There were 1,839 spoof news snippets published in February 2014. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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True Facts From Snoops #971

Snoops: In Italian slang, a Bingle is a car accident and a whinger is a complainer. Wonder what a goober grabber is?

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Could sharks help predict hurricanes?

Maybe, maybe not! But who's going to get close enough to check them out?

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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The Duck Dynasty Hosts Bowl Game

In a year of big changes for NCAA football, the A&E stars put their Duck Commander brand on Louisiana's Independence Bowl in a new five-year deal!

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Inside of My Body? (SLAP!!) No You Don't!

The FDA has approved a new camera that can be swallowed so that doctors can look at the inside of their patients' bodies.

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Justin Bieber Videos Show Unsteady Walk in Jail

He certainly looks different all pale and bow-legged!

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Disney World is raising the price of a one-day ticket to Epcot to $100

Some are saying that for a big family they could save money by actually flying to some of the countries instead of a fake one.

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Hollywood Bar Bans Anti-Gay Lawmakers.

States: Then we don't have to bring in any of your movies!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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U.S. Plans $1 Billion Loan to Ukraine, Kerry Says

"Just as long as the Chinese agree to the financing!"

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Bob Dylan Ad For Chrysler A Fraud

One little problem . . . Dylan praised the U.S. auto industry. Chrysler Corp. had been bought out by Fiat of Italy several weeks ago.

written by Keith Shirey, 04 February 2014
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Older Dads at Higher Risk of Passing Along Mental Disorders, Study Says

"We are not", says older dad. "It's the things put in the kids food that causes all the problems. Go back 2 generations and lots of big families and this wasn't true because they grew their own food.

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Arizona warned you will lose the Super Bowl

Anti gay proposal may be passed in other states.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #903

Snoops: In some cultures people believe that it's good luck to cross your fingers. In others, they think you are about to lie!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Farting in cars to be outlawed

Farting in private vehicles carrying children is soon to be made illegal. A proposal to allow farts 'if they are set alight' has been dismissed, although expected to be widely ignored by HGV drivers.

written by Crunk, 11 February 2014
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A Tidbit About The Beatles Song "Twist And Shout"

During the recording of "Twist And Shout" John Lennon was screaming so loud that his left tonsil actually popped out hitting George Harrison on the nose and causing him to drop his guitar pick

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 February 2014
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Michelle O Pushing Ban on Junk Food Advertising in Schools #2

Then I guess the Girl Scout cookies will be banned also?

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #181

Snoops: After counting several times by actuaries Pez has twelve pieces of candy in "Pez 12".

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #970

Snoops: Smokey The Bear was originally called "Hotfoot Hairy".

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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POLL: Uninsured opposition reaches all-time high.

Poll: Insured opposition reaches all-time low! Those in between say they are at all-time middling!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Great-grandpa takes home wrong kid from school, angering parents

"Well they all look alike in those get-ups. I guess that was what all the fuss was about when we left."

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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US Shows Strong Support For High School Ed

Stadiums across America are filled on Friday nights and the spotlight is on star football athletes.

written by Keith Shirey, 02 February 2014
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The Mascot Did What?

An NBA mascot has been fired after allegedly molesting two cheerleaders and a hot dog vendor.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 February 2014
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Jay Leno Comes Clean

The man known as "The Chinmaster" insists that the 2010 rumors of an affair between him and Heidi Montag were false and he can prove it by the fact that he is allergic to plastic.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 February 2014
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Ukraine Vows to Protect Bank Deposits..

One guard told our reporter that there was nothing in there to protect but they would go through the motions.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Arizona warned that they will lose the Super Bowl

If laws against gays passed. Owner, we weren't really counting on even making it to the Super Bowl!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Egypt's military announces cure for AIDS.

Military? I guess their solution is lining people up and shooting them? That will cure flu also.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Turkey PM vows action against 'fake' leaked recordings.

Others say Snowden has many fake reports to release.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Florida Dem: Without immigration bill, who will clean our hotel rooms and landscape our lawns?

YOU will, Mr. Moneybucks. Or else you can sell out and move to another country where slavery is legal.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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'Pure evil': City caps sewer of woman fighting to live 'off the grid'

"I'm staying here" she tells reporters. "A lot of burning poo on city doorsteps not my doing should kids think about it. I say, a lot of burning poo on doorsteps should kids think about it."

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Pollution, Smog Making China Have A Nuclear Winter!

"Soon we won't be able to see how to get around, grow anything, no season warming for fruit trees", say invisible people.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #177

Snoops: Whip-O-Will babies emerge ten dys before a full moon...stark naked!!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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The Nuns Are Fit To Be Tied

A group of Boston nuns has just learned that The Bravo Network will not be buying the rights to their reality show, Nuns Gone Wild.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #552

Snoops: Many people in the southern states of America think that "the hat trick" in Hockey is when a player pockets the puck and takes out a hat from which he pulls out a rabbit!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #617

Snoops: Dizzy Dean the great pitcher for St. Louis, got his nickname from small bottles of Scotch he hid about his person. Also, screaming was aloud back then. He'd scream & fall, confusing batters.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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N.J. mom: School bus left my 5-year-old at wrong stop ... again

This is the third time this month according to mother. There are no houses there. Why is she doing this?

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Scientology Leader's Wife Shelly Turns Up in Katie Holme's Basement

Michele "Shelly" Miscavige, wife of Scientology leader David Miscavige, has been missing for over seven years, and has just come out from hiding. "Katie has been so kind to give me refuge," she said.

written by Al N., 27 February 2014
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Privatise the NHS? No thanks.

If they privatise the NHS, they'll want me to pay for A&E. I'm afraid they'll get an IOU.

written by IainB, 12 February 2014
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Continuing severe politician warning for South of England

Despite the worst influx of senior politicians for decades, meterologists are warning residents of the Somerset Levels that there is worse to come.

written by Crunk, 09 February 2014
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Chinese celebrate New Year with Findus Lasagne

more soon.

written by Crunk, 03 February 2014
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Jay Leno Almost Bought The L.A. Lakers

But the deal fell through when the current owners found out that he was planning to relocate the team to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 February 2014
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Mika boycotts Russia on his new tour

Mika will not be touring in Russia. "I've heard it's illegal in Russia to promote right gays," he said. "Elton John's not going either."

written by IainB, 18 February 2014
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Michelle O Pushing Ban on Junk Food Advertising in Schools.

Now Washington wants to tell us what to eat. When will we know where to piss?

written by Bureau, 25 February 2014
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Kim Jong Un's Name Change

The North Korean leader's real name is Kim Kia Un, but he changed it 19 years ago, to avoid confusion with the KIA automobile

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 February 2014
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Fender bender in Las Vegas? Forget calling the police. They're not coming.#2

If they don't come, call back in and tell them you're one of you is gay and the other is screaming the "F" word!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Fender bender in Las Vegas? Forget calling the police. They're not coming. #3

If that doesn't work, pull or push one or two of the cars blocking the Strip with huge back-up.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Fender bender in Las Vegas? Forget calling the police. They're not coming. #4

If they won't come, tell them you have an underage hooker in each car and they have called their pimps. Beat on a garbage can or trash can in the background.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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4.4-billion-year-old zircon crystal fragment is oldest piece of Earth ever found

Immediate argument by professor who says it's only 4.3 billion years old. Fist fight follows. Cops won't show up.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #144

Snoops: When asked to name a number between one and twenty, most people choose 17 except in West Virginia where they choose "C".

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #443

Snoops: Monkeys make faces when they play together. No one knows what they do with the faces they make but they will stomp on any you try to collect. Theory: What you look like to them!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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CNN Numbers Tumble.

MSNBC numbers bust their ass. Number of people even watching TV now that football is over, sliding dangerously toward the brink!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Michelle O Pushing Ban on Junk Food Advertising in Schools.

Advertisers say they will place huge billboards along school bus routes. Cut off all donations to schools.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #792

Snoops: Some older people usually dance "The Robot". "It's a lot easier with all our stiff joints!"

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #735

Snoops: The Mozambique Spitting Viper sprays its prey with a powerful blinding venom. Many kill themselves by forgetting and spitting against the wind!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #900

Snoops: baloo from The Jungle Book is the only singing bear that's been confirmed by linguists.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Obama makes it official: U.S. planning for full Afghan withdrawal

So it's official that "Beginning to pull" at time of running for President and actual fulfilling take approximately six years. WWII didn't last that long!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Brooks denies being a redhead, but admits to 'intimate ginger moments'

more soon (we are sorry to say)

written by Crunk, 23 February 2014
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1,000 people show up for 50 jobs in Atlantic City.

White House Spin: We have already created 50 jobs in Atlantic City!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Supreme Court expands police authority to search homes.

Citizens Group: Are we allowed to search police before they bring something in?

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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On This Date in 1815

Napoleon Bonaparte escaped from exile on the Island of Elba. He told his men later, "I just had to have some more Elba room!"

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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NASA discovers 715 planets

All I know is that they weren't there yesterday", says supervisor!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #729

Snoops: The flightless Emu can run over 40 MPH and right over a small car and stop to peck the glasses out!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #600

Snoops: Giant anteaters are sometimes called "Ant Bears". This offends both groups.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Wintry weather returns to U.S. Midwest, Northeast with a vengeance

"Yoohoo! Guess who's back? Your old friend, Mister Polar Vortex Himself!"

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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See-through parents

When transgender people have children, they become see-through, or, as it's known in the trade a transparent.

written by IainB, 17 February 2014
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Kate Gosselin and Her Ex-Husband

Kate Gosselin says she is writing a tell-all book about ex-husband Jon Gosselin titled, The Truth About That Korean Punk, Jon Gosselin, Not Kim Jong Un.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 February 2014
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A Gossiper's Dream

The female cricket can hear other female crickets chirping as far away as 3 miles.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 February 2014
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Justin Bieber Has At Least One Fan Left

Nadya Suleman, better known as Octomom, says that she would like to adopt Justin Bieber.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 February 2014
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Might as well use it

The government has decided to make use of the flooding in the Somerset Levels. "We're going to grow rice," said Eric Pickles.

written by IainB, 18 February 2014
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Shirley Temple and Sid Caesar Secret Suicide Pact

Representatives for Shirley Temple and Sid Caesar, who both died within hours of each other February 11 and 12, denied that the two celebrities had a secret suicide pact.

written by Al N., 14 February 2014
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The Clown who could be king!

Prince Chaz follows Phil the Greeks penchant for classic gaffe's by describing Somerset floods as; "jolly good disaster".........and to think, this inbred klutz could one day be KING....jeez!!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 04 February 2014
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John Kerry Mix-Up

Secretary of State in Egypt trying to make a deal with Venezuela.

written by Bureau, 25 February 2014
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Jay Leno's Non-Coonskin Cap

Hardly anyone knows that Tonight Show host Jay Leno wears a toupee as he has been completely bald since 1993.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 February 2014
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Jay Leno's Salary Is $32 Million A Year

And out of that amount he figures that he spends about $16,000 a year on chin moisturizers

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 February 2014
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David Letterman's Childhood Injury

David has admitted that the gap between his front teeth is a result of a Red Rover, Red Rover injury he suffered as a young boy.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #646

Snoops: Some people have Agyrophobia, the fear of slime. Ever time they seen a McDonald's burger, they cross themselves.

written by Bureau, 25 February 2014
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President Obama Appoints "Buzz" Aldrin Lunar Ambassador

With a nod to transparency previously promised, the President today appointed retired astronaut "Buzz" Aldrin as ambassador to the Moon. "At least nobody can claim he hasn't been there," Obama said.

written by Trinculoman, 08 February 2014
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Survey of General American Intelligence Reveals Interesting Results

Some amazing historical perspectives revealed by survey: Tocqueville wrote the US Constitution under the direction of Jefferson; Lincoln was the illegitimate son of Henry Clay; and Grant won WW II!

written by Trinculoman, 18 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #817

Snoops: The ancient Greeks thought men could turn into bears and, for that matter, today's women do also!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #817

Snoops: Tapeworms can grow up to 25-30 feet long inside your intestines. You can get these things by eating worms. So, whatever you do, do not eat worms!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #817

Snoops: Tapeworms can grow up to 25-30 feet long inside your intestines. You can get these things by eating worms. So, whatever you do, do not eat worms!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #156

Snoops: Hibernating bears do not even go to the bathroom but in the Spring, if one comes tearing out of their caves to get to the woods, better not get in their way!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Golden Gate Bridge hits milestone in 2013 with 46 suicides...

That puts them five ahead of the Brooklyn Bridge and sets a record. White House congratulates accomplishment.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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First contagious WiFi computer virus goes airborne, spreads like the common cold

Dinky poopee could catch it from this dinky poopee snippet!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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IRS Warns: ObamaCare Tax must be paid.

Now we're beginning to hear the word "tax" added to the goofy Care program.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Detroit Expels Kid Rock

The city of Detroit has expelled faux rock star Kid Rock from the city limits. "He bought a house by the mayor's residence and everything has gone downhill since then" said a city spokesperson.

written by Al N., 11 February 2014
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City caps sewer of woman fighting to live 'off the grid'

So the city only wants all the homeless people off the grid? Numbers are going up every day.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #446

Snoops: While monkey wrenches are used As a tool, monkey wenchies are used By a tool!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #750

Snoops: Many big brown bears are called grizzly bears, among other things, by those who have had his tent destroyed and all their food eaten! Most of them I can not print here.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Samsung's new Galaxy phone

Samsung have announced that the new Galaxy phone will be called the SV and not the S5 as it looks too much like the SS.

written by IainB, 26 February 2014
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Today in 1952!

Prime Minister Winston Churchill announced that Britain had developed its own atomic bomb. British Citizens: WE HEARD! WE HEARD!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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New Scottish currency confirmed as the giro

more soon, as they get it...

written by Crunk, 19 February 2014
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The Sad Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin has just learned that the plans for her new television game show, Name The Country have been scrapped.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 February 2014
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Russia's Putin Sends Email to Ukraine Parliament

Kiev- Received today by the Ukraine Parliament was a note from Vladimir Putin to "come on a shopping trip to a Kiev mall." In a postscript,he added:"My entourage will include Cossacks and some tanks."

written by Trinculoman, 28 February 2014
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Eric Pickles put in charge of saving London from flooding

Eric Pickles has been charged by the cabinet to protect London from flood water. To this end, he has been hollowed out and will be used as a domed roof for the capital.

written by IainB, 12 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #445

According to Snoops: The most famous peanut farmers are former President Jimmy Carter, George Washington Carver and Peter Pan.

written by Bureau, 02 February 2014
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Lake Superior Feels Superior

About rave reviews for its fantastic ice show!

written by Gail Farrelly, 17 February 2014
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Pakistan's Elite Pay Few Taxes.

Widening gap continues between rich and poor in several other countries, Lauren Hutton's front teeth.

written by Bureau, 06 February 2014
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Another Wizard of Oz on the way!

However, they are running short of midgets! (to play munchkins and flying monkeys.)

written by Bureau, 03 February 2014
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Clumsy Cart & Brother Hold Up Bank

Holdup in New York fails when robber falls of over his own shoestrings.

written by Bureau, 25 February 2014
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American Men Sweep Medals in Free Skiing Slopestyle

The US team issued a celebratory press release - "Yeah, we kicked ass in an event we invented for the Games. 'Cuz who needs the pain of stamina and endurance for cross-country skiing. What a Drag!"

written by Trinculoman, 14 February 2014
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Pope Francis Pens Musical Tribute to Galileo

Vatican-His Holiness displayed another facet of his multitalents. The Pope dashed off a musical review in honor of Galileo called "Stars in His Eyes, Sacrilege in His Pen." Swiss Guards will perform.

written by Trinculoman, 25 February 2014
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