Spoof news snippets from Thursday 8 November 2012
Correction to Tomorrows Weather in Yesterday's Edition
An eggplant can double in size every time you eat it! Wether the weather wears out your leather or your leather wears out your feathers, there's always room for another sweater! There will be reign.
Oil Company to Hire Priests-Start of a Trend?
Now that the Archbishop of Decanterbury has a brand new bung, Major Oil Co plans a valve cleaning of their own. Squeeky clean rules the day, as headhunters go for the white collar over the blue!
Chinese ban Pigeon-Spies from Beijing!
The paranoid Chinese Communist party has banned ping pong balls, open windowed vehicles and pigeon-spies from flying in their air space until they've chosen a new leader; here his name, WAN KIN DIK!
Can you hear me mother?
Woolly mammoth skeleton unearthed near Paris, well I'll be buggered, I often wondered what happened to the mother-in-law on the day trip back in 1967?
G45 heading for their P45
G45 loses contract to run Yorkshire prison....next week they lose the winkle stall"
Hallelujah man!
New Archbishop of Canterbury appointed...bastards, I bet they never even considered my application!
Take-it-away!
Hi Jintao hails China's 'Golden Decade'.."I'll drink to that..whoever you are, I've still got my sixpenny Chinese yo-yo after all these years...and they said it would not last...quality wins through!'
Obama admits being a Muslim
President Barack Obama has finally admitted that he is, in fact, a muslim and an informal member of the Indonesian terrorist group Jamal Islamiya. He says he likes this group very, very, very much.