Spoof news snippets from Thursday 20 September 2012
Potential Killer Crayfish Invade Hamstead Heath
Swimmers who have been using some of the pools around Hampstead Heath have already received nasty nips in their nagers from huge swarms of crayfish.
Don't Panic!
Keep calm and carry on… Cpl Jones' butchers van is for sale at an estimated £20,000.
New Digital Weather Channel
The Weather Channel are to launch a new TV Channel called The Weather Channel+1 so people can see what the weather was like an hour ago.
Manchester United launch new TV Channel
Manchester United are to launch an additional channel for MUTV for the hard of hearing, called MUTE.
India don't want British supermarkets!
Gandhi, Aldi yes! Tesco no! The latest "Raj" in India causes a supermarket war; Holy cows and Lidl!
Government Hatch Secret Plan To SWELL Ranks
In a cost-cutting exercise, the MOD are going to train new recruits in Afghanistan from Cradle to Grave! A spokeman said "Our lastest squaddie was born yesterday."
British Soldier gives birth Camp Bastion in Afghanistan
Prince Harry releases a statement saying that this cock up is nothing to do with him.