Spoof news snippets from Monday 3 September 2012
Bad Headline: Number 114
Olympic Cleanup
Whilst watching the Olympics 2012 from my Norfolk Shooting Estate, it would appear that the maid I had hired was a thief! She ran off with most of the silver!
Red Sox Pallbearers Arrive in Seattle
Unfortunately for Bobby Valentine, there are no dearly beloved.
Red-Headed Ginger nutters meet in Holland!
Gloabal "Ginger Nutters" meet in Breda, Holland; where else could they possibly get their "orange heads" together!
Wayne Rooney is being looked after by his wife Coleen!
Thanks to the Star for that news.
"I didn't really expect that high class prossie Helen Wood or high class Hooker Jenny Thompson would be looking after him... or did I?"
Blanket is health and safety risk... unless you pay a fiver!
A stewardess said to Zoe Hammond: "Strict rules" stopped them from handing out blankets - But if she handed over £5 she could have one - along with an eye mask and a blow-up pillow.
"Oh yes...?"
Theresa May: Let's close door on illegal immigrants
Let's close door on illegal immigrants and call a halt to fake marriages.
"That's the end of her career then! Saying that!"