Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 10 October 2012

Woman wondering if that's an extra period or unfinished ellipsis

BROOKLINE, MA--Amy Tripwaller wasn't sure if her friend's text, 'That made my day..see you tonight' contained a two dot ellipsis or an extra period, but she wasn't about to ask, either.

When Irish eyes are smiling it must be those Oil billions!

Irish eyes are smiling once again after it was confirmed that billions of barrels of oil have been found there! The US have sent their troops in to secure the fields just in case the Brits invade!

Savile Row Shock at BBC

Savile Row trousers found smeared with semen at BBC canteen!

Felix Baumgartner grounded by wind

A combination of beans and the fizzy energy drink of his sponsor put paid to the Austrians edge of space leap yesterday. "My space suit just kept expanding and the smell was terrible." Felix said.

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 139

CAMERON: Sink or Swim Situation

David Cameron says that this country is facing a sink or swim situation. He is displaying brilliant leadership skills by neither wearing swimming trunks or water wings!

Lady Gaga meets Assange

Lady Gaga today had a short interview with Julian Assange but after a cuo of tea felt very sleepy and reported waking up without her underwear.

Jerry Sandusky finds the boot on the other foot.

Prison guards found Jerry Sandusky weeping in his pod last night after he was sexually penetrated in the showers by a man bigger and stronger than him. The Warden has decided to look the other way.

Jimmy Savile WAS a Serial Sex Predator

They wish to emphasise the word 'WAS' and that the public can be reassured that he is no longer doing it, since his death.

Bad Habit?

A woman dressed as a nun was caught on CCTV in a shop in America stealing several cans of beer and hiding them in her robes. She is thought to be a habitual thief.