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Rating:

Big Ben to change its tune

After extensive research, it has been shown that the BONG! BONG! BONG! of Big Ben is a secret advert for drug paraphernalia. For this reason, the tone will be changed to say "BOOM! BADA! BING!"

written by IainB, 04 September 2012
Rating:

Annie Lennox is related to the Queen

After appearing on the BBC's genealogy program Annie Lennox has discovered she is a third cousin of the Queen. In her honour, the show has been renamed Who Does One Think One Is.

written by IainB, 04 September 2012
Rating:

In Milton Keynes Today…

A girl stepped on a frog in the Park. She took it home and wrapped it in a pillow case. The next day the frog turned into a handsome prince - she couldn't believe it and neither could her parents!

written by IN SEINE, 04 September 2012
Rating:

Ronaldo retires because he is sad (and pathetic)!

Cristiano Ronaldo is depressed (AAAHH) because he knows he will never be Numero Uno unless Lionel Messi dies, so he's retiring. He is going to Calcutta to become Mother Teresa Numero dos! Bueno Dios!

written by Jaggedone, 04 September 2012
Rating:

Tory Cabinet Reshuffle Required Because…

Politicians and nappies should be changed often and for the same reason.

written by IN SEINE, 04 September 2012
Rating:

Campaigners from past haunt Republicans

The Republican Convention in Tampa, Florida was remarkable for the sudden appearance of old campaigners John Dewey and Barry Goldwater. Both defeated in their presidential campaigns. Good on you guys.

written by whatinthe world, 04 September 2012
Rating:

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 127

"Common Apiculture"

by

Bea Hives

written by IN SEINE, 04 September 2012
Rating:

Bobby Valentine's Breakfast with Red Sox Owner

According to witnesses, Valentine ate crow, and owner John Henry had cream puffs that he threw at his manager.

written by Ossurworld, 04 September 2012
Rating:

80,000 Paralympic crowd Boo Osborne!

Come on... some of them must have voted Conservative - a bit like at the end of the war, could you find a Nazi supporter?

written by Inchcock, 04 September 2012
Rating:

Pistorius is pissed!

Oscar Pistorius the "Blade Runner" is angry that a Brazilian was using stilts. The Brazilian says that he has only just bought them for his day job - picking apples.

written by IN SEINE, 04 September 2012
Rating:

Clegg's Tax on Rich Rejected by Osborne!

Well who would have believed it!

written by Inchcock, 04 September 2012
Rating:

MPs are earning up 13 times their salary taking on 2nd jobs!

"Oh... I am pleased for them..."

written by Inchcock, 04 September 2012
Rating:

Mitt Romney Plays Ball with Barack Obama

After President Obama compared himself to the Miami Heat, Mitt Romney told an audience he was named after a baseball glove.

written by Ossurworld, 04 September 2012
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