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Pope Francis said it is a sin for people to waste food.

He then admitted that, though the United States throws away a lot of stuff at restaurants, most of the world would not actually call the stuff food.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Mayor: 'Can't control Mother Nature'

Mayor's wife: No, but you can control the toilet lid when taken a whiz.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

NFL player's house searched again

"We just wanted to make sure all our bugging devices were still there", states FBI agent.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Christie Having Problems

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie belted gut slipped in the middle of speech yesterday and witnesses say his ass increased until he fell backwards & couldn't get up.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Stones Back On Tour

Jagger/Richards say that "The Geritol Tour" could actually turn out to be their last.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Suicide Bomber Has Heart Attack

Kabul: A potential suicide bomber apparently had a heart attack before making it to his destination, according to doctor there. "High blood pressure, no meds, the man was a walking time-bomb."

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Snowden Seeking Asylum in Ecuador

Possibly Cuba, Russia, Maybe Venezuela, most likely Backhairistan.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Chicago Mayor Honors War Heroes, Thieves

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel announced that in recognition of our veterans, the city will turn off all the lights for two hours every night. "It'll allow our people to see the night skies once again."

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

President On Obamacare

Asked today about Obamacare changes coming up, the President told reporters, "I'll answer all your questions just as soon as I finish reading it."

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

.....bring out yer dead cobber!

George 'Abacus' Osbourne claims that the British economy is 'leaving intensive care'......what he fails to mention is it's heading for the mortuary!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Mili Vanili


Little Eddie Milipeed warns of 'hard reality ahead'.....roughly translated as: "you'll be hard pressed to find a job Ed once you are dumped into the dustbin of history!"

written by Herrdoktorfox, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Poor Al Gore

Poor Al Gore. Not many are showing interest is his global warming tirades but, even though he is a multi-millionaire, he can't draw out much money as it would kill hundreds of trees to make the cash.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Plumbers Report

A plumbers union reports that there has been some "Bad Shat" going down in Detroit and Chicago lately.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Strange New Sickness In Arkansas Explained

"It turned out that all were men, all visited Walmart and were using up-skirt shots", says doctor. "It's similar of delayed shock felt by vets returning from a war."

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

New ammo in U. S.'s holy war against Islam

An innovative company's new ammo for the U. S's holy war against militant Islam? Bullets dipped in pork rind oil. The "offensive" ammo is "sure to send the infidels to hell," the inventor says.

written by Gee Pee, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Palestinian PM quits after 3 weeks

"If you cannot find Arafat's hidden fortune in three weeks, you might as well go on to something else", says resigned leader.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Witness: Hastings' speeding car 'shook my car like a freight truck going

Others say that Hercule Poirot looked wild in the back seat with rug over his lap.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Giant caves once used by military now billed as best place to survive the apocalypse

First step planned is to remove all ten billion cans of WWII C-Rations.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

That Time of Year

Thousands of NRA members make their annual pilgrimage to Holey Site in Arizona.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

REPORT: Kenyans Rage as Obama Skips Father's Homeland on Africa Trip

Several threaten to show family pics of President as a newborn.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

PANDEMONIUM: 2 Million March in Brazil!

Many in crowd say they are afraid to stop less they be ran over by those behind them. Meanwhile, thousands are looking for a wide area to make their escape.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Russian Rights Advocate Says He Was Beaten!

"Apparently he didn't read the small print where it plainly states that: "You have the right to be beaten", say KGB

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

USA ACCUSED OF HACKING CHINA!

This is according to the latest news furnished by Chinese hackers of the United States.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Snoops True Facts #99

According to Snoops: The worst language ever used during "The Eisenhower Years" was 'Hecky Dern'!

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

U.S. extradition request did 'not fully comply with Hong Kong law'

"Although that particular law was only written down yesterday it was always "understood to be in effect" here in Hong Kong", states spokesperson.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

SNOWDEN HEADS TO MOSCOW!

The President thinks that the name Snowdon correctly describes the relationship between himself and Putin.

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

WTF 'Navy ditches toast to wives and sweethearts?'

Cornflakes rations for spouses the new 'don't ask, don't tell'?

written by queen mudder, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Sunday's Supermoon Won't Drive You Mad

"The average Joe won't feel a thing. But werewolves will sometimes bite off their own tails."

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
Rating:

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Disappears

No one seems to know the location of Iran's ousted Prez but friend says his last threat to the West was that he will hack GPS systems & send everyone "on trip to hell". "Then he got into car & left."

written by Bureau, 23 June 2013
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