Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
BBC confirms there will be weather
Bank Holiday or not.
David Cameron Sleeps Out.
For the election David Cameron has spent a night among the outcasts in Hyde Park. "Now I know wha they go through," said he. "All I could think of was the champagne breakfast I had lined up for when I got back home,"
New Jersey Gov Has New Promotion Gig
Chris Christie was named by the American Lard Assn as their new spokesperson. Lard Ass President Bud Gristel named the Gov after learning that Christie's favorite book is The Count of Mounds of Crisco
Scientists Discover Why men Cheat.
Scientists have discovered why so many men cheat on their partners: (1) Sex. (2) More sex. (3) More exciting sex.
Bernie Sanders Is Running for President of The People's Republic of Amerika
Senator Bernie Sanders will seek the Democratic Party's nomination for President of The People's Republic of Amerika.
Obama Announces Free Ice Cream for Low-Income Children
President Obama will go to one of Washington's poorest neighborhoods to talk about a plan to give low-income children free ice cream.
This nurse checking a patient on oxygen asked her if his testicles were black and after checking him said no your testicles are not black.When he pulls his mask off and says"Are my test results back?
Word Etymology #2
from the Latin 'fundament',meaning buttocks and 'ist', meaning 'one who thinks with'.
Verdict Out on Casual Vacancy BBC Series.
Hiram Abiff Pike, editor of the Sunday Times declares Rowling's "Casual Vacancy", "the best TV production ever" from his Lodge in Central London.
Tuna company in hot water after worker cooked alive in six tons of fish
Let that be a karmic warning to other fishy-sounding people like Scots Nationalists Alex Salmond and Nicola Sturgeon!
Miss Piggy wins Brooklyn Museum award for porcine-faced women
Says she owes everything to her doppelgänger role model Chelsea Clinton
Bill Clinton heads to Africa as foundation screwtinized
Bill and Hill's lousy slush fund rapidly going down the pan
Saudi Arabia thwarts attack on US Embassy, arrests 93 terrist suspects
Mossad responds saying it all bears the hallmark of a classic Saudi inside job
Nigerian Army Rescues 200 Girls, 93 Women From Forest
That's Nottingham Forest football match where the silly dears had taken refuge following a Notts City 5-nil drubbing last weekend.
Pot Used As Contraceptive!
Matt Kroner, 22, a Senior at Duke, read in one of his Medical Journals that pot can decrease your sperm count by 50%. Matt has now found his college thesis and is actively seeking other participants!
Obama Blames Climate Change for Racial Unrest
Climate change "is not a problem for another generation," President Obama said Wednesday during an Earth Day address in Baltimore. "This is a problem now."
Bruce Jenner's Transformation Nearly Complete
Bruce Jenner plans to complete his transformation into a woman by dumping "his" Republican Party and becoming a full blown, bleeding-heart liberal.
Bush Patents Go On
Subsequent to patenting the phrase "New World Order", the Bush family have now patented "9/11". Any use thereof without permission is now "actionable" state their lawyers Schillings of London.
Ferguson Won't Be Out-Rioted!
Only hours after riots broke out on the streets of Baltimore, Ferguson, Missouri residents retaliated with their own riot, burning just one more cop car than the competition to regain the title.
Ed Miliband pledges to top himself if Labour win.
Please form an orderly queue and mark your 'x' clearly in the correct box, "ey thank you!"
President Obama Issues Executive Order, Combining ATF, USDA, GMOs and Climate Change
President Obama issued an executive order today, directing the ATF, USDA, GMOs and Climate Change to be combined into one department (FAT ASS).
Election Defeat is ultimate Zero Hours Contract
say three unemployed Prime Ministers.
Chipoltes Bans Employees From Getting Inoculated
Chipoltes's Co-Chief Executive Officer, Monte Moron, announced today that Chipoltes will no longer employ anyone who has been inoculated.
Rubio To Gay Republicans "I Would Eat A Ball Off Of A Penis Shaped Wedding Cake At A Lesbian Wedding Ceremony"
Miami, FL - Courting gay "log cabin" Republicans, Marco Rubio, who just days earlier said he would attend a gay wedding, today said he would happily eat a testicle from a penis shaped wedding cake.
Most Scots Rooting For The Other Side In The General Election - Survey
Every Scot worth an ounce of salted porridge is looking forward to cheering on England's opponents in a packed public house on election day, according to a survey. Whiskey pre-orders have tripled.
Thomas The Tank Engine Loves Bon Jovi
The Island Of Sodor, UK - In a rare but enthusiastic interview, Thomas the Thank Engine admitted that Bon Jovi's music inspires him, when he and the gang are working hard all day, down by the docks.
House of Lords chef tried to blow up a petrol station blames terrorist TV show
I was trying to flambe a joint of mutton, M'Lud, according to Halal principles of the Jihadi Cook Book
Original Whitney Houston Lyrics Found
Who knew? Whitney's 1985 Smash Hit, 'Saving All My Love For You,' was originally penned for a porno flick. The original lyrics appear to have been, 'Shaving All My Muff For You.'
Scientists Discover Early Man Was Stupid and Ugly
We have long suspected the ugly part but became sure of the stupid part when we discovered an early skeleton with a harelip and carrying a Chia Pet.
Tom Cruise and John Travolta Quit Scamatology to Become Mormons
"Ya, like I was like totally blown away you know man by the magic tablets" said John Travolta, while Tom Cruise just grinned and said "Two words. Mormon Underwear."
Isle Of Wight To Become Psytrance "Ibiza" For 65 - 70s
It's goodbye Glen Miller and hello Psytrance, as the Isle of Wight shifts its target holiday age from 80 - 90 year olds down to 65 to 70 walking frame "Psytrancers" starting in 2016, says Promo Dept.
iToons Shows Apple Logo Biting Android Robot in Crotch
In an apparent act of retaliation, Apple's iToons website displayed the Aaple logo biting the Android robot in the groin area.
Migrants Killed By Train In Canyon
Certainly not their lucky week!
New Study Concludes That Semen Prevents Breast Cancer
A new study, released Wednesday, has concluded that semen, consumed orally, prevents breast cancer. The study was issued by the National Foundation for Men.
News Media Will Only Report on Women Not Raped by Cosby
There are now so many Bill Cosby rape accusers that a new one is no longer news; what is news is a woman he hasn't drugged or raped.
Prince George mutilates Toy Dragon
'It shows his prodigious Historical Awareness', say Court Spokespeople, or 'grovellers', in Commoner's Speak.
President Obama Orders National Weather Service to Build Climatron
President Barack Obama issued an Executive Order Tuesday, directing the National Weather Service to build the Climatron.
NYC Mayor de Blasio 'aims to reduce waist' by 3 million tons by 2030
Gets sympathy note from New Jersey Governor Chris Christie suggesting more modest goal of five inches off the hips before 2016
Driver makes statement after car crashes through bank window in Manhattan
Says he was just returning their lousy wheels after bank's repo man sent confiscation order
Topless? They'd be 'headless' in downtown Aleppo, Syria
Jihadis respond to 'Topless women posing with underage kids in Times Square' headlines in New York Toast
Extremist thwarts own deadly attack after accidentally shhoting himself in the foot
Best news counter-terror cops have heard all week
Hahaha, you is toast!
Sign seen on radioactive-themed drone found on Japanese PM's office roof
Shipwreck's 170-year-old champagne tastes like 'wet bear' says oenophile
Not sure if that's 'grizzly', 'panda' or 'bi-polar', you need to be an expert in the field to be 100% sure in such matters
Lousy customer service payback?
Woman sentenced for shooting at McDonald's that twice forgot to put bacon in her Fatburger
GOP presidential wannabe Marco Rubio reaches out to gay conservatives
At least that's his excuse for getting caught in a clinch with Tom Cruise!
Bourbon theft ring networked at mothball games?
Correction! make that softball games!
Sheepdog drives tractor on motorway!
A sheepdog was seen driving a tractor down the M74 and it's owner was also seen barking at his herd, they ignored him of course, the farmer not the dog!
President Obama Proposes Building 10,000 Mile Dike To Protect USA From Climate Change
This morning, President Obama proposed utilizing the USA's military to build a dike around the lower 48 states, combating climate change.
Republicans Send Letter to Iran Telling Them Obama Sleeps With a Night Light
The Republicans sent a letter to the Iranians reminding them not to make any deals with Obama since he'll be out of office soon and because he used to wet the bed and still sleeps with a night light.
Republicans Reveal They Have Evidence Obama is Stockpiling WMDs
Dick Cheney revealed that the Republican Party has proof that Obama is stockpiling weapons of mass destruction and the army should be called in to invade the White House.