Order by:
Rating:

France Joins China, Russia

France now claims the air space over the Louisanna Purchase. President warns commercial airlines not to fly over the western United States.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Russia Joins China

Russia has claimed air space over Alaska is theirs. President orders commercial airliners not to fly over Alaska.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Police Busy in Alabama

In Jasper, Alabama a whole line of shoppers lined up at the door of Sears were knocked out and replaced by a second group just before the door opened.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

New Japanese Robot Babysitter

A company in Japan is selling a new robot that can play with kids, read them bedtime stories and fake farts for the boys. Only one mishap lately when one shorted out and killed a whole neighborhood.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Latest on Obamacare #2

Now calling are calling in and cancelling their Obamacare and calling "The Affordable Care Act". But it's jammed also.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Gettysburg Address Not Recognized At First

Most historians say that the Gettysburg Address wasn't appreciated until 5-6 months after it was delivered. In between, Lincoln was always accused of being on the Croquet lawn!

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Washington Warns Consumers on Obamacare

"Do not, we repeat, do not send any money to bogus health site calling itself "Obamanation"! It's a fraud!"

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

President On Obamacare

"I think everything will work it's way out. In order to help those not able to get through, I have another site being set up so you can call and tell us about not getting through on the first site."

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Elderly woman could be city's 10th 'knockout game' victim

"I'll be OK, stated the 72-Year-Old. "I used to be a knockout, about 40-55 years ago!"

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Lawmakers seek fix as plastic gun law is set to explode

I'm sorry. That should have read, Lawmakers seek fix as plastic gun law is set to 'expire'.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Obama: People think I'm trustworthy

Then runs back into the White House going "Beep Beep!" for some reason!

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

N. Korea: American issues 'apology'

President has to "Beep Beep" and run through the White House!

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #713

According to Snoops: The most midget clowns to ever fit into a small car is 26. Unfortunately, all 26 smothered to death when a previous act went too long.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #125

According to Snoops: Don Ho sung over 1,000 songs but public only remember "Tiny Bubbles". At his funeral, "Tiny Bubbles was sung six times.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Pope Francis denounces economic inequality

But doesn't offer to use Vatican wealth to any hurting people.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Lady GaGa Hated Doing Muppet Special

"That stupid Pig hogged up all the time. Now friends are calling me up and telling me that they couldn't tell any difference between us."

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Radioactive Japanese wave nears USA.

Typical response: "At least it's headed for California!"

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #577

According to Snoops: Charlie Weaver died after laughing so hard over a Paul Lynde joke, he fell all the way down from the top on the left. His last words were, "Donkey Fazoo!"

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

'Genderqueer' rising: Colleges welcome kids who identify as neither male nor female.

College Deans: This is that SNL Pat's doing!

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Gaga Muppet special ratings turkey.

She now says she regrets going on as an undressed turkey! The Charlie Brown Special almost doubled her ratings in it's 25th showing.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Global Warming Has Increased?

DEEP FREEZE: Nearly 1,000 Record Low Temperatures Set.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Faber: 'We are in a massive speculative bubble'

"If a major bank goes down, stock market drops a little too much, gold or interest rates shoot up...the bubble bursts. And you know what happens to us bubble boys when that happens!"

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

POLL: Majority of Americans Distrust One Another.

"Well, you could get knocked on your ass at any time by a stranger", stated one man-on-the-street. "Like I just did."

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Who Vouches That Grinch Nowhere Around Trees

"I don't know who stole them." "Who stole them?" "No, Who's on second, Don't Know who stole them!" "You just said 'Who' stole them!" "I Don't Know! He's on third...."

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Grinch steals 50 Christmas trees from lot.

Grinch denies report. "I have a big heart, not big muscles. I mean, 50 trees?"

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

President Sends Out Warning

Attention U.S. military: Please stay away from people that may knock you out until we can define a knock-out zone! Michelle! (I was just knocking off that piece of lint in your hair.)

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Brooklyn woman becomes city's 10th 'knockout' victim just moments after rally to end random violence.

"I got in a couple of left jabs and one to the belly before he dropped me", says 72-year-old.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Santa with Megaphone Shames Thanksgiving 'Parasite' Shoppers.

"You're all a bunch of turkeys!"

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

China Sends Out Warning

Santa Claus warned not to violate China's new airspace! (Santa: Kiss It!)

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
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True Facts From Snoops #1110

According to Snoops: To this day, no one in the medical field knows how Lou Gehrig Disease got its name.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

President Carter, I Mean President Obama Gives in Again

UPDATE: U.S. Airlines Advised to Comply With China Air Defense Zone.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

Grinch steals 50 Christmas trees from lot.

"We're looking for a suspect or suspects that are selling Christmas trees at a great discount", say police.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #902

According to Snoops: one out of four Americans now believe that Stephen Hawking is a Muppet.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #779

According to Snoops: Due to global warming, by 2060 birds will no longer need to migrate to warmer climates. Eventually, they will lose the ability to fly.

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
Rating:

FDA warns against counterfeit male sexual enhancement product

Vitamin and herb mixture may not blow you up but could easily blow you away!

written by Bureau, 30 November 2013
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