Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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BBC confirms there will be weather

Bank Holiday or not.

written by Ella Davide, 03 May 2015
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David Cameron Sleeps Out.

For the election David Cameron has spent a night among the outcasts in Hyde Park. "Now I know wha they go through," said he. "All I could think of was the champagne breakfast I had lined up for when I got back home,"

written by Auntie Matter, 03 May 2015
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New Jersey Gov Has New Promotion Gig

Chris Christie was named by the American Lard Assn as their new spokesperson. Lard Ass President Bud Gristel named the Gov after learning that Christie's favorite book is The Count of Mounds of Crisco

written by Trinculoman, 01 May 2015
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Scientists Discover Why men Cheat.

Scientists have discovered why so many men cheat on their partners: (1) Sex. (2) More sex. (3) More exciting sex.

written by Auntie Matter, 30 April 2015
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Bernie Sanders Is Running for President of The People's Republic of Amerika

Senator Bernie Sanders will seek the Democratic Party's nomination for President of The People's Republic of Amerika.

written by Moose, 30 April 2015
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Obama Announces Free Ice Cream for Low-Income Children

President Obama will go to one of Washington's poorest neighborhoods to talk about a plan to give low-income children free ice cream.

written by Moose, 30 April 2015
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Blue Balls

This nurse checking a patient on oxygen asked her if his testicles were black and after checking him said no your testicles are not black.When he pulls his mask off and says"Are my test results back?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 29 April 2015
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Word Etymology #2

Fundamentalist
from the Latin 'fundament',meaning buttocks and 'ist', meaning 'one who thinks with'.

written by The Ruling Authority, 29 April 2015
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Verdict Out on Casual Vacancy BBC Series.

Hiram Abiff Pike, editor of the Sunday Times declares Rowling's "Casual Vacancy", "the best TV production ever" from his Lodge in Central London.

written by Auntie Matter, 29 April 2015
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Tuna company in hot water after worker cooked alive in six tons of fish

Let that be a karmic warning to other fishy-sounding people like Scots Nationalists Alex Salmond and Nicola Sturgeon!

written by queen mudder, 28 April 2015
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Miss Piggy wins Brooklyn Museum award for porcine-faced women

Says she owes everything to her doppelgänger role model Chelsea Clinton

written by queen mudder, 28 April 2015
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Bill Clinton heads to Africa as foundation screwtinized

Bill and Hill's lousy slush fund rapidly going down the pan

written by queen mudder, 28 April 2015
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Saudi Arabia thwarts attack on US Embassy, arrests 93 terrist suspects

Mossad responds saying it all bears the hallmark of a classic Saudi inside job

written by queen mudder, 28 April 2015
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Nigerian Army Rescues 200 Girls, 93 Women From Forest

That's Nottingham Forest football match where the silly dears had taken refuge following a Notts City 5-nil drubbing last weekend.

written by queen mudder, 28 April 2015
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Pot Used As Contraceptive!

Matt Kroner, 22, a Senior at Duke, read in one of his Medical Journals that pot can decrease your sperm count by 50%. Matt has now found his college thesis and is actively seeking other participants!

written by Paul Blake, 28 April 2015
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Obama Blames Climate Change for Racial Unrest

Climate change "is not a problem for another generation," President Obama said Wednesday during an Earth Day address in Baltimore. "This is a problem now."

written by Moose, 28 April 2015
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Bruce Jenner's Transformation Nearly Complete

Bruce Jenner plans to complete his transformation into a woman by dumping "his" Republican Party and becoming a full blown, bleeding-heart liberal.

written by Moose, 28 April 2015
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Bush Patents Go On

Subsequent to patenting the phrase "New World Order", the Bush family have now patented "9/11". Any use thereof without permission is now "actionable" state their lawyers Schillings of London.

written by Auntie Matter, 28 April 2015
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Ferguson Won't Be Out-Rioted!

Only hours after riots broke out on the streets of Baltimore, Ferguson, Missouri residents retaliated with their own riot, burning just one more cop car than the competition to regain the title.

written by Paul Blake, 28 April 2015
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Ed Miliband pledges to top himself if Labour win.

Please form an orderly queue and mark your 'x' clearly in the correct box, "ey thank you!"

written by Herrdoktorfox, 27 April 2015
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President Obama Issues Executive Order, Combining ATF, USDA, GMOs and Climate Change

President Obama issued an executive order today, directing the ATF, USDA, GMOs and Climate Change to be combined into one department (FAT ASS).

written by Moose, 27 April 2015
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Election Defeat is ultimate Zero Hours Contract

say three unemployed Prime Ministers.

written by Ella Davide, 27 April 2015
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Chipoltes Bans Employees From Getting Inoculated

Chipoltes's Co-Chief Executive Officer, Monte Moron, announced today that Chipoltes will no longer employ anyone who has been inoculated.

written by Moose, 27 April 2015
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Rubio To Gay Republicans "I Would Eat A Ball Off Of A Penis Shaped Wedding Cake At A Lesbian Wedding Ceremony"

Miami, FL - Courting gay "log cabin" Republicans, Marco Rubio, who just days earlier said he would attend a gay wedding, today said he would happily eat a testicle from a penis shaped wedding cake.

written by Jason Half-Pillow, 27 April 2015
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Most Scots Rooting For The Other Side In The General Election - Survey

Every Scot worth an ounce of salted porridge is looking forward to cheering on England's opponents in a packed public house on election day, according to a survey. Whiskey pre-orders have tripled.

written by Auntie Jean, 27 April 2015
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Thomas The Tank Engine Loves Bon Jovi

The Island Of Sodor, UK - In a rare but enthusiastic interview, Thomas the Thank Engine admitted that Bon Jovi's music inspires him, when he and the gang are working hard all day, down by the docks.

written by Paul Blake, 27 April 2015
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House of Lords chef tried to blow up a petrol station blames terrorist TV show

I was trying to flambe a joint of mutton, M'Lud, according to Halal principles of the Jihadi Cook Book

written by queen mudder, 26 April 2015
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Original Whitney Houston Lyrics Found

Who knew? Whitney's 1985 Smash Hit, 'Saving All My Love For You,' was originally penned for a porno flick. The original lyrics appear to have been, 'Shaving All My Muff For You.'

written by Paul Blake, 26 April 2015
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Scientists Discover Early Man Was Stupid and Ugly

We have long suspected the ugly part but became sure of the stupid part when we discovered an early skeleton with a harelip and carrying a Chia Pet.

written by Al N., 25 April 2015
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Tom Cruise and John Travolta Quit Scamatology to Become Mormons

"Ya, like I was like totally blown away you know man by the magic tablets" said John Travolta, while Tom Cruise just grinned and said "Two words. Mormon Underwear."

written by Al N., 25 April 2015
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Isle Of Wight To Become Psytrance "Ibiza" For 65 - 70s

It's goodbye Glen Miller and hello Psytrance, as the Isle of Wight shifts its target holiday age from 80 - 90 year olds down to 65 to 70 walking frame "Psytrancers" starting in 2016, says Promo Dept.

written by Auntie Jean, 25 April 2015
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iToons Shows Apple Logo Biting Android Robot in Crotch

In an apparent act of retaliation, Apple's iToons website displayed the Aaple logo biting the Android robot in the groin area.

written by Moose, 24 April 2015
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Migrants Killed By Train In Canyon

Certainly not their lucky week!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 24 April 2015
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New Study Concludes That Semen Prevents Breast Cancer

A new study, released Wednesday, has concluded that semen, consumed orally, prevents breast cancer. The study was issued by the National Foundation for Men.

written by Moose, 24 April 2015
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News Media Will Only Report on Women Not Raped by Cosby

There are now so many Bill Cosby rape accusers that a new one is no longer news; what is news is a woman he hasn't drugged or raped.

written by Al N., 24 April 2015
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Prince George mutilates Toy Dragon

'It shows his prodigious Historical Awareness', say Court Spokespeople, or 'grovellers', in Commoner's Speak.

written by Ella Davide, 23 April 2015
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President Obama Orders National Weather Service to Build Climatron

President Barack Obama issued an Executive Order Tuesday, directing the National Weather Service to build the Climatron.

written by Moose, 22 April 2015
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NYC Mayor de Blasio 'aims to reduce waist' by 3 million tons by 2030

Gets sympathy note from New Jersey Governor Chris Christie suggesting more modest goal of five inches off the hips before 2016

written by queen mudder, 22 April 2015
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Driver makes statement after car crashes through bank window in Manhattan

Says he was just returning their lousy wheels after bank's repo man sent confiscation order

written by queen mudder, 22 April 2015
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Topless? They'd be 'headless' in downtown Aleppo, Syria

Jihadis respond to 'Topless women posing with underage kids in Times Square' headlines in New York Toast

written by queen mudder, 22 April 2015
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Extremist thwarts own deadly attack after accidentally shhoting himself in the foot

Best news counter-terror cops have heard all week

written by queen mudder, 22 April 2015
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Hahaha, you is toast!

Sign seen on radioactive-themed drone found on Japanese PM's office roof

written by queen mudder, 22 April 2015
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Shipwreck's 170-year-old champagne tastes like 'wet bear' says oenophile

Not sure if that's 'grizzly', 'panda' or 'bi-polar', you need to be an expert in the field to be 100% sure in such matters

written by queen mudder, 22 April 2015
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Lousy customer service payback?

Woman sentenced for shooting at McDonald's that twice forgot to put bacon in her Fatburger

written by queen mudder, 22 April 2015
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GOP presidential wannabe Marco Rubio reaches out to gay conservatives

At least that's his excuse for getting caught in a clinch with Tom Cruise!

written by queen mudder, 22 April 2015
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Bourbon theft ring networked at mothball games?

Correction! make that softball games!

written by queen mudder, 22 April 2015
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Sheepdog drives tractor on motorway!

A sheepdog was seen driving a tractor down the M74 and it's owner was also seen barking at his herd, they ignored him of course, the farmer not the dog!

written by Jaggedone, 22 April 2015
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President Obama Proposes Building 10,000 Mile Dike To Protect USA From Climate Change

This morning, President Obama proposed utilizing the USA's military to build a dike around the lower 48 states, combating climate change.

written by Moose, 22 April 2015
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Republicans Send Letter to Iran Telling Them Obama Sleeps With a Night Light

The Republicans sent a letter to the Iranians reminding them not to make any deals with Obama since he'll be out of office soon and because he used to wet the bed and still sleeps with a night light.

written by Al N., 20 April 2015
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Republicans Reveal They Have Evidence Obama is Stockpiling WMDs

Dick Cheney revealed that the Republican Party has proof that Obama is stockpiling weapons of mass destruction and the army should be called in to invade the White House.

written by Al N., 20 April 2015
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