There were 1,737 spoof news snippets published in August 2013. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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The U.S. Nixes The American Airlines - U.S. Airways Merger

The U.S. government has blocked the proposed merger between American Airlines and U.S. Air. A government spokesperson said they did not care for the new name, We Gotcha Airlines.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 August 2013
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The NBA "(H)oops" Schedule For 2013-2014

The 2013-2014 NBA Shedule was just released but it's going to have to be redone. It seems the schedule showed the world champion Miami Heat playing the last place Orlando Magic a total of 19 times.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 August 2013
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Bradley Manning announcement

American traitor who was sentenced to 35 years for leaking classified documents has announced he wants to become a woman. "I didn't expect him to be out so soon," said one prosecutor.

written by IainB, 22 August 2013
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Paris Hilton is not a dumb blonde

During a recent book signing in Milton Keynes, Paris Hilton announced that being a dumb blonde was only an act. "You're just not that good an actress," said one member of the audience.

written by IainB, 15 August 2013
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Free Drinks in Turkey

Hotels in Turkey near the Syrian border are offering guests free drinks to entice them. "It's a great offer," said one holiday maker. "You can get bombed every night!"

written by IainB, 23 August 2013
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England 3-2 win over Scotland reclassified as 'defeat'

If a bunch of Premier League multi-millionaires can only beat a pub team by 1 goal then it's not really a 'win' is it?

written by radiogagger, 16 August 2013
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Pope Francis is Serious

To show that he will not put up with child molestation, Pope Francis has already placed 3 bishops on the rack, placed 2 priests in the Iron Maiden & had one drawn & quartered. No kids molested lately!

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
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The New York Yankees' A-Rod Will Definitely Keep In Shape

Dancing With The Stars has invited Alex Rodriguez AKA A-Rod to appear on their next edition, since as an executive stated he'll have lots of free time on his hands (and feet).

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 August 2013
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The Woman From RPattz Past

Rob Pattinson was asked if he ever misses his ex-girlfriend Kristen Stewart. RPattz grinned and asked, "Kristen who?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2013
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The Phone Number Was Missing 4 Digits

A New Hampshire woman was arrested for calling 911 because she needed a pen. She has been charged with misuse of the 911 service. She is now telling police that she meant to call Walmart but misdialed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 August 2013
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A level average set to drop.

Next year they will be known as B levels.

written by radiogagger, 16 August 2013
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Crystal Palace set new football record.

Crystal Palace have officially been relegated from the Premier League without kicking a ball, according to all newspaper previews of the season which starts this weekend.

written by radiogagger, 16 August 2013
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Lamar Odom Explains His DUI

Lamar Odom says that his DUI arrest was not because he was under the influence of drugs or alcohol but from happiness due to getting away from the Kardashian Klan.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2013
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Lindsay Lohan Says 'No' To Visiting North Korea

After hearing that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un shot one of his ex-girlfriends, Lindsay Lohan says she is immediately cancelling her scheduled trip to Pyongyang.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2013
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Mrs. Ted Nugent Sure Picked A Fine Hiding Place

Ted Nugent's wife, Shermane Ann Nugent, was arrested at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport when airport security opened up her suitcase and found a handgun tucked into one of her bras.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2013
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Miley Cyrus Loves To Push The Envelope

The inventor of the foam finger is fit to be tied due to Miley Cyrus using his invention to touch her crotch region during her MTV Music Video Awards performance.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2013
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Johnny Depp Is Still Reeling From His Last Motion Picture

Johnny Depp has said that after the tremendous beating that his recent western The Lone Ranger took at the box office he never wants to see another horse, teepee, or buckskin underwear.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2013
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Panda Panic Over

A Panda reportedly seen by several people in New York City turns out to be old police car!

written by Bureau, 27 August 2013
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New Restaurant Fails After First Day in Arkansas

"I thought 'Pooters' was a good idea for a fun place but people took the name too seriously", says owner.

written by Bureau, 27 August 2013
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US Farmers Upset

"What's wrong with selling milk direct? We sold it and drunk it like that for 250 years. These stupid new rules are utter nonsense!"

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Does wine drinking protect against depression?

Only for the next few hours, you'll be happy as a lark!

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Guess Why The Rent In Tulsa Is So Cheap

A recent report stated that Tulsa, Oklahoma has the lowest rent of any American city, just as long as you don't mind living in a teepee.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 August 2013
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Petrol price could fall 2p after bank holiday

Don't spend it all at once!

written by radiogagger, 16 August 2013
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Anthony Weiner Recall

All Anthony Weiner Bobblehead Dolls are being recalled. It seems that they were missing the pants.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 August 2013
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"WHAT A LOAD OF RUBBISH"

Following an appeal on twitter, a Blackpool based Under 15 football team have got a new sponsor - the Tripe Marketing Board

written by radiogagger, 16 August 2013
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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt could pocket £15 million...

From sale of Hotcourse, the company he co-founded.
You could say he's in rude health. Or you could be really rude by rhyming his surname with another word.

written by radiogagger, 16 August 2013
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President Obama's New Gun Control Proposal

President Obama has come up with a new gun control proposal. He says the bill will allow U.S. citizens to own as many guns as they want, but bullets will be limited to just three per gun.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2013
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Catherine Zeta-Jones Explains Why She Left Michael Douglas

Catherine Zeta-Jones has revealed the reason why she split from her much older husband Michael Douglas is to take a break from the constant smell of Ben Gay.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2013
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A McDonald's In Detroit Closes Due To The Strike

A Detroit McDonald's closes after employees go on strike. No one applies for a job. Guess they figure $2.15 an hour won't cut the mustard (no pun intended).

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2013
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The Black Preacher Said He Was Misquoted

That black preacher who called Walmart a little bitty cracker corporation says he was misquoted. He said he really called it a corporation that sells real tasty little bitty crackers.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2013
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American Medical Association Recognizes Obesity as a Disease

"No one ever wanted to talk about the elephant in the room", says spokesman.

written by Bureau, 12 August 2013
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Mr. and Mrs. Joey Fatone Are Dancing To Divorce Court

Former 'NSYNC singer Joey Fatone and his wife Kelly are getting a divorce after an 8 year marriage. Apparently Mrs. Fatone took the words to the 'NSYNC song "Bye, Bye, Bye" quite literally.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2013
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MTV Music Video Awards Viewers Did Not Care For Miley Cyrus' Foam Finger Antics

Miley Cyrus' crude and lewd foam finger and tongue performance at the MTV Music Video Awards has managed to even out gaga Lady Gaga.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2013
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Ryan Seacrest Reveals Who He Wants The Third American Idol Judge To Be

Ryan Seacrest says he'd like to see the third American Idol judges chair filled by Bob Dylan.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2013
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Nadya Suleman's Amazing Crush

Nadya Suleman alias Octomom who has 14 children says if Anthony Weiner wasn't already married she'd like to have his baby.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2013
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Time Machine Appears in Central Park

Passengers point at Donald Trump, everyone laughs and they're off again.

written by Bureau, 27 August 2013
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UFO Spotters say they saw round object hover over Miami

"It's just another 'pie in the sky' they are always seeing up there", says police officer.

written by Bureau, 27 August 2013
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Weather Warnings

The weather Channel is warning officials that having something called a "Dust Bowl" in December/January not a good idea.

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Magic Stores Top Employee's Secret

Guy who works at magic store has learned to quickly move as boss does, by watching him closely and standing right behind him. "Now where did he go? Amazing!"

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Soccer season in England proves that summer is over!

The English Premier league started and summer was officially declared over; it pissed down with rain!

written by Jaggedone, 18 August 2013
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Cycling is London is now an extreme Sport!

Cyclists in London have registered for the Olympic Extreme sports in Calcutta, 2022, and feel they can win a gold medal because of their superb training avoiding buses and taxis in the capital!

written by Jaggedone, 18 August 2013
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Syria stop hostilities!

The civil war in Syria has been postponed for 48 hours because the US have failed to deliver their weapons in time and the presidents wife is shopping at Harrods!

written by Jaggedone, 18 August 2013
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Marijuana Ruling Could Signal End of Prohibition on Pot

Good. Make room for some home grown hemp for farmers to plant and sell for clothing, etc.

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Lamar Odom Arrested on LA Freeway

Police tell him he's under arrest for DUI. "Never took the stuff. I don't need that muscle-helper! That's for them bikers and such, you know, Louie Armstrong."

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Another Cruise Line Breakdown

Tourists told to strip to the waist and head for the oars.

written by Bureau, 23 August 2013
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The NFL Says Enough Is Enough Bro

The NFL announces that it will no longer tolerate excessive celebratory antics on the field and will instruct the players to wait and celebrate when they get home.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 August 2013
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Huma Abedin Talks About Weiner

Anthony Weiner's wife Huma has reportedly told him to change his last name or else she may leave him.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 August 2013
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Heat Wave In Alaska #3

After day at the seashore, locals return to whole village melted down.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
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Who The Heck Was That Masked Man?

The Hasbroken Toy Company has just reported that nationwide sales of The Lone Ranger Lunch Boxes only numbered 113.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 August 2013
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Isn't It Time For A New Song?

A close friend of Taylor Swift's has said that the singer is starting to get worried since she has not had a new boyfriend in several weeks.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 August 2013
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America Idol Wants Will.i.am

The producers of American Idol want Will.i.am to be one of the new judges. They suggested that he change the spelling of his name to the easier to write William. He replied "No.w.a.y."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 August 2013
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Half-carb bread goes on sale at middle class supermarket

Its only got half the slices.

written by radiogagger, 16 August 2013
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The Mars Rover Curiosity Has Been Roving For 1 Year Now

NASA is concerned about the Mars rover Curiosity because of the fact that the right rear tail light has burned out.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 August 2013
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Baseball Is Really Clamping Down On PED's

Major League Baseball has just announced that one of the team mascots has been fired after he tested positive for performance enhancing drugs, hot dogs, and Cracker Jacks.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2013
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Huma Abedin Says She's Heard All The Weiner Jokes

Huma Abedin, wife of Anthony Weiner, says that the Weiner jokes have really gotten out of hand.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2013
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Shellie Zimmerman May Be Divorcing George

George Zimmerman's wife Shellie says she may seek a divorce on grounds of being scared as hell.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2013
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Cory Booker wins Democrat primary, reveals he groped female, then announces run for NYC Mayor

Corry Booker, Mayor of Newark, announced today that he had groped a female friend, and that put's him in a position to run for New York City Mayor.

written by Moose, 14 August 2013
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Fast Food Workers Want A Raise and Fast!

Fast Food workers have gone on strike for more pay. Replacement workers are now being trained on how to say "You want fries with that?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2013
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Pelligrini gets a leek!

Man City learned today what it is to take a LEEK, and Cardiff City exposed Pelligrini's Leeks, Welsh style!

written by Jaggedone, 25 August 2013
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Clown Who Lost Job Over Obama Mask Sues President

"My company made me wear that ugly puss to begin with!"

written by Bureau, 21 August 2013
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Illness breakout tied to food chains

And not to bicycle chains as previously reported on MSNBC!

written by Bureau, 03 August 2013
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Most appalling reality TV shows

"Who Will Kiss This Horses Ass?", "Who Can Eat The Most Roadkill?", "Who Will French Kiss Rush Limbaugh?", "Fire-Ant Hill Sitting!"

written by Bureau, 03 August 2013
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Kim Jong Un Very Very Happy

According to reports, North Korea has actually shot down a misguided tourist in a lawn chair. First time missile hits anything but the ocean. No one knows victim. Kim says he may send DNA to US.

written by Bureau, 12 August 2013
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Plink-Plink-Plink-Plink-Plink!!

Local man cracks up and scares entire family and neighbors two months after they purchase piano for five-year-old. "All we could get out of him was him screaming "CHOPSTICKS!" over and over again.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2013
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First 3D Copied Pistol Shoots Successfuly

Shooter arrested as he shot the gun at a mechanical deer placed there to catch hunters out of season poaching.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2013
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Rushbo Once Again

Rush Limbaugh causes international incident by saying that new North Korean leader would look the same either end up if not for the eyes and nose!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2013
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Leaders call on EU to condemn Egypt violence, review ties

"Where were the leaders of the EU while our people were protesting Morsi?, asks soldier

written by Bureau, 16 August 2013
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Usher's son nearly drowns

"That's the last time we will ever show The Rocky Horror Picture Show again", he tells investigators.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2013
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NSA aggressively reviews any privacy breach: official

Then how do you know so much about people all over the USA? It looks like you're taking down notes on everyone, especially those you don't like. Like a group for freedom!

written by Bureau, 16 August 2013
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New England Patriots Owner Still Says Putin Stole His Super Bowl Ring

Also, billfold, watch, underwear and penis ring.

written by Bureau, 12 August 2013
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Adult obesity rate in US holds steady: report

Butt still a little wobbly in the rear and belly. Breasts more steady with enlarged stomach.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2013
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Manitoba Wendy's Drops "T-Rex Burger" From Menu

"It's just too hard to kill one of those things!", says one owner.

written by Bureau, 12 August 2013
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Laugh Prison: Branson's new airline to stage on-board comedy shows.

"Have you heard the one about the aircraft that split in two while in the air? Well, you'll love this one. Wake that guy up. He wouldn't want to miss anything."

written by Bureau, 08 August 2013
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Nation tells President Obama not to tell them if we are at war

"It's the last summer weekend and I, for one, don't want to hear anything about any stupid war", average answer.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2013
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Biden considers possible 2024 bid

WASHINGTON, DC - Vice President Joe Biden may run for President in 2024, or he may be dead. But he wants you to know he might, or might not.

written by Moose, 13 August 2013
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Tennessee Family Sues Market

The Gilberts of Maryville, Tennessee are suing their local Market City Outlet after finding horseshoe in family-sized package of "beef".

written by Bureau, 17 August 2013
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Band Annoucement From Stage

"We're gonna finish up here soon folks, but you all stick around for a fireworks show like none you've ever seen! Joe here found these hidden in a mountain in Utah!"

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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FBI Scrutinizes Syrians in U.S. for Signs of Retaliation

"Scrutinized? What's that mean?" ask Americans of Syrian descent. "It doesn't sound good to me. Tell them we are not gay."

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Yosemite fire burns Chicago-size area

But somehow misses the city. "That was a close one", says Mayor Daley.

written by Bureau, 27 August 2013
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SPecial Announcement: Air Force Snafu

The U,S, Air Force has warned that there are three rouge drones out there that they have lost trace of. It is believed that they have somehow been hacked or that they can now reprogram themselves.

written by Bureau, 09 August 2013
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Grammys to be Investigated

After Miley Cyrus nominated for Lifetime Achievement Award.

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Rooney long faced sub!

Wayne Rooney put up a good show in front of TV cameras with a long miserable face as Robin VP showed him who the boss is!!

written by Jaggedone, 18 August 2013
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Big Change in the Number of Sales

Flea Markets Pass Target, beginning to gain on Costco and WalMart!

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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President Obama Wins Pulitizer Prize

For 32-page booklet of limericks about NYC Mayoral candidate, Anthony Weiner!

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Obama Considering 'Limited, Narrow' Syria Action

"You know. We could make a show of it with cherry bombs, turn loose a few drones, sparklers dropped from planes."

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Jaggedone brought out of retirement to save The Spoof!

Fab Author, Jaggedone, Erskine Quint, fabulous book, has been brought out of retirement to save The Spoof. His fee is undisclosed. Punters are saying Rooneys salary is peanuts, hence, U got a monkey!

written by Jaggedone, 18 August 2013
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We Wear Guns To Church

Well, not all of us. But just in case of a jihad, we are ready. You have to be careful not to disturb people during services so we all have silencers on them.

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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There's more elections next year.

No wonder people aren't voting. We have elections every six months it seems. I don't see why we couldn't all stand outside in the open and let Google see us hold up our hands.

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Kids Working Small Factories Report Law Officers

"Those are OUR kids", says parent. "And they are making extra bullets for our arsenal. You police need a few?

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Experimental Driverless Car Blown to Bits

Turkey Trot, Ark. turned out to be a bad choice for car makers & inventors to test their new driverless cars. A group of possum hunters saw the driverless car & opened fire. "We thunk it was hainted."

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Obama Finally Comments on 2012 Benghazi Attack

"I was the victim of faulty intelligence. You got that? I was the victim!"

written by Bureau, 27 August 2013
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Syria, U.S. one step closer to potential confrontation

"U.S. takes one step back because President Obama didn't ask congress "May I?" until break. Meanwhile Syria rushing goods out of Country, hiding weapons,scattering troops.

written by Bureau, 31 August 2013
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Zero Attendance for 'Climate Change' Rally

Everybody has become sick to death of Al "Chicken Little" Gore and the fat film maker.

written by Bureau, 14 August 2013
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W. Va. Man Pleads Guilty of Killing Rare Fox

"It was eating a very rare plant and I panicked!"

written by Bureau, 27 August 2013
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President Obama Serious About Syria

"Every President needs to win at least one war! Anybody remember Jimmy Carter?"

written by Bureau, 27 August 2013
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Justin Bieber Injured

After asking young lady to take a firm grip on his bicep!

written by Bureau, 27 August 2013
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First One Ever Recorded

The very first shootgun gay wedding today in Maryland, where it's legal.

written by Bureau, 10 August 2013
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Ohio death row inmate found hanged

Prison Staff: "If he would have done this 15 years ago he could have saved the taxpayers of Ohio a whole lot of money." (sniff)

written by Bureau, 05 August 2013
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Justin Bieber's visit to New York club ends in mass brawl

"Publicity stunt", says one officer. "All that mess and not much actual blood. One guy stepped on one of the three broken Catsup bottles."

written by Bureau, 05 August 2013
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U.S. directs agents to cover up program used to investigate Americans

Many Americans fleeing to Canada, Mexico or committing suicide by going on a cruise liner.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2013
« Jul 2013 August 2013 Sep 2013 »
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48
3rd
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5th
57
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55
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83
8th
40
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45
10th
57
11th
43
12th
71
13th
61
14th
72
15th
40
16th
85
17th
50
18th
53
19th
66
20th
69
21st
45
22nd
54
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49
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27th
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28th
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29th
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31st
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