Megan Stammers to move schools.
The teenage girl who sparked a Europe wide manhunt when she ran off with her teacher will finish her GCSE's at convent school staffed entirely by elderly Nuns.
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written by
John_L, 01 October 2012
Arm-a-gett'n To Be "By Invite Only"
Attention campers!Those of you who plan to attend The Self-Inflicted Bar Fight at the end of time should be advised that the event is an "invitational" A clean Sullivan and Cromwell T-shirt is a must!
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Westboro Baptist Church Leader Arrested
Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps arrested and charged with espionage, treason, attempted murder and collusion with a known terrorist organization.
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written by
Heeke, 01 October 2012
Irregular? Or are you a regular here?
Regular irregularity and irregular irregularity are not the same thing as getting your irregularity regularly. You got to do it everyday folks!
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Tennis to introduce Grunting Ban.
New rules to stop female tennis players screaming as they strike the ball were approved today. This came after CBS' decency chip launched which switches off WTA matches as it interprets them as porn.
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written by
John_L, 01 October 2012
Historian Eric Hobsbawm dies
Doctors said the 95 year old lost the will to live after watching 30 seconds of 'Andrew Marr's History of the World' last night. Other historians have been warned against watching the program.
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written by
John_L, 01 October 2012
Europe Win (shaun) Ryder Cup!!
America's Davis Love the third, Keegan Bradley, Tiger Eldrich Woods, Webb Simpson and Bubba Watson also lose the orthodox name contest
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Going to The Candidates Debate:
Romney pulls an all-nighter. Obama hosts a kegger.
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October Surprise is right!
Romney Campaign Takes Torpedo Up Aft Tube!
Direct Hit to Magazine Section! But Wait, This Is News 'aint it? So be it! Missouri Synod Lutheran Lottery winner hits big-time with Rev 22:18-19, 94 more!
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Government call for a telly ban
With kids watching too much TV, the government have called for the telly ban to be introduced in the UK. "I'm not sure it's a good idea," said Ed Milliband. "Having seen what they did in Afghanistan!"
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written by
IainB, 01 October 2012
'Countryfile' presenter denies sexting
Adam Henson the shows resident farmer has denied sending an explicit text to a BBC producer. "It was a photo of a rare Cockerel" Henson protested "I guess the text wasn't all that clear."
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written by
John_L, 01 October 2012
Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 141
"The History of Rock 'n' Roll"
by
Tristan Shout
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Illegal Immigrant Trying to Enter Spain Disguised As Car Seat
An illegal immigrant tried to enter Spain disguised as a car seat. He had to give himself up when the 22 stone woman sitting on him, FARTED. However, DFS are interested in employing him in their adverts.
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G4S to take over the NHS
Jeremy Hunt commented "Letting G4S run the Health Service will solve any future pension crisis and cure our aging society"
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written by
John_L, 01 October 2012
Chair bites old man in Hollywood
A folding chair has collapsed under Clint Eastwood for the third time this week. It is seen as part of a revenge plot by chairs after his rant at the RNC. Eastwood has taken to using leaning boards.
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written by
John_L, 01 October 2012
Some two dozen topless women protested in New York!
24 topless women protested in a New York on a hot, Sunday: What they called "National Go-Topless Day" to draw attention to inequality in topless rights between men and women.
"Damn, I missed it!"
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Nepali man bites Cobra snake to death in revenge attack
55 year old Miya said: "I could have killed it with a stick but bit it with my teeth instead because I was so angry!"
"Got to admire the man ain't yer?"
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