Spoof news snippets from Saturday 24 November 2012
Anti-Bullying week ends unsuccessfully
Mark Smudger admits he was unsuccessful during Anti-Bullying week. "Well, you see," he said, "my uncle wasn't best pleased."
Dance In The Dark?
Naked Lady GaGa stumbles on 35 fans in her garage....strewth, how big is this woman?
"Go Team GB!"
Another inebriated pom does the balcony 'bossa-nova' head dive from a Hotel, this time at Butlins in 'exotic' Bognar Regis..nice to learn that team GB are practising hard for the next Olympics
"Lash me baby, one more time!"
Tory MP Nadine Dorries has been asked to attend a meeting with the Chief Whip following her appearance on 'I'm a Celebrity'..the old fella has been counting the days since he saw her in shorts!!
The Leveson Inquiry in numbers: 17
17 - times Rupert Murdoch said 'sorry' during last 3 hours of his evidence.
The second most humble day of his life. (The first involved similar apologies but also a custard pie in his face)
Leveson report to be published next Thursday
I'm getting the DVD for Christmas. My mum loves Hugh Grant.
Mail Online reaches new record of 106m monthly browsers
99 million of them for the sidebar of shame to see Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Miley Cyrus walking out of shops, houses and buildings. And another million to see Helen Flanagan in the jungle.
Blink and you'll miss him
A West London Hotel has changed the name of its top floor suite to Rafa Benitez to 'honour' the new Chelsea boss - saying the room is perfect for short stays.
It used to be named after Kim Kardashian