Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Palace Orders Hit on Former DIA Intel Chief
Emperor Barack I, fuming over MidEast reality check by LtGen Davis on Sunday, ordered a hit on the General, palace spies report. Word is Terminator-in-Chief Valerie Jarrett got the nod.
Kerry Ordered to Stay in Switzerland by His Handlers
Foreign Minister Kerry will stay put, not due to Iran-will-nukem talks, but on orders from his VietCong superiors. They want further intel to advance their joint scheme with Putski to conquer Europe.
White Power morons march into Manchester!
In a city normally divided by red or blue a third party preaching White Power decided to let everybody know Jurassic morons are still alive! I would suggest sending them to Auschwitz!
Only 3 Drugs In America's Pharmacopeia "Do anything"
A high ranking official with the FDA made the remark Thursday at a cocktail party. He said "other than this whiskey the only thing medicine has to offer is penicillin, tranquilizers, and amphetamines"
Coffee Chain Stirs Debate With Holocaust Themed Establishments
Glenn Winn, CEO of the Social Bean defended his decision to raise awareness of social injustice though his business establishments. "Coffee can get us talking about more than that Ferguson race thing"
Ed 'mincer' Milipeed And Do-nothing-Dave For Live Showdown,
The "Powderpuff two-step"
Styles In Tears After Zayn Malik Leaves 1D
I know how he must feel I cannot stop crying tears of joy myself. One down, four to go!
Poll: Do-nothing-Dave Wins Leaders' TV Clash.
..up against Little Eddie Milipeed even a 3 year old could win....well done Dave!
'Home Alone' Arrest Made Every Day - Report
.....about bloody time, those movies are diabolical!
Hard Ed v Smooth Dave: The Verdict.
............two tossers for the price of one!
Cameron told to wait and see about his request for a new conservatory
David Cameron's request to have a new conservatory in the back garden of number 10 has been put on ice till after the forthcoming General election.
Cameron told to wait and see about his request for a bee hive.
David Cameron's request to keep Bees in the back garden of number 10 has been put on backburner till after the forthcoming General election.
Who says Jennifer Lawrence is going to play Patty Hearst?
Uh, the studio boss waving the $20m pay check?
Hollywood power players attend Brian Grazer's pre-Solstice hooker party
So what else is new?
Daniel Day-Lewis spotted dining with designer Domenico Vericca
The pair might make some comfortable slip-on loafers together maybe for the burgeoning fungal nail disease footwear market
Sam Taylor-Johnson out of 'Filthy Shades' sequel
Says things getting just too damn grubby and might damage her reputation
Ben Stiller still moaning that Joan Rivers 'didn't like me' and we never made quiche
Blame the mess he made of quinoa ratatouille for the never ending feud
Drew Barrymore reads Dr. Seuss when dumbing down
Such downmarket trash, no wonder they say her kids aren't exactly Einstein
Britney Spears reported taking pre-Viagra to keep up with kids
Uh, make that pre-Algebra!
American Apparel wants models, not 'Instagram hoes'
Instagram retaliates, says it wants American Apparel sluts, not models
Yoga outfit 'said to stretch truth in regards to assets sale'
Sounds like a story about some keep fit fanatic hooker's Spandex gusset bursting just as she's about to blow a John
Heinz merging with Kraft in $36B deal to create 'global food giant'
Attorneys for Jolly Green Giant Sweetcorn Corp beg to differ, slap lawsuit on Heinz merger proposal
SEC chief takes aim at predatory traders in 'dark poos' scandal
Big black shits going down the pan says SEC boss Mary Jo White
NY Stock market riggingno longer a conspiracy theory
Tin foil hatter vindicated as insider trading tip stands to make him a cool million bucks
De Blasio praises school despite crap test scores
Headteacher demands Hizzoner takes detention for messing up his math grades
Parents claim nuns cashing in by closing Montessori preschool
Sure, there isn't a decent cat house for at least ten blocks round here, but Mother Superior shouldn't be so damn grasping
Reports coming in that cops take down NYC commuter train heroin ring
Rumoured replacement said to be the Colorado Springs Weed Line, coming to a subway station near you
WTF 'Your subway's late because of a surge in unruly passengers?'
Onion ring-eating grossly obese travellers blocking your commute?
Top military brass resisting calls to lift transgender shirt
No, wait! that should read 'shirtlitfer ban'.
Tsarnaevs' terrorism lair 'looked like a bomb site'
Highly surprising, considering.
Ponzi schemer who stole $60M from independent film king pleads mitigation
Says he was on a Bernard Madoff internship sponsored by Enron
Head of world's largest uranium producer dies at 44
Rest of body bound to follow soon
Pennsylvania politician says randy celebrities signed re-election petitions
Blames too much cheap ObamaCare Viagra doing the rounds
Dozens of sharks spotted swarming around oil rig
That's loan sharks, sniffing blood as news of BP profits tumble goes viral
President Obama will host Pope Francis in the Fall
That's the Decline & Fall Of The Holy Roman Empire, guys.
Drug Endorsement Administration blamed for handling of agents' sex parties with hookers
Should have subcontracted to a DC Madam just like every other government department
Massive hemorrhoid to whiz past Earth this Passover
God's way of saying enough with the braised brisket and whorseradish source, really messing up the celestial digestion
Lumber Liquidators slapped with class-action suit that deadly chemical is boring
Uh, correction! That should read: 'class-action suit over deadly chemical in flooring'
Pope presented with pizza
Causes 'fracas' as topping didn't include mushrooms
California Gay Advocacy Group Proposes Ballot Initiative to Allow Killing of Straights
In response to a measure to allow killing of gays in CA, Nigel Reynolds, attorney for the GAG has filed a petition with the California Attorney General, Kamala Harris, to allow killing of straights.
Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial Leaked
Another leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
Fog hits British news readers on the Beeb!
It seems that Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson getting the boot from his rather childish programme is more important than the German Wings tragody. Well that's what the Beeb shows on the internet!
Wife Jailed For Attempt To 'Boil Her Husband'.
..............poor sod, he only married her for her culinary skills in the first place!
Britain To Boost Falkland Islands Defences
.....two new peashooters purchased from Amazon.
Church Appoints Its Second Woman Bishop
.....due to a dire shortage of choirboys!
Animals May Help Predict Earthquakes -Study
nothing new here, my cat reaches 5.1 on the Richter scale every time he craps for England!!
Collie Dog joins Teaching Staff of Primary School
The dog helps encourage pupils learning, but Ofsted say her Diploma out of Date
Nuns invade altar where Pope saying Mass
Congregation thought they were Villa Fans on Stag Weekend
The Hillary Has to Make a Quick-Change in Order to Appear in Public
Known to insiders is that Hillary has to don those sail-maker crafted pants suit only for public events. Mandated by all Clinton funding from those Arab states, she must be in strict purdah elsewhere.
Cameron promises not to serve a third term!
There is a god after all!