Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Jeff Koon's Controversial 'Piece'

A show of Jeff Koons' work now in London boasts a giant sculpture of his own pooh. Critics say:

(1). "Convoluted".
(2). "Heavy."
(3). "Very DuChamp".
(4). "Speaks volumes".
(5). "A load of shite".

written by Auntie Matter, 21 May 2016
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Barack Obama To Be Crowned Emperor

Obama is to be crowned First Emperor of the New World Order at a special ceremony conducted by Pope Francis at the Vatican Basilica this August 4th, his birthday.

written by Auntie Matter, 21 May 2016
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If Elected, Trump Promises A Free Bottle of Trump Vodka to Every Family in Flint

"This is the best solution to the Flint Water Crisis! Trump's publicist John Miller told the press.

written by Al N., 21 May 2016
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Trump Ponders Choice of Running MILF

"Sierra Paylin or Anne Colter. They both have big boobs, and both make me look rather sane by comparison. How to choose, how to choose..."

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 21 May 2016
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Obama's New Executive Order 13604

Congress is no longer empowered to pass laws.

written by Auntie Matter, 20 May 2016
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Amazon Books Asks to Have Amazon River Name Changed

The Amazon lawyers claim the river is infringing on their trademark.

written by Al N., 20 May 2016
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Ted Danson Announces Retirement

He will only appear in five different TV series next season.

written by Al N., 20 May 2016
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Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks Donald Trump

We managed to speak to Mr Trump, and he said 'Ouch.'

written by Tom Sivvy, 20 May 2016
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Ego Mania at its Best

The only person smarter than "Bill Clinton" is 'Bill Clinton'.

written by Auntie Matter, 19 May 2016
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Jim Carrey Called a Schizophrenic

When asked whether this was true, he said it was not, then suddenly started to have a conversation with himself.

written by Tom Sivvy, 19 May 2016
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Ben Carson Has Joined MySpace in Order to Impress Trump With How Hip He Is

"I know Donald wants his Vice-President to be able to relate to the kids also," said Carson.

written by Al N., 19 May 2016
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How Not To Die

1. Breathe
2. Don't have a heart attack
3. Don't get sexually active with Donald Trump

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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Secret of Rapid Ageing Revealed.

LONDON: Scientists at the Tavistock Inst. have discovered that "rapid ageing" is directly caused by being timed while getting old.

written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
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Woman Thought to Have Been Dead is Found.

lONDON. A Woman thought to have been dead for over fifty years was yesterday discovered by her husband.

"I woke up... and there she was... lying beside me," said he."

written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
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Last Words

"Look at the size of the fu##k'in teeth on that bastard!"
Last words of an English tourist 'taken' by a Great White while fishing off the coast of Tasmania.

written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
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TRUMP the next President.

How do we know?
The Media.
Howz dat?
The Media tells Americans what to think.
All of them?
Most of them.

written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
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Never too old!

When I was a young man and the entire world lay before me, I dreamt of having BMW's.

Now....I am an old man.

I have BFW's.....burps, farts and wheezes.

DANG!.......soo close!

written by b kenneth mcgee, 18 May 2016
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Scientific Discovery of the Century

Scientists have just found that Micheal Jackson, Bruce Lee and Jesus are all currently on a spiritual journey in Chuck Norris' beard.

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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The End is Nigh

I keep thinking it's Tuesday.

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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Breaking News Flash

Dial 555-0100 for a free steak!

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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Hitler's Legacy Lives On

Before we get to the article, we would like to thank MacDonaldTrumps and their tasty Trump burger for their cash.

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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Film at 10 o'clock

I am currently wearing rubber nipples, whilst riding a donkey, on top of a sopranos singer. Film at 10 o'clock.

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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When is a Duck NOT a Duck?

"If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck..."... it may not be a duck. It may be a hawk pretending to be a duck.

written by Auntie Matter, 16 May 2016
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"Conspiracy Theory" Gone

The phrase "conspiracy theory" is to be replaced in the media by "STRATEGY THEORY" because the former implies malevolence whereas targets of "strategies" are simply unlucky... and cannot be 'victims'.

written by Auntie Matter, 16 May 2016
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Ronald McDonald Not Ready To Support Trump

"He's still a few fries short of a Happy Meal," said the beloved McDonald's Spokesclown.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 16 May 2016
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Final Blame For Man U Bomb Lies With Fido The Sniffer Dog Says Firm Who Planted Fake Device

'Fido the sniffer dog failed to find the fake bomb,' said a spokesman for the firm that planted the device. 'It was all his fault, and the animal has been put down as a warning to the other dogs.'

written by Swan Morrison, 16 May 2016
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Trump Says His Publicist John Miller's Birth Certificate Is Missing

Trump's publicist, "John Miller," thinks his lost birth certificate is "in a drawer somewhere."

written by Al N., 16 May 2016
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Hitler Again

After Ken Livingstone and Boris Johnson talking of Hitler now we have Boy Scouts advocating My Camp.

written by j.w., 16 May 2016
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"The EU wants a superstate, just as Hitler did..." (Boris Johnson)

Now when exactly did you make this discovery you budding Tory PM you? Perhaps, your old man Sir Stanley, who worked tirelessly for the EU and the World Bank accidentally dropped it in conversation?

written by Auntie Matter, 15 May 2016
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"We have Failed to Centralize Europe." (European Parliament)

Oh really?...
Suggestion... Why don't you naff off out of it whoever you are and leave Europe and those who live there alone? Go home where you can inflict yourself on people you know!

written by Auntie Matter, 15 May 2016
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Music Ballad Survey

In a music survey of the 'best' ballads of the last decade it was found that ALL OF THEM without exception were sheeple-exploiting self-pitying crap.

written by Auntie Matter, 15 May 2016
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Final Farewell to Timothy Leary

All is transient Timothy.
How the hell could you have missed it?

written by Auntie Matter, 15 May 2016
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Scamatology Leader Denies He Ever Wet the Bed and Cried Himself to Sleep Like His Father's Book Said

Imagine his surprise when he found out his father's book never mentioned that stuff.

written by Al N., 14 May 2016
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Scamatology Leader Denies He Ever Wet the Bed and Cried Himself to Sleep Like His Father's Book Said

Imagine his surprise when he found out his father never mentioned that stuff.

written by Al N., 14 May 2016
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Trump's Taco Bowl Controversy

"I love Hispanics," the billionaire said, "they taste great!"

written by XRhonda Speaks, 13 May 2016
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Woody Allen Doesn't Get Jokes Aimed at Him So He Doesn't Care

Woody Allen, the butt of a pedophile joke told at Cannes, said he doesn't understand comedy anyways.

written by Al N., 13 May 2016
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The World Bank Speaks

Give us our money or else!

Now fuck off!

written by Auntie Matter, 12 May 2016
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The Three Most Plentiful Things on the Planet.

1. Air.
2. Water.
3. Close-ups of women's asses on Vimeo.

written by Auntie Matter, 11 May 2016
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The Laid-Back Singer Awards 2016

Los Angeles: The prestigious LA, Laid-Back Singer awards have just been announced for 2016. Winner is Michael Bublé.

Lifetime achievement award goes to Perry Como with Bing Crosby a close second and Frank Sinatra third.
Runner up was Ramesses II.

written by Auntie Matter, 11 May 2016
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MONSANTO ANNOUNCES

Monsanto CEO announced: "Today, we released genetically modified PLANKTON into the Atlantic. Henceforth, anyone who catches a fish from a herring to a whale must pay us... or face legal prosecution."

written by Auntie Matter, 11 May 2016
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Trump Limo Crashes, Eye Bags Save The Don From Serious Injury

The driver and an assistant were treated at a Pittsburgh hospital for their injuries.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 11 May 2016
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Raccoons Sue To Stop Use Of "Reverse Raccoon Eyes" To Describe Donald Trump

The animals claim they have reverse Trump eyes.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 11 May 2016
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Britain's New, Plain Speaking Foreign Policy To Be Implemented Gradually

'The PM called Nigerians and Afghans corrupt, and the Queen said the Chinese were very rude,' said a Government spokesman, 'but there are no current plans to offend the Frogs, Krauts or Dagos - oops.'

written by Swan Morrison, 11 May 2016
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Department Of Justice Sues North Carolina To Make Bathrooms Attractive To All Genders

North Carolina is being forced by the DOJ to have both Man Wipes and Fresh Flowers in all bathrooms.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 10 May 2016
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Ex-Wives Talk About Trump

The billionaire's ex-wives all agreed that the worst thing about having sex with Donald Trump was having sex with Donald Trump.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 10 May 2016
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New On NBC, Dancing With The Starch

NBC's new TV show where competitors lose weight while dancing.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 10 May 2016
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Air Drone Attacks

"Are air drone strikes 'legal?'" lawyers want to know.

Is mass murder 'legal'? we all don't need to know.

written by Auntie Matter, 10 May 2016
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Cameron. "The EU Has Kept Peace in Europe".

No doubt about it. Without the EEC formed in 1993 Germany would have declared war against France, Spain against Italy, Austria against Poland and Ireland against the lot.

written by Auntie Matter, 09 May 2016
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Fox News Reports That Obama is to Blame for Republlican Party Lack of Candidates

With no viable candidates for the 2016 election, Fox reports Obama must be blamed for GOP's decline.

written by Al N., 08 May 2016
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Ted Cruz Says God Has Higher Plan For Him

Ex-Republican candidate Ted Cruz claims God has told him he should run for Pope instead of POTUS.

written by Al N., 08 May 2016
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