Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Kim Jong un Has His Computer Gold Plated
Kim Jong un's fantastic incredibly fast and up to date Commodore 64 computer has been gold plated and encrusted with diamonds to make it the best computer in the world.
Barack I Now Wants to Be Addressed With a New Moniker
WashDC: Emperor Barack I has issued an imperial order that all courtiers and palace plebs shall now address him as: His Excellent Cubaness "Che-Fidelio". The Secret Service scrambled to update codes.
Clooney mistaken for crew in Downton cock - up
An admin oversight led George Clooney to be listed as a 'runner', in the 'Downton Abbey' Christmas Episode Credits. The credit doesn't even get his name right, listing him as : 'Gerry Cloone.'
Wills and Kate just like other trendy parents
The Prince and his wife have bought a 3 - wheeled , pony - driven carriage for Baby George. Maclaren delighted
North Korea Seeks Joint Probe With US On Sony Hack
'Grave consequences will follow if America rejects our inquiry plan,' said Pyongyang, 'or if they screen "The Interview" or do anything that leads Kim Jong-un to stamp his feet and throw a tantrum.'
Christmas Shoppers Spend £1.2bn On 'Panic Saturday'
Retailers are bracing themselves for a final shopping onslaught on Christmas Eve or 'Oh my God, it's Christmas Day tomorrow, why didn't anybody warn me?' Wednesday.
ISLE OF WIGHT NEWS
Invasion of French Clams smells of garlic . ''And I dare say they they're promiscuous too '', says local who's never been to France.
Santa's a git , says embittered brother
'He sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake,been bad or good , total Control Freak'', says Darren Claus
Queen freaks Dame Helen out
The Queen's voice has been dubbed over Helen Minner's , in a box set DVD of 'Prime Suspect'. MI5 puts it all down to
'A Palace Butler in need of funds'
Christmas Day Soaps to feature dramatic non - events
Eastenders Christmas Episodes will break ground this year. No-one will be murdered or return from the dead....instead there will be Scrabble - Based tiffs, a trifle - induced tantrum and a Power - Cut
Richard the 3rd jock strap found
Richard the 3rds jock strap has been discovered in an ASDA drain. The find proves that Royalty are, in fact, human and have nether regions, just like Commoners.
Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day
Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
Sony to Open "The Interview" in Iran
In a surprise move, the Sony Corporation has announced that they will now be opening their beleaguered film in Iran. "Let Iran fight it out with North Korea.It's a win-win!" said a Sony spokesperson.
Terrorist Orphans Threaten to Shut Down "Annie"
The Guardians of Paternity threatened to carpet movie theaters with dirty diapers if they dare to open that affront to orpans, the new movie Annie.
"As if one wasn't enough!" spoke a GOPer.
Hogwarts Academy Hires Bill Cosby as New Potions Teacher
Harry Potter's school, the Hogwarts Academy, has announced that they will be hiring Bill Cosby as their new potions master."Dr. Cosby has been known to cook up some mean potions!" said the Headmaster.
Obama Outsources Legislative Branch To Mumbai Management Firm
The administration has high hopes for successful governance. Congress, deeply involved with itself, has not noticed the change.
NIAGARA FALLS IS MOVING
The city of Chicago, in an attempt to calm everybody down, has purchased Niagara Falls. "We are going to put it right next to Wrigley Field!" Exclained the mayor.
Spoof Writer Accosted by Bill Cosby
Cal Jennings claims to have been sexually abused by Bill Cosby. Hopes to get his million.
Christmas Truce will feature football
Football Clubs all over England will stop the inaction and boredom of a typical match and devote 20 mins to the game actually being played. Dec 2014
Vladimir Putin in Red Chair
Mr Putin took a night flight ,thinking it was to bring him to Red Square. Instead he found himself in Graham Norton's Red Chair, London. His story of Selfies in a Minsk toilet dlighted the audience
diplomatic Incident may occur, over Pastel Shade Nuance
Foreign Journalist deported for calling Duchess' Dress 'Yellow ', not 'Commonwealth Lemon'.
Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line
Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
Update On Ruble And Feather Race
Houston: The feather has landed. The Russian ruble continues to fall…
Thierry Henry: Former Arsenal and France striker retires from football
He plans to make a bit to join the France Handball team for the Rio Olympics.
Not What you Think at All
CCTCT or the compulsion to disprove conspiracy theory has been officially diagnosed as a psychological ailment by the World Psychiatric Association in service to the New World Order. A new drug called Serenity has been introduced to combat it.
At last, Fakebook dismisses 'dislike' button as far too vegetative
WTF 'Chris Christie crushed on Twitter'?
Maybe the guy got squished in between two giant cyber trucks
New road rage pill a winner
Little ampoule of cement/charcoal mix soon stops any urges to abuse fellow motorists
Sydney Gunman 'Was Out-On-Bail Serial Pervert'
Sydney Arthur Gunman - not to be confused with the Sydney gunman in the Cafe siege
UKIP drip whipped for lip slip
A UKIP candidate withdrew from election today after apparently racist comments.
Jim Hitler explained, "I'm not a racist. I was suffering from back pain - the leading cause of racist outbursts."
Chinese Billionaire bids for The Alps
Ling Wai Hi , Shanghai Billionaire , has put in a bid to buy the Alps.''They weren't up for sale , but now everyone wants to buy 'em ', says The Eu
No Room at the Inn for Christmas Shoppers
A pregnant woman and her common law partner have been refused accommodation by a London Hotel.''The couple's request to stable a donkey was against Health & Safety'', says the Hotel Management
Post Black Friday order backlog causes Santa Melt down
Santa has checked into the Ropiry Clinic, due to Seasonal
Delivery Affective Disorder. ''Santa is very tired and is looking at a new career , perhaps in Winter - Sport Punditry'', say Aides
"Please... Don't Let Them Torture Me!"
So pleads ex-U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney in a live video broadcast last night shortly after he was abducted by Al Qaeda.
Kissinger Celebrates Birthday
Henry Kissinger celebrates his 119th birthday at Masonic playground Bohemian Grove. George W. Bush cuts cake.
Paparazzi Shocked As Christmas Prince George Photos Reveal He Looks Like A Normal 16 Month Old Child
Paparazzi clamouring to get photos of wealthy 16 month old baby Prince George were astounded when they found their cameras had recorded that Prince George was a normal 16 month old toddler.
Christmas Appears To Be Approaching
Evidence of the stealthy approach of Christmas is mounting, with reports coming in to our Christmas reporters' buildings of Tweets and Facebook pages suggesting its likely date as December 25th.
Photos Of Prince George Published To Reward Press For Not Publishing Pictures Of Prince George
Prince William and the Duchess of Kate have supplied our royal baby department with carefully photoshopped photos of Prince George as a reward for not publishing Paparazzi photos of Prince George.
Where's best to watch the spectacular Geminid meteor shower?
Probaby in NASA CEO's private ensuite bathroom!
Russian military jet nearly collides with Swedish Mile High Club plane
Pilot Sergei Rasputin says he almost dislocated an eyeball looking at those nude ''Swedish Exercises" in Coach
Tractors now all the rage
To be considered a true hipster now requires parking a tractor anywhere in Hackney.But the tractor must have muddy wheels
Anti and Pro anti - water Charge protests
Irish Protests against Irish Protests against Water Charges
are confusing matters. Just what the Government wants
Nigel Farage has children!
Further evidence of Nigel Farage's fascist leanings have come to light when it was revealed his children are called Zeke and Kyle.
Royal Corgis Now Go To Bathroom On Servants
As the days in Buckingham Palace get shorter. a new solution to doing a number two has been found. An army of "Poo Servants" has been hired to lay down instantly for the corgis to crap on.
NBA's Lebron James Now Has a New Nickname
NYC-After meeting the Royal Cambridges post-game,James has been dubbed "The Rude and Intrusive Paw" for breaking protocol and wrapping his mit around the Duchess.Lebron couldn't keep his Paw in check.
Santa's Elf writes 'naughty ' blog
One of Santa's Junior Elves was bored and started a blog which includes a recipe for ''Reindeer Nuggets''.
Steps Taking Action Steps to Implement Pre-plan Thwarted by Action Plan
CIA Director John Brennan, Under Waterboarding Administered by the Senate, Admits That Torture Is a Bad Idea
Pelosi And Reid Just Revealed Democrats' 2015 Strategy - Free Lobotomies
House minority leader Pelosi has been careful to stipulate when Republicans need Democrat votes to pass legislation, Dems can't completely thwart the GOP's aspirations. She will offer FREE lobotomies!
Porridge Tankers To Pump Porridge Into Troughs For Poor Who Can't Cook
Arrangements are being made for porridge troughs to be built outside Westminster so that Lady Jenkin can herd starving people who can't cook towards the healthy but revolting substance.