Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 8 May 2012

Orang-utans sue Boris Johnson!

Borneo orang-utans are suing the London Mayor, baboon Boris Johnson, because he claims he looks like them. What a f+++++g insult!

Ed Miliband egged by voter.

Nice to see in these tough economic times, people can still afford to waste food for a good cause.

Will Smith says he supports Obama's call for higher taxes on top earners

Well, that's mighty white of … er, thanks for the sacrifice, Will

CIA derails plot with al-Qaida underwear bomb

Experts are picking apart a sophisticated new al-Qaida underwear bomb to figure out whether the skid marks match the one that failed to detonate aboard a jetliner over Detroit on Christmas 2009.

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 44

Dentists rip off NHS with fraudulent claims

Many claim for complicated treatment like crowns when only fillings or check-ups were done. And some are even inventing patients to rake in more money from the NHS.

"Let's not upset them though..eh?"

Sex fiend caged... but only for attack No31

One was let off 31 times, before finally being banged up.

"Hang um!"

Madeleine McCann: Police follow-up new clues

Madeleine McCann: Police are following up fresh clues from a potential sighting on Spain's Costa del Sol.

"I still think something stinks about this crime!"

Potential Campaign 2012 Issue

Aliens from Planet X have both a penis and a vagina. Democratic and Republican Congressional members are in a quandary as to how same sex marriage legislation would affect immigrant aliens!

Natural Gas Production

Dinosaur flatulence & belching may have caused the world to grow warmer 200 million years ago. Now that human's rule, rabid environmentalists want to ban eating beans, legumes & gas producing foods!

Socialist Hollande Defeats Conservative Sarkozy

A French historian indicates that in five years Louie VIX or Napoleon V may run for president, dependent on the state of France's economy

Close But No Cigar

VP Biden said I'm "absolutely comfortable" with gay marriage. He then added, why shouldn't married people be as happy as single people?

It's an Election Year Stupid

President Obama attended a fund raiser at a Cuban restaurant, located next to a Catholic Church in Spanish Harlem, hosted by the black owners, employing women chefs and a gay/lesbian wait staff!

A Shaggy Horse Story

A year study is to determine if a Florida Seahorse is endangered. Vice President Biden wants the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) to just ship them to Montana with the rest of the Mustangs!

Obama Wants More Time

President Obama began his official re-election campaign on June 5, 2012. Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney says President Obama began his unofficial re-election campaign on January 21, 2009.

Vera Lynn Reveals Secret Regret

I wish I had never shagged Von Richthofen - it was a moment of weakness that led inevitably to my big hit single "White Cliffs of Dover" but you will have to buy my autobiography to find out why".