Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 23 October 2012

Mitt Romney responds to Obama's Bayonet taunt.

"I can assure the President that the Iranians do NOT like it up them." He told a packed GOP Rally in Ohio.

Beluga Whale mimics Human speech

A Beluga Whale has started to mimic human vocalizations. However some are worried that the White Whale who is known to also like gold and cigar smoke sounds a lot like Jimmy Savile.

'Pawn Stars' to help rearm Mitt's Navy

Rich Harrison of History Channel's 'Pawn Stars' has said he could let the Navy have a bulk of bayonets at a discount were Mitt Romney to soften his proposed new rules restricting Pawnbrokers.

"Blood" Rain Expected This Week

In what could be a Halloween trick or treat, blood has been forecast to rain over parts of Milton Keynes. However, many people will be expecting it in vain!

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 144

Cameron: I was right not to sack Andrew Mitchell

"Of course you were right... as nepotists go that is!"

David Cameron visits Wormwood Scrubs

Perhaps he went on a visit to see his ex MPs and other cheating friends?

Cameron: Charities to keep lags out of prison

He says: Companies will only be paid by results.

The Government ministers should get the same treatment!

Does Britain Need Police Commissioners?

"No, it but it badly needs Police Officers!"

Clean Water Act Update

If Pres. Obama is reelected the EPA is planning to extend its water regulations to American's toilets/bidets, sinks/bathtubs, dog/cat water dishes, fish tanks, kiddy pools, fish ponds and coffee pots!

Third Slime Ball Award

The Slime Ball award again goes to Democratic Senate Majority Leader Reid. He indicated that Republican Mitt Romney had manipulated his 2011 tax returns to pay more taxes for political purposes!

An Analogy

Obama administration policies are like stepping in dog poop. Even after they are retracted, rejected by the American people or found unconstitutional the smell lingers on!

Religious Hypocrites

Muslim political leaders in Arab countries instigate riots over the defaming of their religion, but do not hesitate to defame Christens, Jews, Sikhs, Hindus and other Religions!

Get Out of Our Lives

Michelle Obama's "Healthy and Hunger-Free Kids Act" caps the number of calories in school lunches served to students with a one size fits all approach, regardless of child's nourishment needs!

Gas Pains

Rabid environmentalists protest natural gas fracking because they say it can give the Earth a pain in the ass. However, natural gas fracking is saving President Obama's economic ass!