a buy-back program. 100 snippets for the price of 1, that's our final offer. Don't be shy watch them fly!
F1 Women Drivers...Tut!
Dizzy blonde F1 driver Maria de Villota recalls she crashed hitting a tree. "It wasn't my fault" sha said "I beeped the horn!". Villota has since secured a job as a lollipop woman on a one way street.
It's a Shame about Shane
The anniversary of 80's TV star Paul Shane who died last year was celebrated today. Buried 80ft in the ground; the vicar asked attendees 'How Hi di hi?'. the mourners replying 'Very Low di Low'.
Bond Bound and Gagged
World famous secret agent James Bond took full responsibility for the fall of the British Empire. His ostentatious acts of sexual depravity, and indiscretions lead to the fall of Western democracies.
Chris Christi Licks Sickness
As a result of an intensive three-year psychological reconditioning program under the supervision of Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee, Chris Christi is almost completely cured of his homosexual disease
Self Righteous Wing Extremism
From the summit of Mt. Appalachia with arms raised skyward in a flagrant display of pompous pride and pretentiousness, self-ordained Pope Rick Santorum decreed that he and only he is holier than thou.
US Victim of OPEC Coup
In a sneakily sinister scheme the Oil Pumping Evil Countries (OPEC) dropped the price of crude oil to two cents per barrel, then conquered the US when consumers choked to death from car exhaust fumes.
Mike Huckabee Sees God
GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee (Huckleberry Finn's illegitimate great grandson), claimed to be god almighty, swearing, "May god strike me dead if I'm lying". He hasn't been seen ever since.