Spoof news snippets from Thursday 1 November 2012
Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 146
by
Meryl Lee and Joe King
Imbecile soccer fans attempt to act like intelligent monkeys: Bigots!
UK soccers fans have been caught attempting to act like their intelligent cousins; monkeys. Which again goes to prove that primates are much further up the evolutionary tree than soccer imbeciles!
NYC Subways to Reopen Thursday
Thank god for that! I've missed the Meatball Marina & Chicken Tikkas.
Romney now embraces BDSM
Told by an aid that there may be votes in 'Fifty Shades of Grey' readers Mitt Romney is admitting that he thinks women are inferior to men in every way.
Romney FEMA Flip Flop man
Mitt Romney has gone from saying FEMA should be scrapped to saying that it is vital. Apparently if he thinks that there are votes in it he'll say he loves it.
Sepp Blatter Said English Football Is 'Run By Idiots' *
Well it takes one to know one (or some).
* As told by Seb Coe in his autobiography.
Woman 'Fakes Her Own Kidnap To Get Day Off Work'
The things people will do to watch Jeremy Kyle.
It Could Be
President Obama won't release his college transcripts because these records indicate he registered as a "FOREIGN STUDENT" in order to receive federal grant money!
Double Troubles
LONE RANGER: Syria says Iranian scientists caused Hurricane Sandy. Iran wants to send an emergency team to New York City to help. TONTO: They both speak with forked tongues!
Democrats Running Out of Money
Political advisor David Axelrod, DNC Chair Debbie Wassermann Shultz and VP Joe Biden have been seen standing on various street corners in Washington DC with "PLEASE DONATE" cardboard signs!
Democratic Desperation
Democratic Party political advisors (disinformation specialists) are saying President Obama may carry North Carolina and all of the other 56 states the president visited!
Feather Color Change
PBS is considering changing Big Birds color from yellow to dark blue to match their political leanings. (Bright red was their first choice!)
Repairman in Chief
Pres. Obama says power outages caused by Hurricane Sandy will require several days to restore service, but is still silent about his decision making role in the Benghazi Libya American embassy attack.
Dumb Florida Republicans
The Florida Republican Legislature's plan to reduce the number of early voting days by six has probably increased the turnout of African American voters, who overwhelmingly vote for Democrats!
Dumb Democratic Argument
LONE RANGER: Democrats blame Republicans for gridlock on illegal immigration, jobs, taxes etc. TONTO: Democrats controlled the WH and Congress (filibuster proof) in 2008 - 2010 and did nothing!
Russian pop group sent to Lesbian prison.
aka - Pussy Riot for Pussy Riot!
Redundancy-hit weekly newspaper uses picture of innocent man for drug dealer story
The innocent man is now planning to sue for damages, and is also looking for a supplier to meet new demand.